Story of the Nameless Shang
by silverspirit737
Summary: Arra is a 17 year old trying to escape her life. But Fate has a plan for her: To marry Prince Liam. But when she doesn't and decides to go against everything that has to be, lives are at stake as well as the peace of the land. Can she admit to love?
1. Introduction

The girl looked out over the distance, her dark hair with sun bronzed streaks flailing behind her in the wind. This is where her teacher and long time friend, the Shang Pheonix, had told her to go. To Tortall.

She'd been a full fledged Shang for a year now, though herself without a Shang name. She went by none other then Arra. _I've put off coming Tortall for a year. Because I was too afraid what I'd find, but I'm hurting people now and this is where I've been directed._

Arra sighed and urged her horse, Ghost, forward. She tried to stay away from the memory of why she didn't have her Shang name, too many complicated things. It had cost her too many things. Arra was still a ways from Tortall though she could see it, which left her time to think about what she was really doing here.

_I'm just going to a mage school is all. They told me powerful mages live here who can help me. And to save myself some trouble I'll keep hidden the fact that I'm a Shang. Not only that but the Nameless Shang._

Yet another thing all this had brought her. Apparently, she'd made a name for herself in the past year. Ironic how she'd made the name without a name. They called her the Nameless Shang. Arra had met many kings and even the Emperor of Carthak just by saying she was the Nameless Shang. She hadn't meant it, well meant for it to win her an audience. She was just passing through and happened to say she was a Shang, the Nameless Shang.

_I never wanted any of it. All I wanted, even from the very beginning, was to be free to make my own choices. That's it. **Life is never easy,**_ that's what her teacher had always said, a sort of motto if you will.

Tortall, Tortall, her mind whirred with the city's name. Had her own name preceded her here too? She hoped not. One of the things people always wanted to now was why she was Nameless. Her most famous answer was, "The Shang Council found me unfit."

People would answer with. "But you still carry the name 'Shang' with you.

"I was fit enough to carry the title with me, but I carried no honor for a Shang name."

So the conversation usually went.

Of course she knew the reason, well that was the reason but not the full story. Her own teacher had not even stood up for her in the Council. She remembered his brown eyes apologizing to her, telling her this was how it had to be even if it was wronging her in some way. Arra had understood. He couldn't have done anything else and still be considered an honorable Shang.

The one person who had stood by her was her friend, who had also been trained by the Pheonix. He had almost given up his own naming for it though. As of now he carried the name Shang Hawk.

"The problem with me was I had the Gift." The lone girl murmured to herself. One white ear flicked back at her, questioning what she had said. Arra answered, "Don't worry about it, Ghost." And petted the mare's side.

_Though having the Gift wasn't all of it._

As they neared the city Arra started to wander deeper into her thoughts when something struck her shoulder, piercing it with searing pain. She studied it through the pain and found an arrow protruding form her shoulder.

A poisoned arrow.


	2. Waking up

A/N: I'm glad some people liked my introduction. And here is the second chapter. Please read . . . blah . . . etcetera. Lol.

**x ..:..x**

Alanna rode with a small company, coming back from business for the kingdom. On her way back she'd stopped at her home for a short visit, her children all gone in different directions, it proved to be a small reunion with only her husband. Then rode on to Daine and Numair's place to take Daine away from her own child for a short while. Daine had insisted on coming with her to the palace after hearing some of the horses had come down with some sort of illness.

The procession stopped suddenly.

A pure white horse, except for the four legs, which were black from each knee down stood in the middle of the road. The horse was also decorated with bright spots of fresh blood. Each red mark standing out in extreme contrast to the fur.

"Daine, come see this." Alanna called. Daine had stayed near the back.

"I see it." The wildmage said. Alanna waited because the girl was probably talking to the mare, questioning it as to what had happened. Alanna could tell it belonged to someone because of the saddle but where was the rider?

Daine finally spoke, her voice thick with urgency. "She says her rider is hurt in the forest." As the words were still coming out of her mouth she dismounted and followed the mare into the forest with speed.

Arra fought to keep her eyes open, the poison was working fast in her system and yet terrribly slow. Ghost had left, maybe to find help, she couldn't be sure.

Though her mind was slowly becoming foggy questions still sluggishly went by.

Who would want her killed? That was the only reason she could think of for a poisoned arrow. They hadn't tried to steal anything from her so they weren't theives. Arra noticed the loss of feeling in her fingers when she tried to move them.

_I don't want to die like this. Maybe another way but not by a coward who shoots from afar then leaves the person to die. No . . . not like this..._

Leaves crunched, sounding the approach of someone. Arra grabbed one of the daggers she kept with her and readied herself to throw. She wouldn't go without a fight. The girl waited. Then through the bushes sprouted her own white mare, Ghost. Following closely was a young woman, older than Arra. The woman had brown smoky curls framing her face and cool grey eyes. Arra put her weapon down. Somehow she could feel she could trust this person.

"Pois--" Arra had trouble forming the words. Her tongue felt too weak to hold itself. "Poisoned . . . arrow." She finally managed out. Arra couldn't remember what happened next, whether the woman helped her or just looted whatever she had with her, but she prayed it was the former just before her eyesight flickered black. The last thing she saw was those cool grey eyes.

"_So young, so young you were." The old woman's cackle could almost be heard in her words even when she wasn't laughing. "You've got a future ahead of you. You've tried to hide from it but it followed you anyways." Then the old woman actually did cackle._

"_No, no no." Arra shook her head. No. She wasn't going to Tortall for _that_. She would leave after she had control over her Gift. That was all. The woman's cackle followed still bringing her back to her childhood._

_Her mother, blond haired and beautiful, sat in her chair calmly. She waited for the seer to say what it was she had traveled so far to tell them. Arra's father couldn't be there as he was attending to business. _

_Arra remembered even at her young age of three. Who could forget when your life was planned right before you without your consent? _

_The old woman finally spoke. "Your young child could have a great future ahead of her." The woman paused, then continued. "Surely, you know you cannot have any more children?"_

_Arra's mother looked up from her calm state to meet the old woman's eyes. Suprise written clearly across her beautiful face. "Y—yes I know but how did you--?"_

"_I know plenty. This one could rule you know." The old woman didn't stop in the subject change._

"_How can she? We need a male heir." The golden haired woman said back sadly. She blamed herself for not producing the male needed. Even though in this land women were accepted to rule, male heirs were preferred._

"_Nonsense. She can marry a male, he will rule by her side." The old woman laughed, sounding more like an evil cackle to the young Arra though. "Actually I know _who _she will marry." She cackled again. "A Tortallan prince."_

_Tortallan prince ..._

_Tortallan prince . . ._

_The words rang and echoed in her conscience._

Arra sat up in bed gasping for air. She hadn't had that dream in a while. It was stronger than any of the others. Maybe it had to do with being in Tortall?

Wait, a bed?

There was one person sitting next to her, asleep. The person was aged, if not old, with brown hair. Arra hated to wake the person up but she needed to. Gently, she shook one shoulder. "Excuse me? Sir, excuse me."

Suddenly he awoke, opening green eyes. "Your awake, good. I'm Duke Baird. Are you hungry?"

Arra shook her head then asked, remembering the poisoned arrow in her shoulder. "Was I healed?"

"Yes, and lucky we found you when we did." Came the answer.

"Then I won't be able to eat anything for a while. My stomach won't hold it. But may I ask, where am I?" Arra tried to ask kindly.

"Tortall. I'm the Chief healer. I'll be right back. I need to inform the king you've awoken." With that he left the room.

The king? _Ug, I didn't want to be noticed this time. Not in this kingdom anyways. The king? It is from the fruit of his loins my life became a misery!_

Disrupting her thoughts, the door opened. A man entered he had black hair and a neat closely cropped black beard. Sparkling sapphire eyes shone from behind long eyelashes. This had to be the king, no mistaking the air of command around him.

The Duke Baird entered after him and also a red haired woman with a sword clipped at her side. Alanna the Lioness, there was also no mistaking her.

Not sure her legs would work Arra settled for an explaination and an apology. "I would stand but, er, I'm not sure if my legs would hold. Please forgive me."

"No, of course not. Rest." King Jonathan said mildly.

When no one spoke for a short while Arra decided to speak. "When will I be able to leave?"

"Your fair comfortable around Royalty." Alanna commented.

"You meet a lot of royalty when your the Namel--" Arra caught herself from the bitter comment, and also from letting them know.

"You mean the Nameless Shang?" There was no bitterness in her words as she lifted her hand holding up a silver token the size of her palm. It was blank, no decorations. It was the token that marked a Shang, usually it held the picture of an animal after which they were named but . . .

Arra darkened. Being the Nameless Shang wasn't something she was proud of. "You went through my packs." Then she also remembered the Emperess of Carthak was this king's daughter. She may have told them about her and her looks could be spotted if looked for.

The woman knight opened her mouth to speak again when the king stopped her. "Alanna." He warned then turned to Arra. "You were hit with a poisoned arrow do you know why?"

"Not really."

"Were you passing through Tortall or stopping?" The king continued.

"I--" She wanted to say she was passing through but she knew very well that was a lie. "I was stopping here." For some reason she continued to speak. Arra felt she could trust these people, and that apparently made her tongue loose. "I need help controlling my Gift, I've had accidents that haven't been pretty."

"A Shang with the Gift?" The Lioness questioned with a raised brow.

"I, uh, hid it from them." Arra said vaguely. "I came here hearing that mages here could help me. Apparently, I'm 'bursting at the seams' with my 'uncontrolled Gift' as one person put it."

"You look too young to be a Shang." The king commented probably noting her size.

"I'm seventeen." And as way of explaination she continued. "My teacher taught fast while still making sure everything was jammed into our brains as well as our bodies. I asure you I am Shang."

"Your welcome here as long as you wish. The mages here will help you if you only ask them." He stood to leave when Arra was struck with memory.

"And Ghost? How is she? Where is she?" Her voice was almost frantic.

"You mean your mare? She's fine our wildmage took care of her." The king said just before he left.

Arra laid back into the bed, relieved. Alanna walked over. "Get rested." She said her amethyst eyes kind. Arra smiled in response and closed her eyes to sleep.

**x..:..x**

A/N : Well how did you like it? Eh? I'd love to know. So please review!


	3. Working and learning

A/N: Okay! Here's the third chapter. Hope everyone enjoys. This one might be a little boring but it gets more interesting, I promise. Oh! And thank you everyone who reviewed!

These characters belong to Tamora Pierce. (with the exception of Arra. )

**x..:..x**

The next time Arra woke she felt fully rested and hungry. Food was promtly brought to her and she was grateful. She asked the Duke healer how long she'd been there and he answered that she'd been here for a week counting when she'd woken before. Arra thanked him and he said she was free to go.

Arra grabbed her things and left the room. Somehow she found her way outside where she stretched and worked out the kinks in her body. Her shoulder was a bit stiff and still ached. From there she went to the open fields where the horses were kept and found Ghost. "Hey, girl." She called.

The mare trotted over to the gate and smelled her all over. Arra laughed and said. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"She's been worried about you." A voice said from further down the gate. Arra looked to see who it was and found the girl with the cool grey eyes and another woman next to her with black hair and hazel eyes. They both walked over and Arra got a good look at the both of them.

The first she had seen before she found her name was Daine and the second she already knew. The perfect ivory skin, raven's black hair and full red lips pointed her out in a crowd. Arra bowed, a rule of hers to not get confused. If she's wearing breeches she bows and if she's wearing a dress she curties. "Queen Thayet."

They shook hands. Arra turned to Daine. "Thank you for saving me, if there is ever anything I can do just ask."

"It was really your mare here that saved you." She answered modestly. Queen Thayet smiled and changed subject.

"I think my husband wanted to talk with you." Arra followed them into a room with people already in it. She sighed and took a seat. "I suppose you want to know why I'm Nameless. Or perhaps why I have the Gift. Something like that."

The king's handsome face broke into a smile. "I gather you get asked that a lot. But no, if you wish to tell us than feel free but I have a proposition for you."

Arra decided to listen.

"Recently one of our Shang teachers left. If you are willing I'd like to ask you if you'd take her place. You'd teach in the afternoons to the pages and in the mornings you could be taught by whichever mage is open at the time. You could live here of course, a room would be prepared for you."

Arra thought about it. Live here? Where her fate had been plastered to? Could she live here for . . . however long and still escape what she had fought so hard to be rid of? "I accept." Though her words were final her mind still held doubt. Who was she kidding about 'however long'? It would take years to control her magic. "Call me Arra."

The king was happy to hear and soon after things were set up. She was given a room and such. Though over the next few weeks she did nothing but go to mages for teaching because the pages were on a break and wouldn't be back till later. The one mage she was sent to the most was Lindhall Reed.

Though learning to controll her Gift was hard, as she had tried to push it away for nearly all her life, calling it to herself was equally as hard. Once when she was coming to her class with him she dropped in on an interesting conversation he was having about her.

"The Duke Baird tells us soon after they healed her she went into a deep comatose. They couldn't even touch her because she had put up a magical shield." He continued on but Arra had stopped listening. The shield was something she had learned she did when she went into a coma. Sort of a protective instinct. Determining the man's tone of voice and the rest of the conversation she guessed she had a unique Gift. One she hoped they didn't trace to the 'unique-ness' of her grandmother's Gift.

When the pages returned, Hakuin Seastone, the Shang Horse, helped her fall into routine of teaching the pages. At first, because of her age and also because of her size no doubt, many doubted she was a Shang. They would challenge her after hours, and they would attract quite a croud when she accepted and threw them to the ground numerous times taking care not to seriously injure them.

Arra was glad to find that there were _some_ female pages if not many. There was one, one of the older pages, named Fianola. She had brown eyes, olive skin and tight curls that fought against every pin and hold she put on them. If there was something she could tell it was that this one was determined.

For a while Arra thought maybe things would be okay. Everything went smoothly after she proved she was in fact a Shang. More backed off when they found out she was the Nameless Shang. Arra didn't know what the rumors said but they worked.

Everything _was_ okay until Midwinter when the squires came back for a short while and Arra was met with her fears put into solid form.

**x..:..x**

A/N: And there you are. In the next chapter Arra comes face to face with Liam.

**Elfsquire90**: Is Arra nobility or royalty? Well, I'm not going to lie. But . . . I'm not going to tell you either. You'll find out in a few chapters I think. If I told you now . . .well the story just wouldn't be the same! Lol.

**Clair-a-net: ** why is she the nameless one? I said part of the reason in the first chapter, because she has the Gift. The other part you'll learn about later and if I know my story correctly, much later. what kingdom is she from? Hmmm. . . Lets just say her kingdom's not on the map . . .

A/N: And that's it. Please review!


	4. After dinner spar

A/N: I just felt so joyous today that I decided to post another chapter. Well, that and I don't think I posted one last week and I felt a wee bit guilty about it. So here we are.

Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns . . .this stuff. Except what you don't recognize.

**x..:..x**

Prince Roald was married to Princess Shinkokami of the Yamani Islands. Making the other prince her source of distress. Prince Liam. He had the black hair that could have come from either parent and his mother's hazel eyes. There was also the youngest prince, Jasson. Who she had met because he was a third year page. But didn't feel threatened by him. Or perhaps it was the seers words that guided her to believe it couldn't be him. Either way she could feel her fate tied not to Jasson, but to Liam.

He was handsome, no doubt about that, but Arra found herself trying to avoid him at every chance.

One night while on her way to the dinner she overheard the Prince himself talking with who she guessed to be his friends.

"Have you heard of the new Shang teacher?" One of the voices questioned.

"Who hasn't? They say she has . . . looks." Another said.

"Beautiful but dangerous, she's a Shang. And not just any Shang the Nameless Shang. You've all heard the stories they say she's taken out twenty men on her own." That voice was Prince Liam's. _Twenty men! Where do they get these stories about me?_

"Sounds like someone's attracted." The second voice joked. Arra could feel a blush building on her cheeks.

"Lachran, my dear boy, you know what they say. A man often goes after a woman like his mother. It just so happens that Liam's mother is also beautiful and dangerous." It was the first one again. "His brother, Roald, has one too. A beautifully dangerous princess."

"Please don't go into detail about how _beautiful_ you think my mother is. Its quite disgusting." Liam said, putting a mocking tone in 'beautiful'.

"Yeah but you didn't deny attraction to the Shang girl." Lachran said.

Arra could tell she was going to be late to the beginning of the dinner if she continued to follow these people. She found another way to get into the Hall without hearing the Prince's answer to the accusation. Before she sat she noticed that Daine had left, she had known that she'd left a while back but was just realizing how lucky she'd been to get away from the formalities of the dinner.

After one of the dinners of Midwinter Arra went out to the practice fields. Her mind buzzed with the looks the prince had sent her during the dinner. Even across a room she could tell who those hazel eyes were fixed on.

Now she needed time to unwind. _I wish I had a sparring partner though. _Arra thought to herself as she went throught steps of puches, ducks and rolls. Until she heard a voice.

"Out here alone?" That voice alone could have stopped her cold anytime.

Arra turned around and bowed. "Your Highness."

"Please do stop that. The formalities are . . . annoying. Call me Liam." He grinned showing perfect white teeth.

Arra, too, smiled at his dislike of formality, obviously inheirited by his parents.

"You seem a bit stressed."

"That would be an understatement." Arra answered raking her fingers through her hair.

"If there's something I know its that fighting by yourself releases stress slowly. How about a spar?" _An anwer to my prayers in much the wrong way._

But how could she just say no? "That would be nice, but your clothes seem a little, well to be blunt, they aren't exactly for sparring now are they?"

He looked down at his finery and smiled. "You're right. I'll be back in just a moment. I'll take it that you accept?"

Arra only nodded and smiled afraid to open her mouth fearing only a groan would be heard. The prince left and Arra was left to her thoughts. _Why him of all people? Do the gods hate me? There's something at work here I can almost smell it._

Liam returned shortly wearing breaches and a shirt. "Shall we begin?"

With that they started. They fought with nothing more than the body. Fists, feet, legs so on. They both dodged and threw punches and kicks. Arra stayed careful with her punches and kicks making sure her Shang trained instincts didn't make her go too far, turning a plain throw into a throw and a deadly punch. At one point, Liam grabbed her and threw her over his side. Arra quickly recovered and turned the throw into a roll and came back with Shang speed. He was on the groung within seconds.

"Well, let no one doubt you are a Shang." Was all he said then laughed.

She raised a brow. "You did?"

"No, well—everyone , you see--" Arra laughed at his struggle to find words.

"Don't worry about it I was only jesting." He smiled as Arra held out a hand for him so he could stand. "Call me Arra."

They sparred a couple more times each time ending at the first one did. Though he took each fall and loss he took gracefully. A humorous comment on his lips. Arra founding herself liking the prince more and more. He was so . . . how to put it? Real. That was the only word that came to mind. She'd met princes and princesses that could host a ball with over three hundred people there, but failed to be able to hold an intelligent conversation.

"How about we do this again?" Liam asked as they took a break in the cold looking up at the stars. Though neither felt cold because of the exercise.

"Sounds good. I may need to unwind after all of the pleases and thank yous and flower talk." Arra said.

"Flower talk?" Liam questioned.

"Yes flower talk. You know, when people talk about nothing in particular. Just about the weather or say something like 'How are your children doing' Bleh. It all tugs at me. Its just too . . . fake. Though people talk like that to avoid tender areas of talk I understand, like ones personal beliefs and so on." She paused. "I'm rambling."

Liam laughed at that. "Yes, but it was all very interesting. You are insightful."

"Well I guess I'd better be off then." Arra said right before she yawned and stretched.

"Wait." He said, though he couldn't find a reason as to why he had said it. But she didn't move for it had sounded like a command. Liam finally let her leave with a lame excuse. Why did he have the urge to spend more time with her?

As she walked away she realized something. She had let him in. Instead of the wall she had wanted she had let him be, well if not a friend then an accquaintance. She sighed._ A mistake on my part. _She thought angrily. The prince had charm. Arra growled. _I'm an idiot! Look what I've started. It would have been better had I stayed as far away from him as possible._

_What harm could come from talking and spars? Its not like he's courting me. I'll be fine. I've made myself unfit for a prince over the years. I'm a Shang and a commoner._ She tried to assure herself but she didn't feel at all comforted. Instead the memory of the old woman's cackle flitted through her mind.

It seemed to mock her and say. "Your caught."

**x..:..x**

A/N: Please don't hate me for this chapter. But Please Review. I appreciate it I really do.

**Clair-a-net: **Ouch. Sorry if the other one seemed like a teaser. And I'm sorry if you think this one is too . . . I really am. And as for your question. why does she resist her fate so much? One word. Influence. It might not make sense now but give it a couple chapters. If your still confused in a few chapters just tell me and I'll try to clear it up. (I think it's like chapter seven.)

Elfsquire90, Clair-a-net, On top of cloud 9 ,piglet12345, ladyknight257, Swapneshwari, elen, warrior of tortall. Thanks All of you who reviewed!


	5. The last midwinter spar

A/N: I'm kinda sleepy today. Just got done playin' guild wars. It's pretty cool. But I think I might have ADD cuz I got tired with it pretty fast. Oh well, maybe I'll play it tomorrow. Did I spell tomorrow right? I don't know. Well I updated because—do you guys really need a reason for me to update? You'll be happy there's a new chapter . . . or won't, I don't know. Either way I'll tell you. I'm going to my lakehouse today and I don't know when I'll be back so, why not post this now? That was my thinking. So here you go. Have fun. Review. Eat cheese. Or whatever you like, personally I like ramen.

Sorry for the rambling.

Disclaimer: You know the drill. This is not mine. Things you don't recognize are.

**x..:..x**

Liam was in his rooms changing into clothes that better served for sparring with Arra. He thought about her often. Her wavy dark sun-bronzed hair, clear crystal blue eyes and soft pink lips. She was more beautiful than most of the court ladies or princesses he had met. But who had ever heard of an actual relationship with a Shang? Sure, they no doubt have _been_ with people but did Shangs ever marry?

She was thin, but even then it was muscle. (He knew that well enough.) But it was not the kind of muscle that was found in the male Shang. She used her body more as leverage if she ever needed to throw somebody but usually she used other methods of beating someone. Now that he thought about it, she reminded him of a whip. Thin, flexible, and a fast strike.

He shrugged. Then he heard Lachran's voice in his head. _"Sounds like someone's attracted."_

Liam hadn't wanted to admit it in the least. But how could someone deny any kind of attraction to a beautiful woman? In fact, how could someone _not_ be attracted?

There wasn't just physical attraction though, if it were that alone then there'd be nothing. Physical attraction was partly set off by the fact that she was a Shang. The only way you'd get close to her was if she wanted you to.

The only way you'd be able to kiss her is if she wanted you to. That would make things difficult.

So there was attraction there, so what? He had had the privelige to get to know her over the last few of nights. It was amazing not only did she have looks but she wasn't, what was the word she had used? Ah, fake. She wasn't fake. It was the only way he could describe it. Also another trait that seperated her from the court ladies that chased him. Giggles and smiles most of _them_.

Liam sighed and walked out to meet Arra.

Arra waited out under the stars in the cold outdoors as she usually did. It was the last day of the Midwinter suppers and she was relieved. One, because there were no more formal dinners to go to and two, because Liam would probably be leaving.

A part of her knew she would miss him but the part that had always feared being tied down by some fate was beyond relieved.

Liam came as he usually did, smiling and waving to her. She smiled in response.

They started the spar quickly. They puched, ducked, and dodged jumped and rolled._He's gotten much better from the first bout we had._ In her momentary though she found herself trapped in the circle of Liam's arms. _Caught. _She thought. Arra assumed he would let her go and they would start another. But instead he held her there for a while. His breath was warm and he was getting closer to her. She was starting to get a little testy.

She decided to duck out of his arms and the went low and spun with her leg out, successfully knocking the prince down. She smiled hoping he wouldn't notice pink tinge on her cheeks as a blush, "You took too long." He smiled sheepishly and accepted her help to stand.

"I believe that makes it the one billionth time you've knocked me down." He laughed and Arra joined him.

"Yes, we should have a celebration."

He sighed. "I forget why I torture myself."

Arra shrugged. "Are you leaving after today with your knightmaster?"

Liam shook his head. "No, he wants to stay close for my last year as a squire." _Does the world hate me or just the gods? This is going to be a tough year. _She looked up to Liam who was taller than her by a three quartes of a head._ Maybe it won't be so bad. We're friends, nothing more._

They parted and took seperate ways. Arra was about to walk into her quarters when an old woman's voice stopped her. "The gods don't hate you, dearie."

She recognized that voice immediately. "Where are you? You old Seer!" The only response was a cackle. "You ruined my life you know!"

"No, I didn't. You changed your own life to make it different. But that doesn't matter because everything will fall into place." The voice turned into an echo. "Your falling for him." Then the voice vanished.

_How did she find me? What if she tells my parents where I am? No, they won't find me. _"Falling for him?" She squeaked.

Arra fell into a troubled sleep. Though after that night she was kept too busy to think about the old woman. Or maybe she forced herself to not think by keeping busy.

Months passed. Liam came and questioned her every so often visiting and talking nicely. It all made her edgy and aware. She woke the one morning in June barely remembering that she was leaving with the pages to have an 'outing' into the Royal Forest.. The one they apparently had every year for the pages. Today was the free day given to them to ready themselves.

_Good,_ Arra thought,_ I'll have time away from Liam._

She packed everything she might need but that wasn't too much because most of it was what she carried with her normally. Arra then set out to find Ghost. She found the stablehands readying her as well as other horses for the ride tommorrow, all except the pages of course for they were to care to their own mounts. Arra shooed them away from her own mare insisting she would care for it herself.

Ghost understood they were readying to leave. Arra smiled and told her quietly. "Don't worry, we'll be coming back. We aren't leaving this place for good, not yet anyways." The white mare flicked her tale in response and huffed. Arra looked to her saddle. No one had touched it since the last time she had. She laughed quietly to herself at that. She had made the saddle special, buying a nice saddle then making adjustments herself to make it fit her body perfectly. It looked different, and it was, but it worked well for her.

_They probably didn't touch it because it looks different. They didn't know if it should be treated differently either, so they played it safe and left it be. _Arra thought before she took it down and cleaned it.

The rest of the day she wandered around a bit. Helping here and there with things, speaking to some of the pages and even some squires. Lord Padraid also informed her sometime during the day that the female pages would be under her care for most of the time unless there was teaching to be done. Sleeping and such. But, this being the first amount of free time in months, the whole day her thoughts were fixed mainly on the old woman from the months before.

Who was she? Of course, it was the old woman from when she was younger but she had been careful not to be found. Even used some magic to hide certain features of her face that might reveal her as any kind of noble, covering things such as the high elegant cheekbones she inheirited from her mother and making her looks more dull._ Perhaps I didn't put enough magic on though._ Arra thought remembering one person had said she had looks, and another saying she had beauty similar to Queen Thayet's. Poppycock of course, no one had looks to match those. Thought it _was_ true Arra didn't use too much to cover her looks, too much would be noticed faster than a little would.

So how had the old woman found her? And more still, what did she want? What was she? Surely not human or Arra would have seen her that night. A god? But gods were never so straightforward in what they asked, or so she heard.

_Plenty to ponder. Plenty to ponder._ Arra thought watching the sun set in an array of colors then headed to her room.

**x..:..x**

A/N: I'm sorry this is so short. Please forgive me. I'm also sorry that . . . it's really boring. Let's just call this a filler chapter. Something to get on to the next one, eh? I'm pretty sure you'll find the next one a little more interesting . . .

though I'm not willing to give any secrets. Want the next chapter out fast? REVIEWING is the key! SO please review! Thank you!

P.S.: I've already written the next few chapters so I'll start working on the length thing from that point. But for the chapters that are already written they end at the point I want them too. If I make them any longer it just might interfere with another chapter. And if I over-explain everything that gets a bit boring and your reading the same chapter with the same amount of information. I'm not telling you guys to stop saying 'make them longer' cuz lord knows I might forget to if you stop. I'm just informing you. Being informed has always been on of my unfulfilled dreams. (my parents don't tell me anything till last minute. )

_**'oh! Did we forget to tell you we're going to China today?'**_

_**why, i never heard.' **_

_**you do now!**_

**_Geez!_**. Sorry for the dramatization. It was a little over exaggerated but you get the picture. I've been very talkative today.

**Clair-a-net-** No, no. You weren't being mean. No worries. I'm glad your enthusiastic!

**On top of cloud 9-** Why, thank you.

**Piglet12345-** Personally, I would have listened too. I'm very vain when it comes to people talking about me. If they even say my name I interrogate them till they spill. But as to the reason she didn't, if he had said 'yes i like her' it would have been too much to handle. If there's someone I don't like, I don't want to know they like me!

**Ladyknight257-** I have never had someone say my writing was good. Except for my mother but she doesn't count. Thank you, it really does encourage me to continue when I get reviews like that. I better not get to thinking I can _actually_ write well or else I'll get overconfident in myself. Lol.


	6. Pages Outing

A/N: Aahhhh! Frustration much? I've tried to write this chapter twice already and both times my computer shut down. The first time though I had this chapter finished . . . and like the next five after that. So if this chapter is written badly I apologize.

Once again! I had everything ready. I had all of the reviews answered and checked all spelling or gramtical errors. Etc. when my computer completely restarted. And I don't have Word so pretty much I lost everything. And I was working on chapter ten while fixing up this one. I was soooo angry cuz I lost most of chapter ten that I almost gave up on this story completely. Seriously that's how frustrated I was. (I have a bit of trouble controlling my anger). But then I remembered that whenever I rewrite a chapter it usually turns out better than the last one anyways. Sorry for the rant but I needed to vent.

Disclaimer: Don't own. If you don't recongize it from the books though . . . well then I do.

**x..:..x**

Her horse, ready and packed before everyone else's, was starting to become restless. Ghost flicked her tail while shifting feet and looking this way and that. Arra came close and sighed. Finally, "Okay, lets go." She placed three fingers on the under side of the mare's chin leading her out by that simple touch.

On her way out someone stopped her. "Uh, miss, did you lose your reins and bridle? I'm sure I could find some extras somewhere. . ."

Arra smiled. "No, I've everything I need. Thank you anyways."

Arra jumped onto the saddle and felt Ghost relax under her. She eased up on the saddle and sqeezed her legs just a bit signalling Ghost into a trot just to warm her up and make her less fidgety.

"That's a pretty way to ride." Ghost spun to see the speaker at Arra's command. Arra akwardly bowed in her saddle.

"Queen Thayet." She said smiling to let the queen know the jest behind the formality.

"Where did you learn to ride like that?"

Arra thought for a moment. "When my teacher was teaching us how to use bows while riding I found it difficult trying to control the horse and actually shooting. So everynight I would take Ghost with me and eventually I came up with . . .this."

Thayet looked up towards her. "I'd love to learn."

"At the risk of sounding rude, if you remind me I'll try to teach you." Arra grinned.

The older woman's face broke out into a grin also. "I will be sure to do that. And before you have to go I've one more question." Arra nodded for her to proceed. "This mare is much larger than the ones I've seen. Is she a special breed?"

"Hm. I guess. She's, ah--" _Should I tell her? How much could it hurt?_ "She's a Karucian horse. A very large breed from . . .well, Karucia."

"Are they all this large?"

"The males are a bit larger." Arra noticed the procession of pages getting together. "I see that it's time for me to go. We had a lovely conversation Queen Thayet."

"Indeed." The raven-haired queen said before Arra rode off, thinking.

Karucia. She hadn't said the name in years. It felt almost odd on her tongue and yet still familiar. Karucia was the penninsula that jutted off of Scanra and came behind the Yamani Islands. And it . . . it was also where—_nope. Not gonna even think about it. I've done well enough without it. I don't need the thought now._

Just as the group was about to leave one person came riding to catch up with them. Arra looked back and couldn't stop her jaw dropping in disbelief. _Why is he coming! Something, something is most definetly at work here. A pages outing and a squire is coming? And where is his knightmaster? _She snapped forward again. Maybe it wasn't what she thought it was. A trick of the eyes perhaps, or maybe he was giving a message to the training master--

Liam slowed down just a bit and waved, then continued to ride to the front of the column to the training master. Arra focused her crystal blue eyes at the front trying to figure out what was going on but all she could see was talking and gesturing.

"Being nosey?" Arra found Hakuin talking to her with a suspicious glint in his eye.

She sighed. "Trying to be less confused is all."

The Shang Horse shrugged. "You get used to confusing things. Things that normally wouldn't happen in other kingdoms will almost certainly happen here."

Arra only smiled.

He looked at her speculatively. "I don't think your like other Shang."

A series of fears rose in a whirlwind. Did he know something? Arra pushed them down and somehow asked. "How so?"

He shrugged. "A Shang as young as yourself is willing to stay in one place? Even Eda, who had this job previous to you and was much older still had the Itch."

Ah, yes, the Itch as it was called by many. "No, I want to leave, but at the moment I can't." She thought about what her Gift could do and cringed. _After this is all done I'm leaving. First chance I get. _She missed being able to fight all out. With Liam or the pages she had to be careful. Like putting a cork on a sharp end to make it safer. Part of her worried she was getting rusty.

He nodded in understanding. Then smirked. "I'll be off and leave you to the Prince."

_Prince?_ Confusion no doubt inhabited her face. Until one voice cleared it up. "Hello Arra."

"Prince Liam." She acknowledged.

He shook his head lightly making his black hair fall into his hazel eyes. "How many times have I told you to call me Liam?"

She shrugged. "Enough for anyone to get the idea I suppose. Your family is known for being so informal." Grinning she continued. "I never realized how much fun it would be to be formal."

Liam scowled causing laughter from Arra. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to be reminded you were royalty everyday."

Arra stopped laughing because of the sudden lump in her throat. "True enough." She croaked and nudged her horse forward to escape his eyes, leaving behind a bewildered prince.

"What did I do?" He mumbled to himself. He had been sure she would've said something along the lines of 'ah, but I am lucky because I am nothing but a lowly commoner.' with that infectuous grin on her beautiful face.

_You complete idiot! Way to raise suspicions! Is that really what you wanted? _Arra silently berated herself for such behavior glaring at Ghost's mane. She stayed like that, keeping to her thoughts, unless someone questioned her particularly.

When they stopped for the night, Arra decided to take a walk. Just a short one while one of the older pages had to cook for everyone and the younger ones were taught certain survival techniques. Was she supposed to be acting as one of the teachers? She shrugged, she hadn't done this enough to know what they were doing though apparently they went to a different area in the Royal Forest every year.

Arra rubbed her temples. She'd never traveled in a group as large as this. When she had traveled in the past year it had been alone and the only person she watched out for was herself. And then, it was more like two years counting the year before that when a Shang is supposed to wander after their ordeal before they can get their name. Arra was snapped out of her thoughts when she noticed her feet had stopped moving and yet there was still the crunching sound of twigs and leaves. She spun into a fighting position only to find Liam behind her.

Her tense muscles eased out of ready position.

"I'm sorry. I only came to apologize. I don't know what I did but I'm sorry." He paused for a moment then moved in quickly. He kissed her cheek then walked away avoiding her eyes.

Arra swallowed and watched his form disappear behind the shrubbery. He had just apologized in some form three times in one sentence. She shifted her shocked body. When she moved her fingers she found something in them. It was a delicate purple tinged flower.

She knew she hadn't picked flowers while here. So when had he put the flower in her hand? She touched her cheek softly. _Now where did that come from?_ She dropped the flower to the ground. _It might not be good to keep that, he could keep it as a sign of . . .something._

That night Arra curled up into her blanket to keep out the raw weather; they weren't making permanent camp here so she felt no real need to get out permanent sleeping things.

The next morning when everyone else awoke Arra lay in a deep slumber impervious to it all around her. Well, to everyone it seemed as if she was sleeping. But when the Fates want you they'll take you.

Her heartbeat became a shallow sound bringing worry to the people around her.

**x..:..x**

A/N: oh my, my, my. Was that a cliffhanger? I think it was and if I remember correctly, I think this is the worst one I've put on fanfiction for this story yet. You want the next chapter out fast? REVIEW!

P.S. : Bonus points to whoever can guess where I got the riding idea from. . . I'll put it in the next quiz(hint: its from one of my favorite books on my bio.) . And if you need me to explain it better I'll try. And for further information this is after the war with Scanra. Hence, Fianola being in third year. That's it! **REVIEW!** por favor.

**On top of cloud 9-** Fall in love with Liam? I'm sorry, but that's classified information. Muahahaha! But seriously you'll just have to see. . .Dun dun dun! As the story unfolds!

**knighted lioness-** I feel honored you read my story though it is out of character for you to do so. I know I said I'd have this out on wednesday but I decided to put it up on tuesday.

**Clair-a-net-** Ah, yes. It would make sense _if_ she was the Old Hag. But if you go back to my summary you'll see that I capitalized everything I wanted to. (I don't think I'd get that hint if someone gave it to me. Lol.) But no worries you'll find out in . . . the very next chapter.

**Memily89- **thank you.I'll continue to write as long as you contiue to read and review. :)

**Tidsmagi-** I really am sorry if my crazy ranting confused you. Please except my most humble apologies and please continue to read!

**Piglet12345- **Yes,and Liam does it all just to be around her. No I never thought you were unenthusiastic. The fact that you reviewed at all is very nice. I love reviews.Their like an addictive drug. But I would never restort to 'If I don't get 10 reviews I won't update!' plus I don't have enough confidence anyone would want to read the next chapter that badly. Lol.

**Ladyknight257- **Thankyou. I think your positive-ness is very encouraging. Though to tell you the truth I haven't got a bad review yet. I never thought people would like the story line this much. Lol.


	7. Fate

A/N: I was almost tempted to call this chapter "Answers" because of how many questions will be answered because of it. Well, I thought I gave a good portion of the story line in this. Well, we hit 30 reviews! Lol. Most people are happy for a hundred. I'm happy with what I get.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this, except the things you don't recognize and the storyline. Other than that, it all belongs to Tamora Pierce.

**x..:..x**

"_Little Arra wake up." The voice was soft. She knew this woman. Arra remembered this voice. Looking at the scene before her, the woman shook the small lump under the covers. "Arra, you've got to wake up or they'll find us."_

_The small girl sat up and yawned. "Marina, where are we going?" Marina! Yes, that had been her name. _She was my maid, _Arra remembered. _

"_We've got to go. Your father is sending people to come take you back." Marina picked up the girl and ran out._

"_But where are we going?" The young Arra insisted._

_The maid looked at her deciding whether or not she should tell the young girl, though she had no doubt she would understand. This small girl understood things any other four year old should not. And Marina knew why, too. It was because of her Gift. The one that was handed down on her father's side, though it only showed up in the females._

"_We're going away." She said finally, not willing so say anymore. _

_Arra looked upon all this, feeling as if it were playing straight from her memories. _And then we went on a very long ride on one of the horses she stole to northern Maren. I didn't remember much because I fell asleep though. _In accordance to her thoughts the pictures flew by._

_Marina slid off the horse with Arra. The brown-haired maid held her out to the Shang. He looked her over and then signaled someone over to see if she had the Gift. When the man said she didn't he nodded his acceptance._

_Marina looked at the brown on white splotched mare. "Can she take the horse?" She asked the man. He, once again, nodded._

_She hugged the four year old. "Now, Semarra, you remember everything I told you. That's why I'm doing this. To help you and to save you. You remember that."_

What she told me. _Arra thought._ 'Prince's don't love. They lust.' Marina practically preached that to me._ Someone laughed pleasantly. And the picture fell away until only a grey landscape remained._

"_Who are you?" She asked._

"_Fate." A woman stepped out from the greyness. Long tresses of silver-blue hair fell around her oval face. Her voice sent an ache to her ears like a memory of pain and her eyes were bottomless pits. "I've brought you to my domain which is why you can see me in this form."_

"_F-Form? Fate?"_

_The stranger smiled. "Or would you rather see me as the old seer from the night you were going to your room?" She paused then added thoughtfully. "Though the one that came to see you when you were very young wasn't me. That was actually a seer."_

_Arra was at a loss for words._

_The Fate smiled. "Good. No words." She patted Arra's cheek. "Now lets see. You've been a tough one to get. We--"_

"_We?"_

"_Yes, my two sisters and I. We were forced to the extremes, we grabbed at the first glimpse of you."_

_For reasons unknow to her Arra felt rage build up inside of her. "Extremes? What kind of extremes?" Her voice was tight._

"_Lets just say it got you to Tortall which is a starter."_

"_YOU! You made me . . . explode." She finished sadly._

_The blue-haired fate sat in an invisible chair. "What many people don't understand is Fate is everything. Even for those who try to escape it. There are many roads traced out and every now and then it is up to people to choose which one to take. But the future for either road has already been figured out all that needs to be done is the decision: which road are they going to take?"_

"_Then why isn't my choice of life part of some fate also?"_

"_Every couple of centuries there are people born like Alanna the Lioness. They are the fulcrum. And on an even rarer occasion ther are people born like you. Like your Gift you are undetectable. Didn't you wonder why none of your father's great mages could find you by scrying?" She paused letting it all sink in._

"_Undetectable? Undetectable how?" Arra said slowly at least pretending this all made sense to her._

"_Like how other people are tied to either one path or another, this or that. You have the power to disregard our pre-made paths. You walk in between the paths. And as long as you walk between them we can't detect you."_

_Arra scowled. "Then how did you find me?"_

"_It's hard to explain. But we caught a glimpse of you. Putting it to the metaphor, it's kind of like you put just a toe on the path. We figured we wouldn't have another chance so we acted."_

"_Why are you telling me all of this? I thought some things even the gods do not know." _

"_That is true. There _are_ some things that the gods cannot see. But I am not a god. I am a Fate. We are on two different links. As a Fate we see all. We even know who the gods will choose as their vessels and tools." She laughed. "Yes, most of the time gods are easier to predict than mortals."_

"_A-and my fate?" Arra asked quietly._

_Something like annoyance or anger flitted across the bottomless pits of the Fate. "What your fate should have been or what it will have to be compromised to?" She didn't pause for an answer only went on. "It would've been simply to marry Prince Liam and by that simple act everything would have been kept in order."_

"_Simply? You call that simple? Marrying someone you don't even know?" The dark-haired girl stood her defiance._

"_Royalty do it everyday. And more often than not they fall in love too. Would you like to see how your life could have been?" The fate waved her hand and Arra fell into another picture like before except this one wasn't a memory._

_A girl with sun-bronzed hair stood looking out of a window. She wore a fawn colored dress with an over vest of darker brown and gold. The gown reached down to the ground as well as the vest though the front could be seen as a V on top and and upside down V below the clasp at her midriff. Thus was the fashion in Karucia. Arra then noticed who this young woman was, it was her. A version a bit older than herself though._

_Arms wrapped around the vision-Arra and soft lips came down on her neck. She turned around with surprise. "Liam!"_

_He grinned and kissed her again except this time on the lips. _

_There was a knock at the doors. "Princess! Princess Semarra it's time for dinner!" A voice called from the other side of the door._

_Liam broke the kiss a little sadly. "Come on Arra, we have to go." He grinned at her almost dazed expression._

_Arra stepped away from it all. This picture was too much. _

"_Have you seen enough?" The Fate's voice broke in again and the picture fell away._

"_That couldn't have been me! She's—she's--"_

"_She's happy. Can you say that your happy?"_

_Arra thought of everyday of her life. How not a second passed when she thought about having to get away. How she hadn't formed her life to be happy but soley to be away from what could have been. She came to her own conclusion. The only thing she felt was . . . miserable. But she wouldn't admit that. "Yes. I'm happy." She lied._

"_When? With who? Your friend Joel the Shang Hawk? Speaking of which, you broke his heart you know."_

_Tears stung her eyes. "You lie." she whispered._

_The Fate shook her head. "He loves you. He would have followed you but you left before he could. And that's just one life that was changed because of your choice."_

"_M-my choice? My maid took me away!"_

"_True. But your odd Gift gives you knowledge and awareness at a young age. You understood. And you could have gone back."_

"_How is changing one person's life destructive?" She asked speaking of Joel, though she felt bad for her friend. Though she inwardly she questioned herself. How could she say that she'd thought about going back? It had been a small flicker here and there. But she covered it up with saying to herself that if she left now it'd be like quitting Shang. She wouldn't be one to quit. And then, before she'd gotten her Name, she'd been thrown into all of this._

"_You didn't change just his life. Your own mother, she died of grief not six months later when they concluded they were never going to find you. Your father was forced to remarry because they had no heir. His new wife bore him a son and a daughter."_

"_Good! Now they have the male heir they wanted!"_

"_No. He has the Gift. The one that runs in your father's side of the family. Only the females are supposed to have this Gift. But because of the rift you've caused now it is in the hands of a male! Men do not understand the power of it. He will destroy your kindgom."_

"_My kingdom? Oh, no. That kingdom belongs to me just about as much as I belong to it. And I don't." Arra said, frustrated._

"_I'll give you some parting words." The Fate ingored her outburst. "You forget what your maid, Marina, told you. She was a fool who thought she loved your father. Give this Prince a chance. Accept his affections."_

_Arra cut her off with anger and resentment that had been incrypted into her system. "No. I promised myself long ago that I would never love a prince!"_

_The woman smiled wryly. "Normally, I would admire such stubbornness. But you are being the wrong kind! You are being stubborn not for your own beliefs but simply to go against what someone has said!" Suddenly she grew tall, hovering over her with a terrible booming voice. "YOU WILL OBEY. THE FATES DO NOT OFTEN INTERFERE DIRECTLY IN MORTAL AFFAIRS. YOU WILL DO AS YOUR TOLD UNLESS YOU WANT PEOPLE AROUND YOU TO DIE! YOUR HALF-BROTHER PLANS NOTHING BUT DESTRUCTION FOR KARUCIA AND WITH HIS POWER HE COULD NO DOUBT SUCCEED." Her voice became calm again. "We do not often forsee pain and misery for mortals. Nor do we take pleasure in seeing them in such a state. Do not forget my words."_

_The Fate put her hand on Arra's chest. "This is the mark I will give you so that I may find you." When she retracted her arm there was a silver handprint. "Goodbye for now."_

Arra woke up in a bed with her ears ringing. Suddenly, she burst into tears. She cried for Joel and the pain she'd caused him, for her mother who had loved her, for the mothering she would never receive from her.

Comforting arms enclosed around her and a warm, soft voice whispered sothing words into her ear. Though she didn't look up into the face, only clung to the body that was near. Not caring who it was, she cried and hung on.

**x..:..x**

A/N: Please Review! Tell me you hated it. Tell me you hate me for this chapter. Tell me that you might have liked it. Ask me anything and I'll try to answer (within reason, I won't answer a question like: How does it end? Does so-and so die? Etc. And if I do answer it would probably be through e-mail.). I'm just wondering—was anyone expecting something like this? Once more just to be thorough. PLEASE REVIEW!

Muahahaha. The next one, I think you'll like. There's a bit of a fight scene. And I think it's the longest one I've written so far. Lol. Which may not be that long once I put it on snippet: Arra noticed sweat on his forehead causing confusion in her mind. Sweat from what? "Um, ah. . . Arra, your going to have to take your shirt off."

Not the best quote I could have chosen but it'll do. BTW: a lot happens in the next chapter. Don't let it all confuse you too much. . . and I think the next one's a cliffhanger . . .

Yes, I got the riding from **'The Hero and the Crown**' and **'The Blue Sword'** by Robin McKinley. Hope no one hates me for borrowing it. I just love her books and wanted to incorporate something into this from them.

**On top of cloud 9-**wow. That's like deja-vu. I wrote that up there before I got your review. And the question does someone die . . . that's weird. Do you have ESP? Sorry. I can't tell you. I feel like a mean person. Like I'm always saying no.

**Swapneshwari-** Yay! You got it. Though if you've read the books its not hard. Yes. Cliffhangers suck. The way I answered that makes me sound like an ass. Don't take it the wrong way.

**Tidsmagi-** Wouldn't want to make you cry. If worst comes to worst you'll at least have up to chapter nine for this story. Though I'm gonna tell you right now, that's just barely getting into the story line.

**Elfsquire90-** Secret? Do you mean her past? To tell you the truth it's hard to answer a question like that. I'm standing on the other side. Sometimes I can forget that I know everything about Arra and this story and what's going to happen and unless I tell you, you guys don't. So for all I know you could be talking about a secret that I haven't even brought up yet. . .

**piglet12345- **No, I haven't yet said why Liam is on the trip. I'd love to say it's in the next chapter, but it's not. It's in the one after that. And someone _might_ have worried a wee bit more than the others . . . hehe.

**Clair-a-net-** Yes! You got the book. And as I said for Swapneshwari, it's not too hard to figure out when you've read the books. I'll be sure to check out the book you mentioned.

**Zerrin of the Wind-** Do you really think Nameless Shang is a good idea? I haven't found someone who's done it yet but that doesn't mean there isn't one out there. If there isn't, I'd be surprised. It _might_ have something to do with the old woman. . . (though since you've read the chapter you should know lol.)

**Jadepiper-** I don't put them up all at once for a couple of good reasons. 1: because i'd get less feedback, people don't usually review for every chapter when there's more after it. 2: having chapters in reserve gives me time to write more. If I fall to far behind I might just give up all together. (that's what happened with my last story) It usually takes me a couple days to write a new chapter but if I'm pressed for time I'd have a stress overload, for something I'm doing for fun. I don't mean to sound mean, I'm just giving you honest answers for your question.

**pineapples rok mi sox- **Muahaha! No just kidding. I'm glad you like my story. I took french in fifth grade, but I really really really hated the teacher. So I moved to spanish the next year. Lol.

I think starting next chapter I won't answer every review. Just the ones that ask questions. This is getting long.


	8. Me?

A/N: Haha. I took a line from 'what I like about you.' lol. Funny.

Disclaimer: My goodness. Lets make this simple. I'll write caveman. This. Not mine. No recognize? Mine.

**x..:..x**

Arra tried to regain compsure. Prying her own fingers from the cloth they so clung to. She wiped away her tears with her sleeve but had trouble controlling her shaky, uneven breath. "I need some water." She croaked, not really expecting anything to be done but more for her own assesment of her condition.

The girl closed her eyes, rubbing her temples and forcing her lungs to accept the air in deep calm breaths. When her clear blue eyes reopened water awaited her. She took a sip and mumbled, "Thank you."

"Your welcome." Came the expected response from an unexpected person.

"Liam?" Arra's shocked expression couldn't be hidden. "What are you doing here? Speaking of here where am I?"

He grinned, not bringing up the tears shed only moments ago. "I see you dropped the titles."

"I said so many other relevant things." She scowled.

"The morning of our first stop we couldn't wake you and some even thought you were dead. Your heartbeat had been so hard to hear. But eventually we found it. Lord Padraig asked me to bring you to the closest place around with a healer." Liam contnued on to answer her previously asked question. "So you're in a hut I found with some healer I've never met."

"And where is this healer?" Arra raised a brow, her melodious voice playing with the words.

"He said you were doing fine, perfectly healthy for all you weren't awake. So he went out hunting with the three pages they sent along with me." His voice turned bitter at the end of his statement. "Three pages! Like I can't take care of myself! I'm a squire!"

"Yes, yes. You'r a squire and almost a knight. How long was I out?"

"The rest of the day and through then night. Its almost dawn now."

"They went out hunting this early?" She inquired.

"The man said it was the best time to go." Liam shrugged. Then he looked at her closely squinting his eyes to be sure of what he saw. "You look different. I can't quite place it though, you sound different too."

Arra, quickly realizing that of which he spoke, jumped out of the bed cursing. "Is Ghost here?"

"Couldn't stop her from following, why?"

Arra didn't answer as she lunged out of the room with a burst of speed. As soon as her feet left the housing her faithful mare stood before her ready to meet her. Arra searched her packs until she found the small mirror she kept. She frowned deeply at what she found. Her high elegant cheek bones could be perfectly seen and her eyes shone with an almost too bright clarity. And if her voice did sound different that meant the spells on her vocal cords had also been done away with. _That's what happens when I don't reaply them for at least twelve hours._

Arra spun to face the prince. "You tell no one you saw me like this. They may already know I put spells on my face but they don't have to know why."

He reached out his hand to touch her cheek. "But why? Your --"

"Nothing." She finished slapping away his hand without a second thought. Arra then proceded to ingore the pressure pulse through her head as the cracked voice of the old Fate echoed around her mind. _Accept._

Arra spent another small amount of time reaplying the spells. They were more for shielding how much people could she or hear rather than changing anything.

Digging into her packs again she found something to munch on which would hold her until other food could be produced. She offered some to Liam who accepted gratefully. The sun was rising over the horizon, hardly seen through the many trees when someone came stumbling through the forest. He sported many cuts and forming bruises, on particularly deep gash was the most worrisom.

"Temann!" Liam said.

"Who?"

"The healer." Liam managed to say before he ran to the man's help.

The man's words were hard to hear but couldn't be misconstrued. "No, I can deal with these wounds they are all within my reach. The three pages you brought with you --" He coughed, a horrid racking sound. "They got them."

"Did they follow you?" Arra questioned taking 'them' as something not so good.

The healer turned and met her eyes he smiled weakly. "Your awake. No they didn't follow. I don't know why though."

Arra thought for a moment. "It's because their baiting us."

Liam and Arra settled Temann into the bedsheets with the best possible combination of care and speed. They mounted and rode off in the direction he had come from with unbridled haste. "Liam do you have your weapons?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"What about you?"

She smirked. "Don't need them. I haven't had nearly enough practice. This should prove interesting."

Liam frowned only a bit wishing he had the luxury of such a solid words. Though he wasn't nearly dumb enough to run into battle without any weapons when his skills at hand to hand weren't top notch. Arra held up a hand for a halt.

"This should be a good area to put the horses. If we want to get close we've got to leave them behind." She said sliding down from her own mount.

"Are you going to tie her?"

She shook her head. "Not neccesary. She'll stay." He didn't question just acted as he clipped his sword into place and tethered his own horse. They wasted no time in continuing the search. Arra found a trail of blood that was probably made by Temann. She followed it until it pooled in a certain area. _They've got to be close. If only one of them would give us a hint . . . something._

In answer to her silent prayer a muffled cross between a scream and groan was hear from not too far away, it sounded like a voice she knew. One of the pages. Noticing Liam's neccesity to act at that moment she grabbed his arm and shook her head no.

"We need to do this carefully. We don't know how many there are." They snuck up and found the campsite. A total of six men she counted, then there was the matter of the three pages. Two male pages and one female. She studied the five men calculating in her head if she could take them all at once. Two of them were smaller but the other three were much larger than she was. Liam noticing a certain look in her eye looked at her sharply.

"You are not taking them alone. I'm here and I can help." He whispered. Arra was snapped out of her thoughts. Whispering in response she spoke.

"But we need one of us to let them go. Things will go smoother if we untie them first. They can also fight. Let me hold them off until you untie them. Then join. Make sure they have some kind of weapon." His look spoke volumes but she ignored the dislike. "Go around to the opposite side of their camp and try to untie them without being noticed. I'll pull the focus away. Give me some sign when you get there."

They agreed and split. Arra listened carefully to the conversation.

"Why did we take _them_? I don't understand." One of the thin ones asked.

"For fun. Remember our real goal is the other girl." A big one said showing all of his rotten teeth in a grin.

_Other girl? _The thought was cut short when Liam signaled from the opposite side. _Time to act._ She pulled out a concealed dagger and found her target. A man standing farther away from the main camp. Arra aimed and threw it hitting her target in the intended area. His sounds of pain attracted the other men. When they found him he was writhing on the floor trying desperately to reach for the hilt in his shoulder blade.

"Oi, are you alright?" Before she moved she nodded to Liam. Then climbed a tree close to where they clustered. Looking down she assesed the situation. _Six men. One down for now. Five to worry about. All larger than me. This should be fun._

"What happened?"

"I don't know!" The man shrieked. "Just help me!"

But they had not time to comply because Arra came out of the tree upon them in a flash of intense fury. Upon her fall to the ground, she tripped one man then, in the same movement, kicked another in the temple effectively placing him into a vegetative state.

_Four._

After the initial shock one man was the first to regain composure. The knife he held slashed with trained hands at their command. With deadly accuracy she dodged the blade till the right moment then snatched his arm from mid-strike. Arra twisted his arm till his hold loosed then spun to gain momentum and with a down and up strike stabbed him in the chest. The blade sunk till it hit the heart.

_Three. No, where's the third one?_

But Arra's time for such thoughts was limited as two men loomed. The one who had fallen first was up now. But where was the third one? The next man took care but when faced with a Shang there is little you can do. Arra fell into another round of punches and kicks._ I need one to question. This one will do. _Arra thought. She tapped his shin in between the major hits and dodges then tapped his shoulder for distraction purposes. She took her chance. Arra's elbow flew up and hit his jaw sideways in his moment of disorient she jumped. Remembering how her teacher said she would never be able to perform this move because of her size she smiled. She had improvised.

Her knee came down first on his chest then, not a split second in between movements, her elbow hit and the final blow with her fist. The man sputtered and fell to the ground in a shellshocked heap. _Two, but where did the other one go? _Not wasting time she spun ready for the last man but found Liam already ingaged with him. _No wonder there was no interferance._ With a jolt she remembered the last person who had gotten away. Arra ran back to check on her charges.

A yell of fury sounded behind her.

"Arra watch out!" It was the page Fianola.

Arra had no time to spin and face the danger behind her instead she tried to anticipate where the blow would land. But it came into contact with her anyways though because of her movements it landed a bit lower than intended. The pain seared but she didn't cry out only clenched her teeth.

"That's payback wench."

Arra had had enough. She punched then spin kicked him to the ground face first. In his back protruded the blade she had first thrown._ Then this isn't the one who's missing. Where is he?_

"Are you all alright?" Arra asked in a strained voice.

The three pages nodded with a mumbled 'yes'. Each held a spear or sword they must have found. Arra fell to her knees. "Can one of you pull this blasted blade out?" The pages looked at each other unsure of what to do.

"Hold still." Liam's voice, breathy with his fight.

Arra forced her body to be realaxed as to not clench the blade which could result in cutting more muscles than was neccesary and also more pain. Liam placed his warm hand on her upper back, clutched the blade tightly and pulled as fast as possible. More blood spilled onto her shirt and down her backside. She gasped but stood back up.

"Thank you." Arra closed her eyes took one deep breath then reopened them. "One got away. I don't know where he went. But at the moment I want some answers." She turned to go back to the one she'd left behind. They watched her walk away with the same question in mind. 'How can she still be walking as calmly as she is?'

"Wha-what did you do to me!" He yelled. He was in the same position she'd left him.

"I wouldn't try to move too much you might kill yourself, literally." Arra advised. "All of your ribs are broken. Now I want answers or I will have no mercy."

"They'll be angry. Gods, they'll be angry." He rambled.

"Who were you trying to get?"

"They never told us you were a Shang."

Arra cursed at her nonexistant progress. Liam intervened. "Why did you take our pages?"

"Feran, will tell them. You didn't get him. We were only after one person. "

"Who!" Arra said frustrated.

"You." In attempt to get up he spasmed and died.

"Me?" Arra was confused. "Why?" She whispered. She shook her head. Now was not the time to think about that.

"We have to leave." Liam stated. "Now."

"Do you know where your horses are?" Arra asked.

One page spoke up. "They took them over there." He said pointing to the opposite side of their camp.

"Go get them and meet us behind that brush." Liam said.

They obeyed and Arra leaned against a tree and cursed.

"What is the problem?"

The Shang girl rubbed her eyes. "If my teacher would have seen that I would be doing extra work for weeks. In a fight against six men. I let one get away and another wound me." She cursed again.

The prince could only stare. "You also took down four of them singlehandedly. Your still standing even though you have a deep gash in your back. On normal standards your doing pretty well for seventeen."

Arra smiled at his attempt to raise her spirits. "I think we can all agree, Shang are never on normal standards." He laughed and Arra noticed his face was too pale. When he turned to walk to the meeting place she frowned a bit. There was no reason she knew of for him to be that sickly pale.

The pages awaited them when they arrived.Arra named them off in her head just to be sure she knew them. The first she already knew, the female page Fianola. One had light brown hair and coal black eyes. _Fourth year page, Edmund._ The next one was a Bazhir third year with defined features. _I think his name was . . .Semrak._

Mounting, they rode for a while getting in a good distance until Arra's head fell against Ghost's neck the wound becoming a heavy throb on her back.Liam was the first to notice. "Stop." his voice commanding. "We're stopping here."

Arra shook her head. "No, we've got to keep going."

Liam shook his head, hazel eyes determined. _His paleness still troubles me._ "We're going to get your wounds tended to. And if anyone else had any we'll see to them also." The dark-haired prince stared at the blood sluggishly oozing down her backside, staining her mare red. "You." He pointed to Semrak. "Get a fire going. And you--" He motioned Edmund. "--we're going to be setting up camp here find some kind of water supply--" There was no one left but Fianola. "--get plenty of wood for the fire." Everyone went to work at the prince's command.

"Come down Arra."

"No."

"Arra, come down. That's a command."

"I don't belong to your country your commands mean nothing to me."

He darkened at her stubborness. Carefully he reached up and slid her off the saddle, hands at her waist. Pulling her off her head lulled against him. "Sorry." She murmured. "I can stand. I think I have some ointment or balm in my packs." He made sure she had a firm hold against a tree before she helped direct him in the right packs.

He settled her down with gauze and ointment in his hands. Arra noticed sweat on his forehead causing confusion in her mind. Sweat from what? "Um, ah. . . Arra, your going to have to take your shirt off."

She nodded in understanding trying to stay calm. It made sense she had to take her shirt off. The dagger wound was high up enough on her back that trying to uncover just that area would be hard. She shifted uncomfortably ignoring the pain from the bloody injury. She took off her shirt and surprised herself with how much blood painted it.

He cleaned her back to the best of his ability. Liam's eyesight started to blur and he swayed. The prince shook his head to rid himself of it and put the ointment on as Arra cringed and fought not to writh away. He swayed again, keeping his eyes open suddenly becoming a task. Liam pressed gauze to Arra's back and with the bandages he began to wrap it around her. Black leaked into his eyesight again. Lethargically, he wrapped the bandage around her once.

Arra could feel something was not right. Why was he moving so slowly. His arm came around in front of her with the bandage then suddenly it just fell into her lap. Liam's forehead fell against her back. She panicked when she realized he was burning hot. _What happened?_

**x..:..x**

A/N: Yup, it's a cliffy. And I know you peeps hate 'em. But this chapter was getting long. I think the next one is a bit shorter. Lots happened in this chapter! Wow. She goes from waking up. . . straight to wounded. And, to be honest, I seriously didn't think the last one was a cliffhanger. Sorry 'bout that.

Well guys I'd love to answer all of your reviews but that alone takes up another page and it could get misleading when you looking at the chapter thinking 'hey this one's pretty long!' then you read it and find out it isn't long, most of it is review answers. So unless there is a question that wasn't answered in the chapter I won't be writing them anymore. (Like those that wanted to know if it was Liam. . . . well I don't have to answer that now do I? Lol.)

So unless no one cares about the length problem I could do it next chapter, but other than that I won't be. Sorry guys.

**Please read:** I had a bit of writer's block for chapter ten. I finished it (In the middle of the night. I have the best inspiration at like one in the morning) but as you can now see, I'm currently on chapter eleven and doing the math you can see that it is only three chapters away from this one. Meaning if I want to stay ahead of you readers I need time, so the next chapter (9) won't be out for at least a week, I think. Let's just go with 6-8 days, that's when the next one will be out. Maybe later if there are no reviews. . . (Hint hint) So PLEASE REVIEW!


	9. To fight

A: You guys are waaaaay to smart for me. If these chapters weren't already prewritten I'd change them just so you wouldn't be able to guess what happens. Lol. Though, I don't think you're ready for the surprise I have hidden in this chapter . . . and then again maybe you are.

With that last chapter I hit over 700 hits and 50 reviews. Hehe. That's flippin' sweet. (I'm sorry to all of the napolean dynamite fans but . . . I hate that movie. I swear it dropped my IQ. I don't have enough to waste! I'm dumb enough as it is!)

Disclaimer: Dude, I am so ready to just refer you back to the last chapter. You can't put it anymore simple. I do not own this. I've come to terms with that. But the stuff you don't recognize belongs to me, meaning you cannot steal!

**x..:..x**

"L-Liam? Highness? Please tell me your all right." Arra pleaded hoping he would listen but he didn't move and his breathing sounded to shallow and forced. From his forehead against her back she could tell he was an unnatural temperature. But she couldn't move. What if it only worsened whatever condition he was presently in?

Fianola walked by carrying a good amount of wood. Arra noticed this. "Fianola! Come here quickly!" She set down her bundle and complied. When she saw her prince she tried to help him first.

"What happened to him?"

"Look, pay attention. You have to do one thing at a time. Finish wrapping this up so we can get it over with then we'll see to Liam. Do one thing at a time and things will go better for it." Arra said as calmly as she could to make the olive-skinned girl understand. She nodded. "Now set him against this tree here. That's it. And quickly finish the wrappings." Fianola wrapped almost too quickly dropping it several times. "Calm down. It's all right. If you do it wrong I'll have if fixed later."

With that all done Arra donned a new shirt and got out her own bedding she used to camp, quickly forgetting the pain in her back with the problem at hand and suddenly more alert than before. She laid it out and when Edmund came back asked him to help her place the unconscious prince on it. After they settled him down she asked him. "Did you find water?"

"Yes, a fairly strong stream. We could even fish from it."

"Good, get some. He's too warm." She checked his temperature and was surprised with another revelation. "No, no. Now he's freezing." They didn't move him again though. Instead they built the fire just so close to him as to not get burned. Arra searched his body and found no wounds. Looking one last time over she found his sleeve torn and bloody. _Now how did I skip over that? _"Do any of you have a healing Gift?"

They paused the fire-making and looked at each other until Edmund spoke up. "I have a bit of the Sight, miss."

"Forget the miss, just call me Arra. What can you See?" She asked quickly.

"I can see when magic is being worked, though I cannot tell who's, and I can see poison. That is all." _Magic or poison. It's worth a try and this doesn't seem a very horrible wound to be causing him a faint. _

"Can you use it on Prince Liam? Just to check there's no foul play?" Arra asked almost earnestly. Edmund nodded and got to work. He studied the royalty's arm, his eyes focused.

"It's poison."

Arra cursed. The shallow cut on his arm contained poison that could very well be spreading through his system._ Poison. They said they were after me. This isn't the first time I've encountered poison since I entered Tortall._ "I've got something in my packs for general poison but if this kind has side effects I won't be able to do anything." She sighed as she pulled it out and showed it to them each. "I guess since your away from the main group you better get_ some _learning in. This is made out of a roots of the Imao plant." Arra worked on rubbing it into the shallow slash on his forearm.

"Does anyone know the properties of the Imao plant?"

Semrak was the first to answer. "It can act like acid in the right form."

"True. That is the leaves. The whole plant has some of that property but the roots ar duller and won't burn through anything. When they are mixed with simple tea leaves they somehow stop becoming so acidic. Instead it scourges the poison in ones system." Arra finished by wrapping his arm. She sighed. "That's all I can do for now. In the morning we'll take him back to the palace. "

"Why not now?" Fianola asked.

"Because we aren't too sure how we'll fare now with the sun setting and how far away are we? A day? To add to that he's unconscious; another burden. If he's awake in the morning, good, and if he's not we've still got no other choice. And . . . he's freezing. The temperature's already dropping. If we ride we can't be sure how warm he'll be able to stay." Arra answered the question swiftly.

Suddenly she smiled. "So who's going to be making dinner for us tonight?"

Fianola ended up having to make it. But the only thing they had supplies to make was jerky and cheese. They boiled the jerky to make it softer and nibbled the cheese. Arra stared into the fire. What if he didn't make it? _It's getting colder with the night._ Arra looked at the cover that surrounded her shoulders. Leather on the outside to keep the heat from escaping and fleece on the inside. She sighed and put it over the other blanket already on him. His features still held no color._ And he's still cold._

She sat by the fire.

"How long have you been doing this Shang business?" Edmund asked.

Arra thought for a second. "I think it's been . . .thirteen years. Since I was four."

Semrak snorted. "Women weren't made for fighting."

Arra raised her brow. "Really. I've been watching the female pages. I'd say they are doing fine. And in case you didn't notice I helped save you." The bazhir shrugged. Arra laughed, her temper was slowly rising. "I could beat you with a broken arm. I've nothing against knights but if I had to go by your training regimin it'd be _relaxing._ Shang training is rigorous. There are no breaks. For years you train and train and learn about various other things. The training is from dawn till dusk on a certain round of kicks or punches till you can properly execute it, then when you can, you add that to everything else you've learned and go over it all again. And that's not even counting the books they make us study and languages and history!"

She looked at him critisizingly. "I don't think you could have made it as a Shang."

Fianola put a hand on her arm. "He doesn't mean it. He's my friend. He comes from the Bloody Hawk tribe, the one Alanna belongs to. They are the most accepting of women warriors."

Edmund cut in. "And people usually respect Shang. If someone has the nerve to say they are a Shang they better be able to back it up. Though I think we've already seen you are."

Semrak smiled sheepishly at his friends. Then turned to Arra. "I meant no offense. We've already seen you can fight. Which reminds me could you teach me that move?"

"Which one?" Arra grinned when she realized which one he meant. "You mean the one that left that man on the ground unmoveable." He nodded. "Well, no. That seems a little dangerous to me."

"What exactly did you do?" Edmund asked.

"Broke all of his ribs with a hit to the sternum." The young Shang answered nonchalantly, standing. "I'm going to see about that stream you spoke of." Arra took a seat on the dirt and looked out onto the stream's surface barely lit by the crescent moon above. Severely wishing she had her leather-fleece cover to keep her warm, Arra rubbed her eyes.

"Arra?" Fianola took a seat next to the blue-eyed Shang.

"Hm?" When the female page didn't answer Arra inspected her. Fianola stared blankly into nothing with an incomprehensible look on her face. "What's the matter, Fianola?"

"I don't think I'd be able to do it."

"Do what?"

"Kill anyone. How would I know if it was for the good, or would I get lost and kill for the wrong reasons and become evil because I find I like killing? I don't think I'd be able to kill like you did. W-what if I become . . .I don't know, cold?"

"That is a matter of personal moral ethics. With the life you've chosen you _will_ someday kill someone. But it's going to be up to you who." Arra began matter-of-factly. "I'm going to tell you what my teacher told me. Every life you take will weigh on your mind. Any kind of warrior will tell you that. But when you stop caring, and those lives no longer matter and they don't even bother you anymore, that's when you're killing for the wrong. That's when you become a cold killer. That's when you need to worry. Because--" she paused and looked straight into Fianola's dark eyes. "--you _are _being trained to kill. That won't be the problem. What you need to figure out is why your killing, for what—or who—you're killing, and if _you_ are okay with that."

Fianola soaked it in looking out into the distance. "Thank you. I think I needed someone to tell me that."

Arra stood and held out a hand to Fianola. "I needed someone to tell me, too. Now come on let's check up on our dear prince."

**xXx**

The youth shook his head. No, this wasn't going accordingly not at all. "So let me get this straight, Feran. You failed."

"All, is not lost. Please--"

"Quiet! I'll tell you when I need your thoughts. At the moment I don't think I will. You are excused this once. " His voice held commanding that could not be ignored. With that the communication spell between them ended.

"Brother, don't be too hard on him."

"You like every male that walks within reach of you." She turned a dark look to him. His lips curled. "You know I only jest."

The youth owned bright green eyes accompanied with dirty blond hair. His sharp features had won him the eyes of many of the court women even in his youth but none of them had his affections. His twin on the other hand fixed her murky green eyes to every young male that would look her way, which was every one. Her hair was even darker blond though more of a light brown.

"But, Zedar, you know that I only want one man." She smiled to herself at the thought.

"Ah, Zefra, I know. You'll have to be patient for him though. You'll have him in due time." At the promise the girl became excited.

"Oh, when? Please tell me!"

Zedar smiled. "Tortall wants alliance with us."

"But what if they have their youngest daughter marry you?" Zefra said showing more intelligence at finding that problem than most thought she owned.

"We'll refuse. Besides, Father wants me to marry a Yamani princess." His answer was emotionless but Zefra noticably lit.

"Why do we need to kill her? She probably doesn't even know."

"And if she does? Father is the one who chooses who rules. If she comes back she might be chosen. You might not get to marry your precious prince. That's why." He paused thoughtfully. "And then all of our plans will have been for nothing."

"Calm down Zedar. It was only a question. I don't want the plan to change I merely wanted to know why." Zefra said putting her had on Zedar's upper arm.

He smiled again, it was a cold smile that could send chills up anyone's spine. "Don't worry, sister dear, you'll have your prince. I'll have the kingdom and everything will work out fine."

**xXx**

"Is he any better?" Semrak asked.

"No, but he's not worse which isn't a bad thing I suppose. Though he has to make it through the night." Arra said trying to think of another way to make him warmer. _Maybe I can find some large rocks and heat them in the fire. But there aren't enough layers to promise the stones won't burn him._ Then an idea came to her._ Oh, no. I'm not doing that. Let the prince die for all I care because that is not even an option. _Inwardly she groaned._ The Fates aren't being funny._

"Would any of you like to sleep with the prince?" She asked the pages.

Fianola sputtered and looked at Arra like she was crazy. "W-what!"

She rolled her eyes. "Do you want to take the chance he might not make it through the night?" They shook their heads. "So then we have do decide which one of us will do it. Or which ones."

"You." They all said at once.

"What? Why?" Arra was shocked they would say that.

"Well, we're men." Edmund began and Semrak nodded.

"And it would be odd for me to." Fianola finished.

"And it's any better if _I_ do?" They nodded. She let out a frustrated sound. "But I can't do it! That would be akward! Plus he's not my prince. If he dies, nothing happens to me."

"But your the best candidate. We know you won't do anything to him. You know more about, well basically everything. If it had just been us we would have kept on going on through the night. We might have made it to the palace but at what cost?" Edmund explained.

Arra groaned. "Fine! But if I hear that people know what happened here I will personally chase you all down and beat you mercilessly." The seriousness in her eyes must have been penetrating because they all agreed. Edmund and Semrak found a place to sleep and Fianola curled up a bit away from them with her own blanket. Arra sighed. This was going to be exactly how she had said it would be, akward. Delaying what she had to do Arra got plenty more wood and piled it onto the fire to make sure it would last longer.

The pages asleep Arra thought to herself, _I guess I'll have to do it sometime._ She admited to herself she was being rather immature about the whole thing and was acting like _he_ was poison but . . . she didn't really care. Arra crawled in next to Liam. She put her head to his chest and found a heartbeat, it was quiet and slow but still there. She wrapped her arms around his lithe body and came as close as possible to share her warmth.

_This is going to be odd in the morning._ With the last thought she tried to get some sleep secretly hoping the prince would be okay.

**x..:..x**

A/N: Haha. Zefra is my guild war's name. Except I spell it differently. 'Zephra.' lol. And . . . come on. This isn't a cliffhanger is it? If it is I don't think it's a bad one. Though I suppose in an ongoing story _every_ chapter is a cliffhanger. Well, this one I was a bit nicer.

You guys rock! Lol. Thank you for all of the reviews. I half expected you guys would hate me and not review at all just to protest. (Please don't get any ideas from that.) Wow, when I first wrote this story, I thought maybe a couple people would read it and sure they _might _like it but not enough to continue reading. You guys make me want to contiue writing, which in retrospect works for your benefit.

Ahhhhhhhhh! Sixth Harry Potter book. 'Nough said. If you read it you understand. I finished it the day it came out. I felt like crying. I won't give anything away no worries.

Sorry guys! I was in such a rush putting this on I din't check to see if my markers were in place. Thanks to Jadepiper's review I found out. So I reposted this chapter in hopes they will be. Hehe. People must have been all like "What in the crap is going on?" haha. Sorry again.


	10. Weight of Stress

A/N: I'm listening to Crossfade. Damn I love that band! At the moment it's 'so far away' next its 'cold'. I'm so an alternative rocker. yup. I love alternative rock. Well, here's the chappie. Bon appetite! Enjoy!

I am in pain. I've been doing volunteer work (all of it includes lifting, bending, etc). And my back hurts really bad. My sister is studying to be a nurse and she says it's my kidneys. Apparently, I'm not drinking enough water, so I'm losing weight and my kidneys are 'falling'. This happens to anorexic people. NO, I am NOT anorexic. Frankly, I love food. Me and food go well together, we meet several times a day. So I guess water's my problem. I suppose I'm tell you this so you understand if the chapters come out a bit slowly. I spend quite an amount of time just laying in bed cuz it hurts.

Disclaimer: I almost think its worth getting sued if i just did not have to write this every chapter! some of this belongs to me. But most of it is Tamora Pierce. GOT IT?

**x..:..x**

Layers of sleep started to peel away and Arra could barely feel the conscious world around her. Something warm surrounded her. Slowly, she vaguely remembered the covers over her head. With a jolt of awareness Arra's eyes burst open. Her head was underneath the cover so her whole body was warm but that wasn't the only thing that contributed to it. Her body molded into Liam's, his arm also snuggly wrapped around her

She sat up and immediately regretted it. The cold from outside hit her; it had been incredibly warm under her leather-fleece blanket. Liam groaned. Sitting up, she had pulled the covers off of him.

"Liam?"

He opened one eye. "You're awake."

"What do you mean _I'm_ awake the surprise is _you_ being awake." She said, exasperation in her voice apparent.

He shrugged slowly. "I woke up a while ago and saw you." He smirked lazily. "Couldn't stay away?"

Anger rose at his innuendo. "Next time your about to die. I'll let you." Arra said in a low tone. When she stood to storm away Liam's arm shot out and pulled her back down beside him. He hugged her around the shoulders.

"Thank you."

She just grumbled and tore away from his grasp mumbling something that sounded like 'should have let him die'. Liam laughed and tried to stand. A dizzy spell hit him and he almost fell back. Arra caught his arm. "Stay seated! We'll get everything ready and come get you."

True to what she had said everything was packed up again though the pages woke up a little afterwards. Liam was sitting in front of the dead fire which was now nothng but cinders and ash with Arra's leather-fleece blanket around hit shoulders. "Your highness, it is time to go."

"Back to the titles? Okay then."

"Here give me the blanket. I'll trade it for this." Arra had her traveling cloak in hand. Navy blue wool on the outside and light blue on the inside.

"How much do you keep in your packs?"

"Everything I need. This is what I usually carry around with me when I travel on my own. Now give me the blanket." She held out her hand for the blanket noticing he sounded just a bit disoriented.

He shook his head. "This is too warm."

Arra frowned. "That's my favorite travel blanket."

"I'll have to get one." Arra took the blanket forcefully and put the cloak on him.

"Well you can't have mine." She snapped the silver clasp on the cloak together. She frowned. If she had a Name the silver clasp would portray it to onlookers but alas it was simply blank. "There you are, if you get cold tell someone."

He smiled sincerely. "Thank you." She looked up. Their faces were closer than need be.

"We need to get you back to the palace healers." She stepped back to see if he could stand. He tried but when he swayed she helped him realizing now more than before how much taller than herself he was: three quarters of a head. Meaning the top of her head came to about his lips._ I hate my height. So cursed short!_

She helped Liam onto his mount then got on her own. Stifling a gasp as pain stabbed its way up and down her back. She could still feel the blade.

"I'm feeling kind of . . . sleepy." Liam tottered in his saddle. But Semrak was there on one side and Fianola took the other to make sure he stayed on. The prince grinned languidly. "Well since you've got that handled can I take a small nap?"

Arra shook her head. "No. You must stay awake."

"I'm too sleepy to care." He yawned.

To keep him awake Arra tried to find a topic quickly, she said the first thing in her mind. "So you are seventeen right?"

"No."

"Keep him talking, Arra." Edmund whispered.

"Well then how old are you?" Arra continued.

"Eighteen."

"And why aren't you a knight yet? Did Lord Padraig make you repeat a year as I hear the last training master did?"

"No, when I turned ten I came down with a terrible illness--" His sentence broke with a yawn. "--and even when I recovered it took months for me to return to my former healthy state. But must we talk of this now? Of all times?"

"Yes, if you keep talking you won't fall asleep." She said simply. So that's what they did. They talked. And when one topic was retired they quicky lifted another one. After a while even the pages joined in. And it wasn't just Arra asking questions anymore, Liam asked questions too as well as Semrak, Edmund, and Fianola. Despite the hunger in their bellies because of the lack of breakfast they didn't even stop for lunch just ate, yet again, leftover jerky.

Arra tried to follow the same trail of questions but her mind skipped back to the one she'd first thought when she saw Liam riding up to their company. "Why did you come on this pages outing? It makes no sense."

"And how does it not make sense?" Liam asked only slightly curious as to the suddenness in her question.

"For so many reasons. Where is your knightmaster? Why aren't you with him? And even if you can come up with an answer for that why go with the pages? And . . . the healer's hut! Why would they let their _Prince _of all people take some unimportant Shang with only a few pages for company? No sense." Arra almost got through it all with one breath but came up short therefore only managing 'no sense' and not able to fit in 'makes'.

"You thought a lot about that haven't you?"

Arra shrugged and tapped her head. "My mind can't understand."

Liam rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "My knightmaster came down with some sort of sickness. They didn't tell me anything other than that. But his orders were for me to come here. Something about he wanted me to be doing something other than fetching the healer."

"And he told you this directly?" Arra wondered aloud.

"No, someone else told me. But the message was from him."

"I see. And why did Lord Padraig send you?" Arra moved on to her next question.

"I volunteered. And they volunteered to come with me when he asked." Arra sighed at his inability not to see that something was wrong with that. Why let their prince go? Even with pages? And even if he isn't the Crown Prince, so what? _No, it's not that they don't care. It's just the Fate's doing. Pushing us together as many ways as possible._ She growled to herself.

They continued at a steady pace until Liam started to speak nonsesne. Saying random phrases such as. "Are there any more?" and "Don't worry, I'll take care of it." Arra decided to pick up the pace considerably. It was nightfall when they finally reached the castle in desperate need of food. They hadn't stopped for the good of their prince.

Arra dismissed the pages to go eat. Though where they should eat they were confused about, seeing as how the pages eating room would be empty but they didn't say anything on the matter. They took all of the horses with them as Arra guided the delirious prince into the palace. He leaned heavily on her and swayed a bit, reminding her of a drunken man.

He set his head atop her own. "You're beautiful you know."

Arra rolled her eyes. "And your delirious." She said spotting Selma. "Selma! Get Duke Baird!" Selma must've heard because she ran off but returned shortly with the Duke himself.

Arra handed the second born prince to the Chief healer. He immediately put Liam under a Gift-induced slumber and with surprising strength lifted him up and carried him to a room Arra had never seen before. _Like that's such an amazing thing, I haven't seen most of the rooms in the castle. Except my own. _

"Selma, would you mind informing their Majesties of their son's condition?" Selma nodded at Duke Baird's polite request and left. He turned to Arra. "You may want to stay here. They might want to know what happened."

Arra nodded in understanding and took a seat inside the room. In the minutes Arra waited she listened to the Duke Baird's mumbling. He would say things such as, "Poisoned, wound in left forearm." She listened so closely she almost missed The royal entrance. Arra stood quickly and bowed though they ingored it.

"How is he?" Thayet asked.

"Will he be okay?" Jonathan added. Arra noticed that their voices were calm but with the unmistakable undercurrent of worry.

Duke Baird assured them Liam was going to live. He turned back to the Prince when Alanna swept into the room and he repeated to her he would indeed live. When that was finished all eyes turned to Arra for what happened. She sighed. _Where am I supposed to start?_

She opened her mouth several times only to close it before actually finding a good place to start. "Apparently, I was in some sort of comatose because they couldn't wake me. All I know is I woke up in a different setting in which I fell asleep."

"And your dream?" Alanna asked.

"Pardon?" Arra was taken a bit by surprise.

"Your dream. What happened?" The red-head repeated, the slightest hint of irritation in her voice.

_I can't tell them! _"I . . . don't remember." The Shang answered finally. The rest of the telling went fairly smooth. Arra skipped over the little fact that she'd shared Liam's bedroll and might have been stingy in details about the fight with the theives. _Or whoever they were. Why did they want me . . .? _Arra stood to leave until King Jonathan's voice stopped her.

"You're bleeding."

With the adrenaline pumping through her veins for worry of Prince Liam she'd forgotten about the pain. She placed three fingers gently on the wound and was met with a sharp pain. "I think I may have gotten it on the chair. I apologize."

Thayet waved it away. "Get yourself healed."

Arra smiled and held up her hands. "No, no, I'm fine."

"Even Shang let healers work on them." Alanna said, a purple light already glowing around her fingertips.

She had nothing against healers, or Gifted (considering she herself was one), but at the moment her top priority was to leave and go to sleep. _The quickest way now I suppose is to let them work. . . why am I being so stubborn about this?_ "Fine, fine." Arra agreed and since The Duke was still busy Alanna saw to it. It was then they both realized they were very close to the same height, though technically speaking Arra was taller.

Arra decided to fill the silence. "Ah, changes. My teacher was one of those who believed 'that which does not kill you only makes you stronger.'"

"Your teacher? I don't thinkyou've said who he is." Jonathan said. Arra could tell they were trying to make conversation. _I don't have to tell them my whole life story. But telling them _something_ can't hurt._

"Damien the Shang Pheonix." Arra smiled in memory of him. "Gods, I miss them."

"Them?" Alanna asked, still working on her back.

Arra nodded and winced because of Alanna's work. "My friend Joel and I were both apprentices to him." She looked down at Joel's name. "He's the Shang Hawk now and I . . . well . . ."

Thayet changed the subject. Though, Arra admited to herself, not a better one. "So you grew up around two men? Didn't that get . . . akward?"

A red shade tinged her cheeks. "Ah . . . yes."

Alanna smiled though it was out of Arra's range of sight. Thayet hid a smile behind their hand while Jonathan looked a bit confused. An odd look on his handsome, usually knowledgeable, face. The Duke looked unaffected until he spoke. "Liam will most definitely be alright. He may even be awake in a few days. But what's most peculiar is that this was the same type poison used on Arra. Not exactly the same though. And as it was only a graze not a complete shot through," He looked pointedly at Arra, "The damage was slower."

Alanna finished up and said Arra should be fine. "I'm surprised you were walking without any kind of limp. A major muscle in your back was skimmed though you were lucky nothing hit your ribs. What exactly happened?"

"Stabbed in the back with a dagger." She said nonchalantly. "Which reminds me I never got _my_ dagger out of _his_ back. . ." She grinned. Then a sudden thought hit her, she bowed. "If you don't mind I never got to properly see to my mount."

"Of course." The King said. With that Arra left. When the door closed and the group was sure she wouldn't hear they spoke again.

"She's . . ." Thayet began.

"Odd." Alanna finished. "But I like her."

"Alanna, if I recognize that look in your eye, and I do, I'd say you were planning on challenging her." Jon said to her.

Alanna shrugged. "Shang are interesting and make spars more exiting."

"You've fought Shang before." He pointed out.

"With wounds afterward." Duke Baird interjected.

She blushed. "So? I haven't yet fought the Nameless Shang. If the rumors are to be believed she would've had an immortal name."

"You used the excuse 'I haven't fought the--' before. To be exact you said that about the Shang Horse when he first got here and the Shang owl. The Shang --" Thayet would've gone on but she was cut off by Alanna.

"I get it!"

"How much satisfaction would you be able to get if you beat a seventeen year old anyways?" Her king continued.

"I'd know that in my old age I havent' become rusty." Alanna stated. "And when have you all cared who I challenged before?"

Jonathan just shook his head. "You're impossible."

**xXx**

_Why didn't I tell them those people were after me? It would've been easy to bring up. I know it would have. Then why didn't I?_

A voice floated through her mind. _"Because you think you are invinceble. That you can handle anything. And you think if you tell them, it would be like asking for help in some way."_

_That is crazy. Even I know I'm not invinceble. _

"_Welcome to how your subconscious thinks."_

_Liam would tell them sooner or later._

"_You don't know the relationship between son and parents."_

Arra stopped for a second. Why was she being so difficult with herself? Why was she contradicting every other thought that passed through her head? With this happening she found no easy way to put herself at ease.

_For all I know he _is_ very close with his parents._

"_True."_

_I know nothing. No definites. I don't even know who's after me. I don't know if it was some small group that wants me dead for reasons unknown._

"_Don't be dense. The man said 'they'll be mad'. He was terrified. That means there was somebody in a higher power over him. Who could hold that much power over someone else?"_

Arra sighed. "That's just it. I don't know. I just . . . don't know."

She walked to her room, just as she was about to open the door she decided against it. With everything that had happened she wasn't tired. Not in the least. So she turned in direction of the practice courts. Suddenly her scalp felt itchy, she reached up her hand calmly to scratch it when with sudden frustration she used both hands messing up her hair till it was nothing but a mass of tangles. "I don't know!"

A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Gods, I'm so confused."

Arra decided to work on her bow skills. She chose one out of the practice bows and grabbed a quiver of arrows. When she got to the shooting range she loosed each one. One right after the other one. To her it was all just a rhythm. Slip the arrow to the bow, place fingers, pull, loose. _**It is not enough to be one with your weapon, you'll hit the mark every time when you can feel the pull from the target also.** That's what Damien said._ She touched the last arrow gently. She held it to her face. Studying it looking at every nook, every scratch, the color, every fiber of it. With unbelievable speed it was sent almost immediately from her fingers to the target.

"That was some good shooting."

Arra was just about ready to curse. _If it isn't one person it's another. Can't someone get privacy!_

"_You came to the wrong place for privacy."_

_Shut up!_

Arra found who the voice belonged to. Buriram Tourakom. The former Commander for one of the Queen's Riders' groups. Though since her marriage to the Knight Commander, Raoul, she'd given up the spot.

She shrugged and headed to fetch her arrows for another round. She'd had to cut out a couple but eventually she got them all. Standing back at her starting position, she looked at the target. _Too close, too easy. _Arra stepped back until there was at least twenty more feet between her and the target. Starting with the first one she loosed. Taking another step backward she shot the next one. Still moving back in a smooth motion she loosed the next, and the next. Arra reached for another and found they were gone. Sighing she swept her crystal blue orbs over the land in front of her. _Where's Buriram?_

She shrugged. _Not my problem. _She retrieved the arrows once again and started over. In a blind rage, for reasons that eluded even her, Arra didn't notice the small group forming to see the Shang shoot after nighfall.

**xXx**

"Why do you think she's doing it?" Buri asked Raoul.

"I wouldn't know. But she never misses the mark even in this light."

"You can see something in her eyes." Onua remarked. "Some sort of spark."

"What's everyone looking at at this time?" Came the voice of the Lioness.

Raoul spun. "Oh, Alanna. We were just watching the Shang, what was her name again?"

"Arra. What is she doing?"

"From what any of us can tell she's just shooting."

As soon as the words left his mouth Arra returned from yet another retrieval of arrows walking away, out of sight of the group.

"Think she's finally done?" Onua asked.

Raoul peeked around the corner to find her coming back with a sword in hand. "Nope, not a chance."

Arra threw the sword into the air. It fell, spinning hilt over blade though all that could be seen was the moonlight falling over the blade in flashes. Her fingers expertly grasped the handle in mid-air. The hidden group watched, transfixed. If they had seen that by any other Shang it might not have seemed so impressive. But at that exact moment it did. Perhaps it was the moonlight. Or possibly even the seriousness in the seventeen year old's face. Her usual smiling lips held in a straight line that looked as steady as stone. Her eyes were fully concentrated, though whether on the weapon before her or on personal thoughts they would never know.

Carefully, she placed the blade on the ground. Wasn't she planning on using it? So why was she putting it down? They soon knew the answer when she went into stretches. She stood perfectly still until she bent over backward, creating an arc with her body. She lifted one of her legs over and the other one followed until she completely flipped and stood upright again. After that her stretches became jumping, reaching, and flipping. Arra stopped seemingly suddenly, her breath only came a little harder. Picking up the sword they all watched as she fell into a series of swings, arcs, and slashes. Though they could only watch for an amount of time for after a while she was nothing more than a blur.

Arra stopped on her right foot. The dust fell away and created small twisters with her sudden stop. The group watched intently, her face stared into nothingness. She held her body still with a trained amount of effort. No ones eyes were on the sword until the moonlight flickered of the blunt silver blade just as no one was ready for the motion she made next. Though no one actually noticed the movement, all they knew is within the blink of an eye her arm was suddenly outstretched and the sword end was dug into a nearby tree.

She'd thrown it.

They watched as, almost in slow motion, Arra fell to her knees. Her heands seemed to clasp the side of her head as if she wanted to tear herself free from her flesh encasement. At first all they could hear was mumbling. Murmurs and whispers of almost words. Arra steadily became louder. Until finally they could hear the words.

"I DON'T KNOW!" She cursed and said a little quieter. "Why?"

It was finally then when they were snapped out of their near-trance. Arra suddenly looked very weak and childlike. Her arms slipped from her head and wrapped themselves around her. Now they noticed her pale appearance and the slight shine of sweat on her forehead. Tears streamed down her cheeks falling to the groud and making dark spots in the dirt.

Arra stared at her hands. She stood slowly from her knees, from this the silent watchers saw her body looked weary. She pulled the sword free sending bits of bark to the ground. Her arm hung with the sword in hand as if it were nothing more than a stick. So much more different than only moments before when it had become an extension of her arm.

The practice weapon slipped from her grasp. A Shang trained grasp. It fell to the ground. Arra looked at it dully. Then her eyes rolled into the back of her head, falling into the dirt next to the sword which gleamed in the moonlight.

**x..:..x**

A/N: And that's a wrap. Wasn't that fun? And what's the matter with Arra? Is she just losing her mind? Dun, dun, dun! Find out but before you do please report to the purple-blue button down below to REVIEW! (though most of you are probably smart enough to figure out what happened) And thank you. I still find it amazing how the beginning can be soooo different from the end. Lol. I'm crazy-stupid.

If the story seems to be going too fast, sorry. I'll write the same thing I put in my RK fic. I have trouble turning a ten second idea into a one hundred chapter story. (though I actually did spend a while thinking up the plot). So this is just a warning.

**PLEASE READ:** Okay, well, I'm working on a story for fiction press. Blah blah, it's another romance thing. (I myself am a hopeless romantic). Well, I want some opinions before I even think of posting it. So I was wondering if anyone would like to read the chapters of it I have written? If you don't mind, of course. If you would like to either send your answer in your review or e-mail me at (still review if you send e-mail please.)I would like to have two or three people if at all possible. If you guys are too busy I understand, I just thought I'd ask. Please, please, please. All I want is just a little bit of feedback. Thank you. Though, just a warning, I think I'd rate it mature (no I do not write lemons but there is **_mention_**, nothing more, of rape.)

(Don't worry I'll tell you what it's about.)

Marriage means peace and usually not much else. Betrothed from birth to settle anything from family feuds or possibly just to combine families. The lucky ones fall in love. But the others . . . Vashti is a lucky one. But she doesn't care what people say, she hates her husband. But on her journey of finding all about her people's past and their enemies, how many people will have to die before she realizes she might care for him?


	11. Exhaustion

A/N: According to my previous updates this was due on wednesday or possibly thursday. But I waited till friday so that I could give you a chapter on my birthday. A bit of joy for me and a bit for you.

**x..:..x**

"What do you think happened to Arra?"

"Exhaustion."

Arra could hear voices and works but her mind wouldn't put the voices to names. She felt too tired._ Where's my maid? Who are these people? Who gave them the right to call me Arra? _She could only barely feel her own confusion. Blearily she formed words. "Don't call me Arra"

"Arra! You're up! Here, eat something." Someone placed food in front of her. But her brains still didn't function properly.

"Why am I being treated like some commoner!" Just as the words left her mouth she felt for the first time her eyes really opened. She gasped. _I am a commoner to them. What was I thinking? . . . Is is just me or am I always waking up in strange beds? No wait, this is my bed._

"Have an interesting dream?" She looked up and found Raoul. Immediately she looked back down.

Blushing she answered. "No. . ." Her pride wanting power over embarrrassment for just a moment. "I meant yes! Dream. Very odd dream . . ."

The made her eat something and she noticed who exactly stood in the room. _Sir Raoul, Buriram, Onua, Alanna . . . why are they in here? _She took a bite of the food and put down the utensil. Arra stared at the food long after she was done chewing and swallowing. They noticed this.

"Go on. Eat more." Onua urged.

Arra shook her head. "No, I'm not hungry."

"How much did you eat yesterday?" Alanna asked.

"C-close to nothing." Arra answered.

"Exactly, so eat." Alanna pushed the food closer to her.

Arra looked at the food distastefully. She knew she probably should be hungry but . . . she wasn't. "I'm sorry. But I can't. I just can't. I don't expect you to understand, I don't even know why I won't eat, I just – no."

Alanna grew a bit aggravated. This was for her own good! It was like refusing medicine! "You _have_ to eat. Do you know why you fainted? You fainted of exhaustion. You had no food for you body to keep going and yet you did."

Arra looked nonplussed by her sudden anger.

Alanna contiued. "Why did you do all of that? To show yourself you could? To practice? Why would you do that in the middle of the night?"

The young Shang looked up. "You saw all of that? I -I was just releasing some stress . . ."

"You overworked yourself!" The red-head exlaimed.

"Listen to Alanna, she knows plenty on that subject." Raoul interjected smiling. Alanna sent him a glare.

"She gets like this. Though I've only seen it once before." A new voice said. One Arra recognized immediately.

"Damien?"

He stood smiling in the doorway. He was a middle aged man with light brown hair and even lighter brown eyes. But what was he doing here? He nodded in response to her questioning.

"What do you mean 'She gets like this'?" Alanna asked.

"There was a time when she was with me she just refused to eat. I later found out it was because she was worried about so many things. When she gets over stressed she just won't eat anything." He said. Arra said no words, she was still schocked about his abrupt apperance.

Arra didn't pay attention to the next few seconds. Not very closely anyway, moslty she understood eveyone had left the room to give her and Damien some time alone. He sat down in a chair near her. She looked at him blankly. Arra shook herself mentally and forced herself to form words. "What are—how did you?"

He smiled. "I'm surprised I still know what you mean. I followed the trail of rumors to you. And as for why I'm here. . . I've been worried about you. You left so soon. No one knew what happened to you." He paused. "Joel's been worried especiallly. He's been trying to find you, or at least last time I checked he was. I don't know where he is now though."

"Don't tell him where I am. Please."

Damien raised a brow. "Are you running away from him still?"

Arra rolled her eyes. "I'm not running away. I just need time to sort out my life at the moment. Away from him."

"Which basically means your running away."

She gave him a slanted look. "Just don't tell him okay?"

He held up his hands. "Fine. I won't. But he'll find you eventually, he wasn't named the Shang Hawk for nothing."

Arra looked up at him. Studying his features and noticing how little he'd changed in the past year. A smile spread across her face. The young Shang jumped off of the bed and brought the Pheonix into a hug. "I missed you Damien."

He squeezed her. "I missed you too, chickadee."

She looked up at him and scowled. "I hate that name."

"I know but I do it to see your face in that state."

Alanna told the king about Arra later that day. He said she should stay for a couple days and rest. After she was fine she would take the pages back. She didn't complain and instead showed her former teacher around the grounds in the time being, which the Duke Baird said was fine as long as she took it easy.

"This is odd. I was just talking about you the other day." Arra said. She looked up at his face, which was hard considering he stood head and shoulders over her.

"Really? What about?"

"Aren't I allowed to flaunt the fact that I was trained by THE Shang Pheonix?"

Damien laughed. "I'm sure you are but I never took you to be the type to do it."

She shrugged in response and her stomache grumbled.

"Hungry now my little chickadee?" He said putting a hand on her head. She slapped it off mumbling something that sounded close to, "I'll _eat_ that chickadee. . ." Damien laughed and Arra showed him a place where they could eat.

Arra decided to only eat a bit despite Damien telling her to eat more. _He still very much acts like my teacher._

"Listen to me, I know better, now eat!"

Arra laughed shortly. "I haven't had to listen to you in two or more years!" They took a seat but the conversation continued.

"By the gods, has it been that long?" Arra nodded. "I'd half forgotten. Your still the same size." She looked up from the small pile of food and glared. After that he only looked at her expectantly. _What! _

"What is it? Is there something you want to say?" Arra sounded a bit aggravated.

"Why didn't you ever tell us you had the Gift?" Damien's voice was suddenly serious. _He's had this on his mind for a while. Is that why he tried to find me? Just to know the answer to this one question?_

Arra shrugged evasivley and stood to leave but he followed. "Is it really a hard question to answer?"

"Why didn't you ask after the Council? When you told me to come here." Arra shot back.

"I know as well as anyone when is a proper time for asking a question. That was not a good time for you. You needed time, I gave it to you." He said it as if he deserved to know. _Deseve to know? Ha! People don't always get what they 'deserve' . . . and sometimes they do._

She sighed. "I knew if I told you, or anyone I'd've been kicked out of Shang. Surely you can understand that. It's a simple enough answer, with a simple enough reason."

"Yes, yes I suppose. But, you, the Gift. It didn't seem to fit." He paused. "You really wanted to be a Shang didn't you?"

"When I was young—when anyone's young—how can they know? But later . . . yes. It became something I _couldn't_ give, even if I wanted to."

"I'd noticed." Her Shang mentor gave her the same odd look as before, though only for a moment.

"You want to know something else." She said flatly.

"How did we not know you had the Gift? Before you are allowed to enter into Shang--"

"I know. I was there at some point too." She growled. "And I honestly don't know why they couldn't detect my Gift." _What am I supposed to say, 'because it runs in my family?' That still doesn't explain why they couldn't find it. But it might get me found. Oh! No, maybe I should say it's because I'm one of a kind and Fate hates it. _Her thoughts were irritable. If it not that he was once her teacher, and if she felt he deserved to know, Arra wouldn't be answering the questions.

"In all truth, I thought when you found out, you'd be angry. Most definitley not as accepting as you both were." Arra said softly.

Damien picked up on something and spoke just as softly as she. "Will you not even speak his name?"

"Not the point."

"Say it."

Arra whirled. "JOEL! Are you happy?"

He shrugged. Damien had raised her, he's used to her ways. "You had a problem with it not me."

_He can be too infuriating for my own good, I'm sure._

The day passed quickly and Arra felt a pang when she saw it go. The were both sitting on the gate watching the near empty practice fields. _Another day will only bring me more problems. They always seem to._

"Something on your mind, chickadee?" _He's always been able to read me._

She glanced at him and suddenly a thought passed through that she'd never taken seriously before. _Should I tell him everything? The truth I mean? _For the first time, she considered it. _He's already had a shock with me having the Gift. How would he take it? . . . And Joel, what would he think?_

"Are you feeling well?" A slight worried look came over his face. "No comment for me calling you chickadee?"

"_He'd be devastated. As long as your a commoner like him, he still has a chance."_

_I thought I told you to shut up!_

"D-Damien, I'm not who you think I am." Her voice was so quiet she couldn't be sure he had heard or not. Her head pounded and her throat felt too tight.

"And now you're speaking nonsense. Perhaps we should bring you to a healer."

Arra stood and looked him straight in the eye. For a reason she couldn't name tears came to her eyes. "I'm fine!"

**XxX**

Damien wasn't sure what to make of this. She was acting too peculiar. Her crystaline blue eyes stared back into his with fiercness. _Though they aren't the same eyes. No. This isn't her same face either. I remember her having more . . . prominent features._

_But this is something different entirely. _She continued to look at him defiantly. _ Something raw. This is who she is. _The Pheonix realized._ This is different then her hiding her eyes behind magic, if that is what she's doing. Even before then when she didn't use magic at all, when she trained with me. This is diferent from even then. _

_This is **her .**_

Arra looked down. "Nevermind." And her eyes fell behind a wall once again.

**XxX**

Blood seemed to flow to her head again._ What was I thinking? _

"_You want to tell him. And If I'm not mistaken, you wanted to reveal to everyone."_

_I wouldn't._

"_I know. But you want to. You want to feel free of the burden."_

_By telling it I would only create another burden!_

"Arra maybe you should lie down." Damien said.

She shook her head. "No, I'm fine." She looked up at him and smiled. "Besides, who would show you around?"

Despite her attempt to lighten the mood he held his stern face. "I think I've been shown around enough for one day." He swept her feet out from under her and held her with one hand on her back. "I'll take you back to your rooms."Arra stuggled but he held her there firmly.

Finally she gave in and let him carry her. _He's the only one I know who'd dare do that to me. For all nearly everyone is taller than me. _He settled her into bed. "I'll be back. As soon as I find you some food. . ."

Arra smiled. _If I didn't know him I'd say he act nothing like a Pheonix. But if you see him fight. . .just when you think he's been taken down and he's done, he' strikes back with new strength. Just like a Pheonix . . ._

Damien came back carrying a tray of food only to find Arra already asleep. He smiled and mumbled. "And after all of the trouble I went through just to find it."

**XxX**

Knock.

Arra turned over in her bed grumbling.

Knock. Knock.

Slowly she opened her eyes. _The first time sleep is the most comfortable and someone wakes me up._ Her legs swung over and hit the ground while she rubbed her eyes.

Knock.

"I'm coming." Arra stood lazily and opened the door. Her eyes weren't completely cleared of sleep and they were half closed when a yawn broke out.

"Oh, were you sleeping?"

She nodded not taking note who had asked the question. _Why am I so tired? All I remember it thinking about Damien. Then the bed had been so warm and comfortable . . . _

"Yeah, I was sleeping." Arra said turning her attention to the person at the door. His hazel eyes were focused on her. _I should've known. _"Shouldn't you be resting?"

Liam laughed. "Shouldn't you?"

She looked down at herself. "What does it seem like I've been doing?"

"Don't you own any sleepwear?"

"I wasn't planning on sleeping I just did." She looked into his eyes suddenly. "Where's Damien?"

"Who?"

"Uh . . . Shang Pheonix."

"Ah, he's out on the practice fields. I think he's been there for a while." Relief flooded her system. _I would've thought he'd be long gone by now._

Arra ended the conversation and clambered into her quarters again. She changed, having the sudden urge to, and pulled a brush through her hair before pulling up her thick tresses into a semi-low bun. Walking out to the fields with Liam she soon spotted Damien. "I should've known." She muttered.

Damien was, at the moment, speaking to the foursome who she had woken up to. Buri, Raoul, Onua and Alanna. Damien looked at her as she aproached. "I see you've finally awoken. You slept through the rest of night."

Arra rubbed her forehead. "And I'm still tired too. I feel more like I've been running around than sleeping."

"I think we've all had those kind of days." Buri said.

"Yeah." Arra said a bit disconnected.

**x..:.x**

A/N: I bet when you guys first started reading this you thought maybe I didn't have a plot well . . . I do! Lol. Jk. But, what is the matter with Arra? Is her being tired really normal? Hmm, plenty to ponder, eh?

Now, I know a lot happened. Yup, but I wanted to stop at a certain area. So yeah.

OH! and before I forget. The only thing between Damien and Arra is a mentor/pupil relationship. Well, maybe more but nothing romantic. I just thought I'd let you guys know that.

Oh my wow. You will looooooove chapter 14, or maybe you won't depends on how you take it. I know, I know, it is really mean of me to say this. It's like dangling another treat in front of a dog when he can't exactly reach. But I'm just . . . excited. But by saying this alone, you guys (being so dang smart as you are, curse you!) will probably guess. Grr you and your brains!


	12. Worry

A/N: I was thinking . . . and then I realized I don't like thinking very much. Hehe. Though I think this one is going to be painfully short. Sorry guys! And I think it might be in the next one, there will be some fast-forward time travel.

So, I'm sure you guys weren't expecting the chapter so soon. But school is starting and that means less time to write which ultimately means (more than likely) larger gaps between updates. Because I'm moving into highschool (yes, I'm a freshman fish.) and that might take a bit of getting used to right? But I will try to stay on track, I'm just warning you so I don't get angry e-mails and/or reviews saying I don't update.

Disclaimer : Back to this. Arra, and everything in Karucia belong to me. As do Joel and Damien. But, sadly, everything else does not belong to me.

**x..:..x**

The days passed and at the end of each the Chief healer deamed Arra unfit and still unhealthy to go back. Many questioned, why? She looked perfectly healthy. But away from everyone Arra admitted soley to herself she didn't feel healthy in the least. But Duke Baird wouldn't give details, possibly because he may not have had them, he only said that something was not right with her.

_What is the matter with me? Surely, if it had been because I was 'stressed' Duke Baird would've told me._ Arra knew she was still worried about . . . everything. About whoever it was who wanted her dead. The need to speak of her greatest secret loomed over her but she shoved it back with every ounce of strength she possessed. But she'd dealt with all of that the way she dealt with any other problem. She examined it and let her skeptic, cynical thoughts whittle it down till it didn't seem as horrible.

And yet she still didn't feel hungry. Damien noticed this and nearly every time she saw him a thoughtful scowl inhabited his features. Apparentley he had planned to leave earlier than this but due to Arra's peculiarities he'd lengthened his stay.

Arra heard a comment. Of a healer, maid, or noble she couldn't tell but all the same the words almost made her want to join the conversation. "The Pheonix acts like her father."

"Well, shouldn't he? If she was indeed apprentice to him. He raised her. I'm sure she thinks of him as a surrogate father."

Arra thought about that. Did she think of him as a father? _No. _Her thoughts answered simply. She realized that it was true. She thought of him as more of a favored uncle. Someone she could talk to easily and yet still consider some sort of parental gaurdian.

_I-I can't think of him as a father because I know my real father still lives and . . . despite all Damien's done for me he won't ever be my father. _

For all that she'd wished she had never been born a princess she couldn't bring herself to wish away her own father. That seemed to her to be crossing some sort of line.

Such thoughts came to her as she soon became too tired to walk very long. Though she expressedly refused to become bedridden. For some reason, that seemed to assure people that she wasn't too ill and that she'd soon snap out of it. Arra on the other hand held on to doubts about her 'small sickness'. Something deep, deep inside of her told her it was much more than that.

"Damien may I ask a favor of you?"

He looked at Arra suspiciously and handed her an herbal tea before saying. "You are hardly ever so formal with me. What do you want?"

She inhaled a lage amount of air before beginning her request. "I feel like the pages may have been away too long, and no one here is reallly teaching them anything. I-I want you to take them back. I don't think I'll be up to the ride for a while and--"

"Of course you'll be fine," He said sharply. Almost as if not wanting to believe she might not.

Arra sighed. "Yes. But the matter isn't whether I'll be fine or not. For all I know the pages could be missing something they _need_ to learn and here they are waiting for me to get better with no definite date of when that will be."

"I see your teacher instincts are kicking in," Damien sighed and looked at her. "I'll take them back if it means that much to you, but while I'm away you get into no trouble."

She grinned. "Come now, the whole two months?"

He laughed. "You seem to be mistaken. I'll take them there but I'm coming back."

"You can't. They'll be short one of their Shang."

After much persuasion Arra finally got Damien to agree to take the pages and also stay with them. King Jonathan agreed that might be the best thing. Arra saw them off early the next day. The forest soon engulfed them and she was left with her own thoughts._ I don't want to go back to bed. I'll go see Lindhall surely they won't keep me from practicing with my Gift? _She shrugged and walked slowly to his study.

Arra closed the door loud enough for him to hear.

"Arra, I've heard about your illness. How are you feeling?" Linhall Reed himself walked out of one of his rooms carrying a snake which he put into a glass cage.

"As fine as I can be." She shivered one last time, shaking away the cool air from outside. "I'm always--" She yawned. "I'm always drowsy."

"Then perhaps you should rest. You shouldn't be working yourself. No lessons today until you get better."

Arra mumbled a 'fine' and left. She wandered around a bit longer suddenly thinking. _It's not that cold out here. Why am I wearing this? _Arra took of the sweater. The cold air blew freely through her clothes but she was impervious to it. _Now where is Ghost? _Soon after, Arra found her mare sitting with all four of her legs tucked under her in the pastures. The Shang sat beside her white horse. Everything seemed oddly peaceful. She decided to find her Gift the way Lindhall had taught her.

Arra closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Looking inside of herself she found what she was looking for. A ball of crystal blue fire which burned endlessly. For a second a very dark color flickered across the orb. Arra wasn't sure if she'd seen it but then it happened again. _That is_ not_ my Gift. I know it._ She tried to reach out and probe it with her mind but when she did she suddenly became very sleepy.

She fell against Ghost. The mare calmly prodded her mistress with her snout but she slept on soundly.

**xXx**

Liam wanted to stop being worried but it still grew. _Where is she? _Though another part of his mind continued to say he was becoming paranoid. _She's a Shang she'll be fine. Anything that comes her way she can handle._ The Prince tried to believe it but he couldn't.

_She's . . . not well. _

Something in the back of his mind told him to continue his search for Arra. He'd already checked her rooms. No matter whether she wanted to answer the door or not for him she always did. Though this late in the night he didn't want to alert anyone to anything. _Perhaps . . . perhaps on the practice grounds?_ With the new thought he nearly sprinted there only to find absolutley no one.

A horse whinnied from the pastures. He didn't think much of it until the sound became more insistant. Liam sighed and decided to put his search on pause while he saw to the problem of that horse. As he slowed to a jog he found out that both problems were one and the same.

There she was. Arra leaned against her mare, Ghost. While the horse looked back as if to say 'Well? Do something already.' The prince ran up to her.

"Arra, what are you doing?" Though she didn't answer. He continued to walk cautiously till he looked at her face to face. Arra looked pale, her lips were purple but despite unhealthy hints she looked . . . peaceful. "Arra wake up." Liam shook her. Ghost gave a sound much like a snort as if saying 'don't you think I've tried that.'

"ARRA!" He shook her harder.

Her eyes cracked. "What is it?" She mumbled. "Let me sleep."

"No, you _must_ wake up. Come on, let's take you inside where it's warm." Liam tried to lift her but she struggled half-heartedly.

"No, it feels nice out here." He put a hand to her cheek and found it very cold. He took of his own jacket and wrapped her in it. Whether she complained or not he lifted her up. She groaned.

They walked for a while when she spoke again. "You're very warm." She nuzzled her face into his chest and sighed. Liam looked down at her not really sure what to say. Thank you didn't really seem to fit in his opinion. In his search for words he noticed one of her hands lay limply atop of her. He studied that too. It was a small hand, smaller than his own anyways, though it was calloused in various places. Somehow, past all of that, he could see that if she had never become a Shang her hand could have been delicate and nimble like any one of the court ladies he'd seen.

_Though, she would've never gotten that chance right? Because she was a commoner._ Again the thought seemed to somehow sadden him.

A commoner.

And he himself a prince. Life never seemed to be fair._ Wait, what exactly am I thinking?_ He didn't have time to answer because the door to Arra's room presented itself before him. Arra's eyes opened and she struggled out of his grasp. "I can open it." And indeed she did. She entered and hissed.

"It's hot in here!"

Liam followed her in unknowing of what she planned to do and found it just pleasantly warm. He searched the room and found Arra struggling out of her clothes grumbling things about 'uncomfortable heat'. He turned his back to her heat rising in his cheeks.

_What is the matter with me? _Though he knew he could name at least five court ladies who wanted to do more than just undress in his presence. _That isn't the point though! She's sick and obviously not all there. . . seeing her undress like this is—its not right!_

_Would I be alright with it if she was perfectly fine and she wanted to?_ Liam refused to finish the thought for his own sake. He couldn't think like that about her. She was his friend. She was a Shang. She . . . she was a commoner and he knew that was the only thing that stopped him from having those thoughts and possibly even nurturing them. Had she even been just noble he would have tried _something._ Like courting her. But him being a prince and she a commoner made it only too impossible.

He peaked over his shoulder seeing she was already in bed, though to his embarrassment in only a breast band and loincloth. He found a cover, a light one, and put it over her. Prince or not he couldn't deny she was beautiful. _Why does she cover it?_ Liam stayed a bit longer, sitting in the chair beside her bed. He checked her temperature. Finding it was considerably warmer he decided it was time for him to leave.

His kissed her forehead gently and turned to leave. But there was something small in his hands holding him there. It wasn't a firm hold but it was enough. Arra's face was still impassive with sleep but her hand held his. His hazel eyes grew softer. "Goodnight Arra. I would stay but I fear what you'd do to me in the morning." Liam whispered.

**xXx**

The girl yawned, seeing a light coming from her brothers rooms, she entered. "Zedar, what are you doing at this time?"

His eyes didn't leave what was in front of him. "It'd be better if you didn't know." He said, a dark blue color around his finger tips. "All you need to know is you are well on your way to having that Prince. . . whatever."

"Prince _Liam_!" said Zefra indignantly.

"Yes, yes." He said distractedly. His twin couldn't help but notice the smallest twinge of grey in his face with exhaustion.

"How long will this take?" she asked.

"A few months." He said nonchalantly. "If _this _plan is to work it'll go _perfectly_. I don't want anyone to notice that something is too far out of the ordinary." The cold smile came over him again. "They _may_ find out what it is but it would be too late."

Zefra worriedly put a hand on his shoulder. "D-don't over-do yourself, okay?"

He barely flicked his green orbs towards her. Only mumbled. "I'll take it too slowly for her to notice."

**xXx**

The next day Arra awoke at midday still very much tired. The only thing bringing her from her bed being persistance. A luke warm bath waited for her in the bathroom as she entered the water she remembered pieces from the day before. _Something about Liam. I think he helped me. It was night. And that's . . . it._ She rubbed her forehead. "Gods, I hope I didn't do anything stupid."

Arra scrubbed though she wasn't sure why she went so fast. Every one of her duties had been taken away since she took up illness.

She sighed at her reflection.

A face pale with sickness.

Dark bags under her eyes. Below that on her chest stood the Fate's silver handprint. It was resting atop her breasts, the middle finger reached up to her collar bone.

_I can barely replace my spells. _Barely, but she did.

She lifted her hand and knocked on the door belonging to Prince Liam. Arra knocked for a while with no answer. Shrugging she turned to leave.

"Were you looking for me?"

She lifted her hand to punch him in shock but only barely stopped right in front of his nose. "Don't scare me like that!" Arra said as she retracted her hand.

Liam smiled. "So, is there anything you wanted."

"Er. . ." So saying thank you never came easy to Arra. Then again neither did apologizing or saying she's wrong. "I wanted to say thank you."

"For?"

_He's not going to make this easy is he?_

"I'm not entirely sure. All I remember is looking into my Gift near morning and then . . . something about you I'm sure and nighttime," she took a deep breath. "then I remember waking up. And that's about it. I'm pretty sure you had something to do with me not waking up in the fields so thank you."

He grinned and tousled her hair. "No problem."

"I am not a child," She said, flattening her hair. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't treat me like one."

"Fair enough." They smiled at each other bt Arra's fell sooner, like she no longer had the energy to keep up even her smile any longer.

**x..:..x**

A/N: That's it. I wonder if anyone has cought it yet? Ah, well. I really don't like the next chapter. And I'll probably say so too. So just be ready for the crappiest chapter I've gotten out yet.

Oh, wow. So questions? Aww, Liam really does think of Arra like that. But he's too much of a trained prince to actually do anything. And the twins. I'm guessing you all have already guessed what they are up to. Hmmm, lets see. Oh yes, what is the deal with Arra? I mean she fell asleep and when Liam found her she was still sleeping . . . late at night.

I'm just answering a couple reviews that got to me. (no not in a bad way.)

**Zerrin of the Wind –** Actually, yes. I'm not going to say as to what I'm saying 'yes' to though. Whether to 'will we meet joel' or 'did arra break his heart'. Muahaha. Guess you'll have to see.

**Tinufuir –** Yes! It is a lot like roswell. But if you'd like to know more reasoning than "I was watching roswell when I wrote it." here it is. I wanted the idea of the handprint because it wasn't a necklace. You know how the Goddess gave Alanna the coal necklace and th Badger gave Daine the claw? Yup. Well, so I wanted a handprint. Then, continuing with Tamora Pierce's example I made it silver because you know how the gods 'shimmer silver' and etc. So theres the reasoning. And, oh my, I hope you aren't dissapointed with what I have planned. I am very much a simpleton and probably don't have something planned as great as you would have it done.

**Clair-a-net –** Nope, the voices in her head wasn't Fate. It was just good ol' fashioned 'I'm-talking-to-myself' lol.

**On top of Cloud 9 -** Does anyone else know that she is supposed to marry Liam? (yes, I'm actually going to answer that, sorta) Yes and no. They do not particularly know _Arra_ was supposed to marry him. But as Semarra . . . well, I think that's all I can allow myself to anwer. Giving away more would make you lose attention to later chapters.

And thank you to everyone who gave me a happy birthday. :D


	13. Sickness?

A/N: Chapter thirteen. . . lucky number to my dear sister. Yet to the rest of the world considered unlucky so I found it fitting Arra have an odd combination of both. So, sorry to say, this goes kinda fast, okay a lied a bit. It goes extremely fast.

Haha. I'm so weird. So I was looking at how many hits I had and for chapter 12 I had 48 right? So I thought to myself. Hey, why not just wait till I have fifty? That should be fun. So here you are! lol. Sorry, I just do random things like that sometimes.

Disclaimer: This is sooooo annoying. The almighty Tamora Pierce owns this. I do not. And if I did, I'd probably run it right into the ground. haha. But there are certain things/people that do belong to me so be kind and don't steal.

**x..:..x**

The weeks dragged on and the more Arra tried to keep up with daily comings the more tired she found herself to be. Suddenly, showing far too much facial expression became more work than needed. The days, Arra was sure, grew longer only to torture her. Eventually, those torturous weeks spun into months and the pages came back. Though by then the palace healers had nearly resorted to restraints to keep Arra in bed where she needed to be. After a while however, she no longer had the strength to fight them and stayed in bed not only because they wished it but because she could no longer get up if she tried.

Arra slept most of the day, everyday, and when she woke a membrane of drowsiness still draped her. At Damien's return he wasn't pleased to find his former pupil in no better state than he left her. Still throughout her obviously declining health the healers could find nothing wrong. In her moments of wake, they tried to make her eat as she had consumed very little and they hoped perhaps that could add to _some _of the lack of energy.

She didn't know the prince visited her often. Though at one point she'd seen him. Waiting beside her bed. "Liam?"

He smiled. "Yes. How are you feeling?" His tones were gentle.

Arra thought serisously for a moment. _Dead. I feel dead. _Tears stung as she realized what exactly it was she felt, as if pieces of her were floating away, out of her reach. Life itself was slipping through her fingers like water in a fruitless cuphold of the hands. _My very life force feels like it is slowly being taken from me._

One tear fell. "Liam, I think I'm dying."

The tears fell away in her mind and once again sleep claimed her. She hadn't the chance to see the sadness in Liam's face at the thought of her death.

**XxX**

Still Arra somehow kept up with her daily spells of concealment. _They'd notice something if I didn't. That would be too much for them to handle while I am ill I'm sure. _Until one day she awoke to a shock. Her Gift, whittled down to nothing more than a candle flame of crystal blue light. "M-my Gift!" she croaked.

Not a day passed when there was not a healer in her rooms and, more often than not, a visitor. It seemed more a challenge, Arra thought irritably, to find a healer who might have some inkling as to what ailed her. She'd seen most in Tortall, or rather they had seen her for she hadn't been awake for a number of them.

Today their was a fairly young healer taking vigil beside her. "Here have some water."

Arra was about ready to throw the water across the room with her mounting frustration that he didn't treat this as more of a crisis. As far as she'd known, her Gift had never been so diminished. Though she drank deeply knowing she needed it.

"Now, what is it?" The woman healer asked.

"My Gift . . . there's nothing left."

The healer was silent for a moment before saying. "I don't think that's normal. I'll alert Duke Baird."

When the Duke himself appeared Arra was sitting up in bed, an unusual sight that had not been seen within the last few weeks. Her eyes, previously downcast, shifted upward towards the Chief healer.

"Arra, you should be resting."

"I've had enough resting!" She exlcaimed. Inwardly Baird found this to be a good sign. She'd barely shown feeling since she'd been the closest to healthy. "I've noticed my Gift becoming smaller for a while now. But was too exhausted to say anything before now."

Arra could feel herself becoming more awake. The fog that seemed constantly around her dispersed only a bit.

"Arra, we are not going to jump to conclusions. Rest, and we'll see how you are feeling when you wake."

She reluctantly agreed and slipped into the first restful sleep.

**xXx**

King Jonathan had been asked to be kept updated on the odd occurances of Arra's illness so that's exactly where Duke Baird was headed. He knocked and was admitted into the king's study. There he found Numair speaking with the him.

"What news do you bring me today?" Jonathan said not looking up from his work.

"I've already told you about Arra's Life force growing smaller. And today she tells us her Gift is all but gone."

Numair chose this point to cut in. "That _is _peculiar. Do you think perhaps I could take a look at her?"

"But you aren't a healer mage," Duke Baird said.

"Perhaps you are having the wrong mages look at her." The war mage's voice held the slightest hint of grimness.

**xXx**

"_What have you gotten yourself into this time?" A familiar old voice asked Arra._

"_What do you mean?" Arra asked._

_Though she could see nothing she could _feel_ Fate shake her head. "Be _yourself _and nothing more." The presence started to fade._

"_What about the handprint?"_

"_No one can see it but you." _

"_W-will I recover?" Arra asked. But it was too late Fate was gone._

Arra cracked her eyes open, not because of any shock, but because she could not longer sleep. Her energies had been restored like any other sleep should be. She sat up in bed.

"Good morning Arra, or rather, good afternoon."

She turned to face him. "Master Numair?"

He nodded. She'd seen him few times before now and noticed not much had changed. He still owned black eyes and hair pulled into a horsetail.

"Where's one of the healer mages that's always beside me?"

"Duke Baird is over there if need be but right now I'd like to take a look at you." Numair explained. Arra looked and indeed the Duke was waiting on the opposite side of the room.

"What exactly to you mean, 'take a look at me' ?" Arra asked.

"I want to look at your Gift and such. All of this seems to odd for me to believe it to be normal." Arra agreed to let him 'look' into her.

It was an unusual feeling. Like someone literally snaking through your mind reminding Arra of an earthworm through dirt. She wasn't sure how long it lasted but when it was finally done she was glad.

His face held a look of thoughtfulness and even a bit of surprise. Numair formed a question. "Does your Gift usually have a dark streak?"

She shook her head. "No, crystal blue. That's it."

"I figured. It didn't read the same as yours. Though it was hard to tell much at all. Your Gift, it's different." he said. "But if this is what I think it is someone is putting a spell on you. Though I can't tell where it is coming from. The other magic seems to be losing its hold though. To further prevent something like this I'd like to give you protection against this particular Gift."

Arra was shocked. Someone had been doing this to her? Why? "S-sure."

Numair said words Arra could not understand and he made a hand motion then said he was done. "So how do you feel now?"

Arra thought for a moment. "Hungry." That wasn't all. She also felt a little empy without the abundance of her Gift. But she figured that was to be expected. _It feels too odd. To be up and awake only a day after I was bedridden and too tired to do anything._

They set her up with food in bed and left. _Probably going to talk about me. _She took her first bite just as Damien walked in with a grin on his face.

"What?" She asked thickly through food.

"Don't 'what' me! Your up and awake!" He hugged her tightly.

"Get off me, I'm trying to eat!" She said but once again he just beamed. Arra scrunched her nose. "You make it sound like I returned from the grave."

He sat down in a chair that had been placed next to her bed. "For a while, that's where everyone thought you were headed, Arra." He glanced up at her seeing her only slightly shocked face. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"No, no. I thought I'd . . . die, too. I just wasn't expecting you to say it," She said. Arra found her food again and quickly changed the subject. "I can't believe there was a time when I didn't want to eat."

The Pheonix laughed when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

A male healer stuck his head in the door. "Lady Arra--"

"I'm no lady." She cut in.

"M--"

"Or Miss. Just Arra." Damien was laughing.

The healer nodded. "Duke Baird says for you to rest."

"I think I've rested enough!"

He smiled. "He said you would say that so Master Numair said that your Gift needs time. Perhaps tomorrow you should be well enough to try and walk."

Arra rolled her eyes. "Alright."

**XxX**

The next few days went by well in Arra's opinion, well except for people constantly coming in and out of her room to see if she was well, to give her a check up. Eventually, she started walking though she had to have help in the beginning. First only walking around her room then moving for small excursions through the palace. She'd get such comments as "Nice to see you out again." and "hope your health returns in full."

But one thing troubled her. In all of this where was Liam? She hadn't seen him once. _What am I thinking? I should be happy. Right?_

The next day Arra decided to start a regimin to get back into shape. Duke Baird said she could do with a little more rest but she waved it away saying the sooner she got back to exercising the better she'd feel. She woke up early and got badages to wrap around her hands extending up her forearm and then wrapped her feet up her calves even bound her breasts tighter to hold them. She was going down to the practice courts barefoot. She slid the the breeches over the wrappings an donned an undyed cotton shirt. Finishing by putting her hair into a bun she opened the door.

Arra was thrown off and completely surprised when someone pulled her into an embrace.

"Arra I'm glad you're okay." Came the breathy voice of Liam. "I had to leave with my knightmaster for a while and I come back to find you healthy again."

She pushed out of his arms. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. And I'm going down to practice."

She walked past him but he followed. "You don't have your spells on anymore." It was true. After everything had happened she gave up on putting them on. People noticed but most thought she had just healed from whatever she had _very_ nicely. Arra nodded to confirm his accusation.

Liam seemed torn between staying and questioning her on everything and leaving. "I really need to get back to my knightmaster." He waved and left.

She found Damien on the fields stretching; she followed his lead and also stretched.

"So are you ready to once again become my student?" Damien asked good humoredly.

"However much I wish I could say no and walk away. . ." She grinned. Damien shook his head and they began. He started her out with simple kicks and punches. After he moved on to more complex combinations of ducking, punching and rolls. He had her practice them over and over again, shouting them out and she would do them. He picked up the pace; anyone listening might've just heard rambling but Arra could understand and worked herself to continue.

"Okay, Arra, that's enough for now we'll continue if your feeling up to it after we eat." Damien said pulling everything into a halt.

"I can keep going!" Came Arra's indignant reply.

"You've never known when to stop pushing yourself. You just got back from a long time off of all of this, whether you feel you can go on you shouldn't. You can't under exercise and then over exercise. That's what most people have problems with. They think if they over exercise they'll get back into shape better, but that's hardly ever the case." Damien waited only a few seconds before continuing. "Enough reasons for you?"

Arra shrugged. "Even if it wasn't, you'd probably knock me out just to get me to stop."

"Probably? I thought you knew me better than that. Of course I would." He grinned and they left to eat. Arra didn't talk much and was happy with her new found appetite. But while her mouth was filled with food that didn't stop her thoughts from wandering back to problems that have long bothered her.

_I had been under a spell? That was my 'sickness'? But how did they pinpoint me? They couldn't have locked onto my Gift. I know that much. A- are these the same people as before?_

**xXx**

"Jon, I don't understand it. Both Gifts were connected in some way."

"You mean like a leeching spell?" The king asked, genuinly interested in the topic.

"No, it had some of the characteristics of a leeching spell but it was different. More complex. It was from a very long distance away. This kind of spell is very difficult. It not only stole away her Gift but was --"

"I know, I know, Numair. Seeping away her life also."

"You don't find that at all odd?" He asked. "She would have died had the spell stayed in tact for a few more days or so. I'm surprised she's recovered so fast after such a close brush with death."

"Of course I find it odd, but important people are often put under spells like that." He asnwered calling upon his own memories of attempts at his life.

"My point exactly. Who would go to such extents to kill her? And why her?"

But the question remained unanswered for neither of the great minds could come up with a plausible reason why someone with such obvious power would want this one small Shang girl dead.

**x..:..x**

A/N: Wow, can you say rushed much? Sorry bout that guys. But it was either that or give you a couple of short chapters that tell you close to nothing and drag on . . . blah blah blah. I figured you guys didn't need that. And as for the combination of good and bad. She got worse but she also got better. Things will also go fast in the next chapter too I think. . .

Once again if the pace is too much to handle I apologize! I don't think I can stress enough how much I am dissapointed in myself and the next like three chapters. HOLY CRAP. I think I might have writers block is it when you know what you want to happen you just don't know how to get there? Like how to get from point A to point B? Well, know what? I'm just gonna fast forward to point B . . .

As I've said before, I didn't like this chapter. But it had to be done. By the way, I do believe the next chapter is a few weeks possibly a month after this point.

Alright, home skillets, I gotta go. Homework to do. Peace out!


	14. Birthday Presents

A/N: Haha. I made Liam a lefty. Ug, school just barely starts and I've already got three progects due. One for biology, geography, and stupid geometry. Okay, I'm making my updates a bit more specific. I decided to update on the weekends. I'm swamped during the week. Trying to fit in a shower and get a good amount of sleep is getting hard, that's pretty sad.

This one's pretty long (well long to me) as a future 'fogive me' for the next two chapters.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own . . . stop bothering me about it. I already understand I don't own this. Well I own a few of the things on this. But not much.

**x..:..x**

"Come on Liam! Your guard is weak on your right side!" Arra called as she watched him sparring with a fellow squire.

"Could you do better?" He called back.

She shrugged. "I dont know. Watch out! What did I tell you about your right side! For all that you're almost a knight, too!" Arra would've stood and fixed it that instant had an odd noise not presented itself. It was a almost a screech and yet part squawk. Arra turned around to inspect the sound but saw nothing until she heard it again. This time she followed the sound to a group of boys. "What's going on here?"

Three boys seperated quickly.

"Well?"

"Nothing miss. Just a bit of fun." One answered. Arra took another step closer and found something in their midst.

"And what is this?" She whispered. She lifted up something very soft. It was a bird barely into adolesence with some patches of fuzzy feathers. Though the feathers that seemed more permanent were blue. Blue on the outside, on top of the head and wings but not on the underside. The underside was white with black specks. The tip of his beak was a deep blue that as it got closer to the head it faded into white. Even it's talons – in quite a contrast because of a bright yellow color – owned grey claws that shined blue. "Daine would have your heads, the lot of you."

The eldest of the lot came forward. "Give him back. We caught him fair and square with our bows. He belongs to us."

It was then Arra noticed they had indeed harmed the creature. One of it's wings bled on her hand from just a graze. _Though enough, no doubt, to bring it out of flight long enough for them to capture it._ "Daine would probably have _my _head if I left him in the possesion of you three."

She walked away cradling the bird of prey against her shirt without another word and also ignoring the boys' curses aimed towards her. _Now what do I do? I've got an injured bird here. . . a large bird. Since Numair is here, Daine is more than likely at there home caring for their children. So basically, I'm in a bit of a fix._

The bird make another sound causing her to look at it. It's eyes held intelligence and seriousness that any bird of prey should. "And what exactly am I supposed to do with you, hm?" The bird cocked it's head to one side. _I can't very well ride to Daine myself. And Numair seems like he might be staying a while longer. I don't want to send him back for a bird. . . So I'll just have to do the best I can._

"Arra, what've you got there?" Liam asked, wiping sweat off his brow.

"A bird." Arra answered simply.

"Let me see him." He holds out his hands. At first Arra was reluctant until he rolls his eyes. "My aunt is _the_ Wildmage. I think I know something about birds."

She hands him over and the large bird made only a peep. Liam studied him for a while lifting the bird above his head to look under it and finally made an assumption. "He should heal up nicely on his own. Though I have never seen a bird like this. It looks like a type of falcon, but I've never known them to be blue."

"So, he'll be fine?"

"Should be. Are you going to keep him? He looks like a good one." The way Liam held him reminded Arra of the way one might hold a chicken, around the wings to keep them from flapping.

Arra shook her head rapidly. "I was more hoping he could be set free again."

"We'll ask Daine."

"She's here?"

"Not exactly, but Numair's leaving today he can take your friend to her." Liam said.

"Only if your sure."

"It'll be alright."

The very next thing Arra did was take the blue falcon to Numair who readily agreed to take him on. "I'm sure Daine'll be happy to see to him," was his answer.

With nothing else to do, Arra just wandered around. _I feel so useless. There's nothing for me to do with the pages off and Lindhall busy with . . . whatever he's doing. Actually I think he's working on an experiment._

Arra could feel the unbearable weight of boredom making its way to her slowly like a cloud. There really was nothing to do. With the pages out for the summer she had no one to really teach. She sighed and decided to find a way to keep busy. At seeing Ghost's saddle she grabbed it mentally saying this was a good thing as any other to start on. She brought it to her rooms and settled down with a needle and strong special thread. Arra was just about to begin when she realized working indoors didn't sit right with her. So in one swift movement she brought everything outside to work.

Someone, she didn't know who, said a long time ago that she had the ability to sew fine embroideries if she tried. She never had but the woman had been commenting on her work with the saddle. Fine, strong, sure stiches held together ever inch of it. Arra looked over the saddle, noting in her mind the places that needed attention the most and the ones that could wait. Sighing yet again that day she laid the heavy saddle on her lap and began work.

Arra pressed the needle into the leather and fell into the rhythmic movements. That was how she saw everything. In rhythm. It made things easier. From moving her sword to darning her socks. She had come to a point in sword fighting that the swings and slashes were no longer singular attacks but part of a greater pattern. _Just like life, _she though pulling the needle, _everyone and everything is part of something greater and bigger than them whether they know it or not._

After mending the last bit of her saddle she looked over it one last time. Sad to say, it looked as close to perfect as any saddle could get leaving her with not much to do.

"I think it looks fine." Arra had been so concentrated she hadn't noticed the approach of Queen Thayet.

"Your Majesty. How are you today?" She said quickly.

The queen nodded, she wore a simple attire consisting of breeches and a shirt. _Though_, Arra thought to herself not in the least bitter, _even the least of her clothes are finer than any commoners._ "I'm doing fine. I saw you out here working. How are you?"

Arra sighed. "I'm okay. Just trying to find something to do today, I'm not even going to worry about tomorrow just yet." She grinned.

"So you've nothing to do?"

"Nothing at all, unless you count the neccessity to mend a few shirts, which I won't because it's not pleasant business." Arra said with another smile.

Thayet took a seat next to Arra. "I was thinking perhaps I'd take you up on an offer you proposed to me some months ago, then."

Arra really was lost. What proposal? She couldn't remember. "I'm sorry. I truly am. But I remember very little details from before the sickness struck me."

The queen laughed lightly. "Yes, I'd expect that. You _did_ ask me to remind you."

At those words something unburied itself in her memories. "Oh! You mean the riding lessons!" Thayet nodded, her smile still present. "Name when and I'll try my best to teach you."

"I should be saying that to you."

Arra laughed outright just then. "If you left the decision to me it'd never get done. I'm a bit forgetful and would no sooner forget he date I myself named."

Thayet chuckled a bit. "I see, does now work for you? I'm free at the moment."

"Indeed it does. And you're in luck, I've just finished my saddle," And as an afterthought she added. "And I think Ghost could use an exercise, she's gone far too long without a rider. She'll be fat by now!"

Thayet laughed and they walked together to find Ghost. _I didn't actually think she'd take up my offer. I don't mind teaching her though. It's just odd. Teaching someone older than you something._ When they reached Ghost, she pushed her snout into Arra's clothes searching for something.

"I don't have any treats for you. Not today. Come on, look alive. Time for you to actually do something." Ghost snorted at Arra but obeyed all the same. She placed the saddle on the mare and secured it. "Alright, that should about do it," She tightened one more strap. "And she should be ready to mount."

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that?" The question stumped Arra momentarily. She herself just sort of . . . hopped on. _This is going to be harder than I thought. Next time someone wants to learn how to ride maybe I'll just say no. _"How do you do it?"

"I . . . jump on. Your must forgive me, I've never taught my riding to anyone before." Her lessons did not get any easier from there. When they finally did get the queen on she wasn't used to having no reins to hold on to and consequently tightened her legs to assure herself she'd stay atop. But in doing so she triggered Ghost to move forward.

"I feel like a child learning to ride again." Thayet commented. Arra laughed. The day proved close to useless in Arra's opinion, though not completely. The most progress Arra had made was that the queen could now sit comfortably and make Ghost move forward one step. But Thayet made it clear she meant to pursue this feat. Arra's respect for her grew at that and also her gratitude. Thayet had given her something to do for a portion of the long boring days.

Since that first day Arra hadn't thought much about that blue falcon. She woke up early one morning to a ticking sound. Blearily she opened her eyes and after rubbing them down followed the sound to her window. Arra jumped back in surprise. There it was, head cocked to one side, the blue falcon. Upon closer inspection she noticed a small sheet of paper clipped to it's leg. _Question on how it got here? Flew. But how did it find my window?_

Arra opened the window and let the bird in. He looked much better than in the state she had left him last, she noted. Taking the note carefully from its leg, it read :

_Arra, _

_The bird you found is doing fine. Though, when I tried to set him free he said he'd much rather go back with you. He doesn't have a name but he said he'd gladly take any you wanted to give him. He's yours now!_

_Daine_

"What?" She looked to the bird. "No, no, no. Surely you want to be free and fly around?" He ruffled his feathers and continued to search her room. _Daine clearly said he wanted to be with me so there's no giving him away or letting him go. So what to do? Killing him is not an option. _Arra sighed in defeat. "Fine, if you're going to stay I suppose you need a name."

A knock sounded at the door. Arra answered it ignoring the sounds of—was that happiness?--from the bird.

"Good morning Arra." Damien said with a smile. "And happy birthday!"

"What?" She'd completely forgotten.

"Happy birthday! I've asked Thayet to relieve you of your teaching duties so we can go into the city." He smiled again. She nodded dumbly. Eighteen. She let him enter as she changed in the bathroom and washed her face.

"Ouch!" Arra heard as she re-entered the room. She laughed at the predicament. The blue bird atop Damien's head was picking at his head with a hard beak. "Where did this thing come from?"

Arra's laughing settled down. "Came this morning, apparently I've got a new border in my room though I haven't a name for him yet."

"You're keeping this thing?"

She nodded and handed him the note while explaining.

"Ah, well that helps me anyhow. Gives me more options on what to give you."

"Damien I don't want anything." She said seriously for a moment.

He shrugged and they headed out. They decided to walk, nothing like a nice walk to wake you up in the morning. They set an easy pace and reached the main part of the city in a few hours. The blue falcon flew over them the whole way.

"So what do you plan to name him?" Damien said motioning up to the bird.

"I don't know."

"How about, Great Annoyance In My Side? Then for short you could call him G.A.I.M.S." He suggested.

"I don't think so. I was actually thinking of naming him 'Cobalt'. I rather like that." Arra had been thinking through the whole walk about a name, and Cobalt had been the best she could come up with.

He smiled. "Cobalt it is then," He said steering her into the first shop of the day.

"Ah, Damien. I've got what you ordered, it's just come in today I'll go fetch it." The shopkeeper said.

Arra raised a brow. "Ordered? Now what would you need to order?"

"That's a secret, my little chickadee." He said accepting a box from the man. "Onward, to more exciting stores."

She groaned, "You aren't going to buy me anything are you? I've told you year after year, I don't need or want anything."

"And year after year I ignore you. Plus I've got the past years to make up for." Damien said with another smile. _He's not going to stop smiling is he? _The Pheonix explored many shops keeping Arra in tow until he found one he seemed to like.

"What are we going to do _here_?"

"Getting you gloves. With a falcon, we can't let your arms get all torn now can we?" He said, looking for a pair he liked.

"If I'm going to be getting gloves, I'll buy them." She said.

He laughed. "I think not. Here try these on." She obeyed. It was a very dark, thick leather. She frowned. "You're right, they don't fit you. We need to find some that will fit those tiny hands well."

"I do _not_ have tiny hands!"

"Yes you do."

"Can I help the both of you?" The man, more than likely the owner, asked.

"Yes, we need to find bird handling gloves that will--" Damien took a hold of one of Arra's hands, "--fit these small hands." The owner smiled. "In perferably a light color."

"I think I have what you're looking for." He left.

Arra tore her hand away. "Why a light color?"

"If the bird scratches it, and he will, it won't show up as easily as on dark leather." He said matter-of-factly just as the shopkeeper returned with a box just a bit larger than the other box Damien received.

"Here you are." He opened the box and inside lay surprisingly delicate looking gloves in a very light tan, creamy color. The stiches at the end were dark blue. "Women of many great houses like to have carrier birds. These types of gloves were made for such."

"Try them on Arra don't expect the man to just hold them there all day." Damien said with a pleased smile. Arra took one and slipped it onto her hand. It was very soft, though it would take some time for it to become comletley flexible, and it fit her hand well. They easily reached up her forearm and almost up to her elbow. And to her delight, they were very thick, good for protection.

"We'll take them. Arra wait outside." The gloves were placed back in the box and Damien left to pay for them. _Wait outside? . . . oh, I get it. He doesn't want me to know the price._ She stuck out her tongue but obeyed. _He shouldn't be buying me things. Especially things I should be buying on my own._

"Where to next?"

"Back to the palace." Arra said dully.

Damien laughed. "I don't think so. Come on, you should be happy. It's your birthday!"

"I am happy, can't you tell?" She smiled. Though they spent a few more hours browsing, through all of that time Arra complained until Damien finally said they could leave. Arra had to convince him not to buy a stand for Cobalt because she was still a Shang and when she traveled it wouldn't be helpful at all.

"So you do plan to leave then?" He asked on there way back.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, just asking I suppose. You seem close to the Prince."

Arra looked at him suspiciously. "What are you getting at?"

Damien gave her a look and she gave him one back as if to say 'what?'. He sighed. "Just . . . be careful. He's a prince Arra."

"Damien! We are friends. That's it. Men and women _can _be friends without romantic or sexual appeal." Arra's temper rising. Why did he have to bring something like that up?

"I'll trust you on that." He said but in a lower voice he thought Arra couldn't hear said, "but I know how a man's mind works."

She tried to kick him but he jumped over her foot. "We'll have none of that." He laughed and Arra joined him, they stepped into Arra's room. "Here, this is for your birthday," He handed her the gloves, "and this is my goodbye present."

Arra looked up into his eyes as he gave her the first box he had gotten. "Goodbye?"

He nodded. "I figured it's about time I left."

_I knew he wouldn't stay forever. _She smiled. "Until the next time our paths cross then."

He returned the smile warmly. "Indeed." Damien pulled her into a hug. "Now don't open that until I leave," He grinned.

"When are you leaving?"

"Now."

"Wha-" But she was cut off by a knock at the door. _The . . . door._ She thought evilly. And as she opened it Damien stepped out swiftly with a smile and a wave. She opened her mouth to object but found herself currently engaged with a visitor. Though he seemed to be confused.

"He's leaving." She said simply. "Would you like to come in, Liam?"

He grinned. "No, I actually wanted to know if you were up to a spar."

Arra was about ready to decline when she decided maybe it would clear here head for a moment. "That would be nice." She walked out with the box still in her hand.

"What is that?"

"Oh." She held up the box. "It's a present."

"For who?"

"Me." She searched the box. "For my birthday. How am I supposed open it?"

"It's your birthday?" He laughed. "And me without a present."

"Oh, please don't. I don't want anything. I would've stopped him . . . if I could have. Even then I'm sure he wouldn't have cared." She took in a good amount of air. "No present can be your present."

Liam shrugged undecisively. Arra gave him a look that went unnoticed but continued on. "So what kind of spar would you like tonight? Swords, staffs, body?"

"How about staffs first?"

"Fine with me." Still looking for a way to open the box she asked. "Do you think Damien's gone by now?"

"We can check when we get out there, why?"

"Damien said I couldn't open it until he was gone," Realizing that didn't sound exactly right she ammended. "though I am in no hurry for him to leave."

He nodded as they took a turn for the practice fields. Getting frustrated with the box she muttered. "I'm sure he found this box especially just to annoy me!"

"Here let me see." Arra handed it to Liam. He looked at it for a few moments before he said. "Right there. You should be able to open if from there."

She frowned. "Well, don't I feel stupid?" Liam chuckled.

She did as she was told and opened it from where he had instructed. Seeing it's contents she gasped and stopped mid-step. "What is it?" Liam asked. Gingerly, she lifted gloves out of the box they had an insignia. The Shang orb with a bright red bird that seemed almost to be in flames, though the bird was only present on one glove the other had only an orb.

"Firebird." She breathed tears welled in her eyes but she wiped them away. "I'm sorry Liam."

"No, no, it's alright."

Arra lifted a note from the box and read aloud.

"_Arra the Shang Firebird. Has a nice ring to it doesn't it? Yes, that would have been your Name, I decided maybe you should know but don't forget who you are_."

"To think someone as lowly as me sparring with the Shang Firebird." Liam commented.

Arra smiled. "Lowly! Hardly! A prince!" Liam grinned. "And I'm not the Shang Firebird."

"Are you still up to a spar?"

She grinned. "Of course." _How he lifted my spirits in such a short time I'll never know. _She set the box down far enough so that it wouldn't get in their way but sill close enough to keep an eye on. Liam handed her a staff. She weighed it.

"Hm, let me see that one." He handed it over. "I like this one better." She decided handing Liam her reject. A smile stuck to Liam's face as he watched her walk a few steps away and take up a stance. "Well, come on then don't keep me waiting here like this."

The prince attacked. Arra blocked him and then tripped him with a swing to his legs. "Now, don't make this _too_ easy."

They went back into position and this time Arra attacked. Liam seemed to deal with this better as the fight lasted longer. He blocked and retaliated. After a few minutes, though, his eyes focused on her swaying hair and he noticed how the slight flush of her cheeks accented her looks. In his moment of distraction he found himself on the ground once again.

She looked down at him with a frown. "Maybe the staff isn't working for you." She held out a hand and helped him up.

"I think you just took the good one." He said smiling. She rolled her eyes.

"Few more? Without the staffs?" She inquired. He nodded.

They fell into the punches and dodges. But, why couldn't he focus on the fight? He sidestepped another punch but only barely. She was on the verge of grinning. Nothing went through his head with his next movement. It was instinctive. He pulled her to him and without even a thought pressed his lips to hers.

**x..:..x**

A/N: I never, ever said I was a nice person. How many chapters of romantic tension(well for you guys anyways)? Lets see next chapter how Arra reacts, eh? Will she accept, and give in to deep, animalistic passion? Find out sooner by reviewing!

The bird idea came primarily from another story I've written a good portion of, she has a falcon too. But its a gyr falcon. Fun! I love the whole animal-partner thing. It's in almost all of Tamora Pierce's books I think.

Know what I was thinking? Liam spelled backwards is mail. Haha. Mail.

My, my. Liam kissed Arra. I guess Liam isn't as well trained as we thought. Let's see what reviewers have to say about that . . .

REVIEW!


	15. Thoughts and happenings

A/N: Okay, I'm not very adept in horse names and colors etc, so you guys will have to endure my simpleton version of explaining them. Lol. Short! So terribly short is this chapter! I am ashamed of myself. I think the next will probably be the same length. Sorry guys. Both of these I want to end in a certain place.

I really shouldn't be updating, as I have tried to stay five chapters ahead and I'm still on chapter 17 but! You guys are soooo awesome with reviews. So heres the chappie. (See? I told you reviewing makes me get it out earlier.)

**Disclaimer:** This belongs to Tamora Pierce. All hail Tamora Pierce. The stuff you don't recognize belongs to me.

**x..:..x**

As a Shang, she'd been in many fights. Her reflexes were honed close to perfect. And yet here she was surprised and stiff. It's not like she had never been kissed before, no, Joel had kissed her many times. But there had always been something, something she couldn't quite put her finger on, missing. Joel had always been like a friend to her, and no matter how many times he kissed her that was all she could think of him.

_No! This is what I did NOT want to happen! What gives him the right to kiss me? Prince or not. _Arra pushed him away and without a word picked up her box with the gloves in it and stormed away.

"Arra wait . . ."

"No, I don't think I will." She said coldly.

"Arra," He was closer now, "will you just wait? Look--"

Arra spun to face him. "No, you listen to me! I am not one of your court ladies you can kiss whenever you fee like it. I will not just swoon over you. And, contrary to priar belief, I do not _want_ to kiss you."

Liam grab her arm to stop her from leaving once again. She twisted out of his hold easily though and continued her stride.

"Arra, I'm sorry. It was just . . . spur of the moment—" But once again he was cut off.

"Spur of the moment! We were doing nothing romantic to _spur _any moments!" She entered the building and the conversation was dropped because someone might overhear. Arra went straight to her rooms refusing to think about anything. Though, at the moment she wasn't sure she'd be able to organize them. Her thoughts were much in the state of her emotions, a jumbled swirl.

Arra, slipped off her boots and changed into something more comfortable to sleep in, she had her blankets ready for her when she heard a tapping at the window. She looked and found her blue falcon there. She let him in and he immediately flew to the chair by her desk. "So what do you think about the name Colbalt?" She said softly.

He screeched, but it was a softer sound on in agreement. She smiled faintly, "Then Cobalt it is."

She went into her bed and snuggled down into it. Arra found the most comfortable spot and still sleep did not come but, unbidden as they usually are, thoughts did come.

_Mistake! From the very beginning it was a mistake. From the moment I came into Tortall I should've read the signs. I was shot by an unknown person with a poisoned arrow! My second mistake was accepting to teach and my third, and most terrible one, was accepting _his_ offer for a spar and being in any way kind. Argh! I'm such an idiot!_

Arra's fingers found their way to her lips. _His kiss was . . . different from Joel's._ She realized what she was doing, had she been close to admitting liking his kiss? She shook the thought away and, finally, went to sleep.

The next few weeks Arra forced herself to stay busy, from helping Thayet learn her way of riding and practicing with Cobalt. That was where she was now. She lifted her gloved hand up into the air and whistled she heard a loud screech overhead and not too long later Cobalt could be seen flying towards her. He landed well enough on her arm his wings still outspread. Over the few days he'd been with Daine he had lost all of his childish fluff and now owned hard blue and white feathers.

"That's very good, Cobalt." She cooed handing him a treat from a pouch she kept now.

"You're getting quite good at that." Thayet commented.

"Thank you." Arra said with a smile. "You yourself are becoming very talented in the art of riding without a bridle."

"I doubt I'll ever be _talented_, that alone belongs to you being the inventor of such. But I believe I've got the hang of it." She started. "Which is why I asked Onua a special favor."

Arra raised her brow. A favor? What kind of favor? But she didn't ask aloud instead she threw her hand up into the air to set Cobalt off again and waited for Thayet to continue.

"I wasn't sure if it mattered but better safe then sorry right? I asked her to bring a Karucian horse—"

Arra was to surprised to keep her mouth shut. "And she succeded?" She was surprised. Karucians were very protective of their large breed of horses.

Thayet smiled. "Yes, I believe she did. I would like you to see it. I believe he's quite young and I'd like you to train him."

Train him? "Let's see to it then." The queen slid down off of Ghost and led Arra to a different set of stables Ghost following along obediantly. Onua also appeared and further led them to the right place.

"He is _magnificent._" Arra breathed. Before her stood a horse of large breed, very deep red color and a white strip down his head. "Is he a mean one?"

"No, actually he has a very nice disposition." Onua said. Arra nodded. Then on remembering blew into his nostrils, they flared for a moment but that was all.

"I'm going to check him out." She entered the stall carefully.

"You don't think I can choose a proper horse?"

"No, I want to see how he'll fare with this sort of riding," She stopped momentarily and looked up at Onua over the doorway of the stall, "Unless you'd like to check for that?"

Onua muttered something unhappily and Thayet grinned. Arra continued to follow the horse's muscles. Once before she had tried to teach a fine, but not Karucian, horse the riding but he hadn't been up to it. From then on she studied horses and found there were certain muscles to look for. She exited the stall smiling.

"A fine candidate," Arra looked back at the horse and said, "I can start tomorrow on him if you'd like."

"Start what?" Onua asked suspiciously.

"Training." Thayet said simply.

"You aren't going to train him to do tricks are you? Nothing odd. Because he is already partially trained for riding." Arra grinned towards Onua but said nothing.

_Cobalt should be waiting out here somewhere._ She turned a corner and found him perched on the gate further uncovering what the corner hid she also found Liam. She whistled and immediatley Cobalt took flight. He landed neatly on her gloved right hand; (she only wore one of the gloves so her left had was bare) she looked into his hazel eyes from that distance for a bit longer but when he took just one step to lessen the distance she turned on her heel away from him.

She could hear his feet pounding on the ground as he ran to catch up with her but she forced herself to keep her pace.

"Arra why won't you even hear what I have to say?" He asked.

She laughed a short humerless laugh. "It didn't occur to you someone might not want to listen to you?"

"Arra don't be like this."

"Like what?" She asked innocently. Then as if suddenly understanding something she added. "Like a commoner, perhaps?" _I'm not a commoner either . . . not really. But he doesn't need to know that!_

"How can you even say that?"

"Quite easily. Need me to say it again?"

"No Arra! I didn't know you'd take it like this! I'm sorry."

"How did you think I'd take it? Did . . . did you think I'd just as soon kiss you back, you'd say you loved me I'd say it back, and somehow you'd convince your parents to let you marry me and all would end happily? Hm? Well, things don't work that way. Yes, believe it or not, even as a _Prince_ you can't have everything you want." Arra had stopped walking and was talking very pointedly to Liam.

"I don't know what I thought, or think." He said softly, a bit of hurt apparent in his voice. And with a very small pang she noted he denied none of it.

"Oh, no. You were thinking. You were just thinking with what's in your breeches instead of what's in your head." With that she turned away and continued walking. Liam, too shocked by what she had said, did not follow.

Arra set Cobalt off again to find food for himself with instructions to just tap on her window.

Arra splashed some water on her face from a basin. She changed and hopped into bed. She covered her head with the cover and rolled up into a ball. It was then she let out a long sigh. _Why? Why couldn't he just let me be? All I wanted – no I didn't even want to come to Tortall. That was something I had to do._ A sudden chill ran through her and in the moment her hand flew to her chest landing on the Fate's Mark.

As though pulled somewhere else without her knowing it Arra found herself in the same grey plane she'd been to before.

"_Now, Arra, I've put up with a lot with you." The same Fate with the silver blue hair said. Her pits of eyes seemed to bore into Arra. But she stared back. _

_Fate took another step towards her. "It was my very own words, I believe, to accept the prince's affections. A kiss. A kiss can mean so much. Why do you push him away?"_

"_I do not _want_ his affections."_

_Fate frowned. And came closer still to Arra. She put one long finger on the bottom of Arra's chin and looked directly into her eyes. Arra could somehow see sadness in those black pits. "Please do not take this path. You will need his love above everything."_

"_If there is anything coming my way I can deal with in on my own. I don't need him." Arra said defiantly._

"_Strong words, my dear. Very strong words." Fate shook her head slightly. "We shall see."_

Arra sat up in bed gasping for air. There was an insistant tapping at her window. _Cobalt!_ She stood and let him enter though he first nipped her finger. "Ouch! Sorry, don't blame me!"

Arra went back to her comfortable bed determined to get some sleep. She closed her eyes and appeared to be asleep but her mind fought with itself. And one question made Arra think. _Why do I _need_ his love?_

**x..:..x **

A/N: Like I said, short. The next one will be around the same length I'm pretty sure. And I have an estimate for how long the whole story will be. Sadly, I think I'll be lucky to make it to 30 chapters. Well, I guess we'll just have to see, hm?

Sorry, Tinufuir, no spars in this chapter or the next, mostly just thoughts and such. But the one after that . . .


	16. Princely Troubles

A/N: Chapter 16 for all of you! Yay. Just like I said. On the weekend. Does anyone here think I should be waiting longer to put out my chapters? I don't know . . . its like I put a chapter out but too soon for some reviewers. What am I saying? You guys would hate me if I did that! Haha. SO! We reached 100 reviews. Never did I think I'd write a story that people would give me 100 reviews for. It literally did happen because of you. (At the end of the story I'm going to write down all of the reviewers so . . .yea. :D)

Ah, yes, it probably is. Thank you **On top of Cloud 9** for pointing that out to me. I'll change it as soon as possible! Like I said I'm not too adept in horse . . . anything. lol. Thank you again.

Disclaimer: Sir Gregor also belongs to me. If there is another one well then this ones different. Nothing here belongs to me except what you don't recognize.

**x..:..X**

"Oh, no. You were thinking. You were just thinking with what's in your breeches instead of what's in your head." She'd gotten him with that line. Liam had been to stunned to even move and instead was forced to watch her storm away. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. He leaned against the wall behind him.

Cursing aloud he thought to himself, I_s it really so bad kissing me? I understand she may not have wanted me to but why make so much out of it? Gods, why did I do that? I should've let it be. _

He shook his head causing some black hair to fall into his eyes. _How long will she be angry with me?_ He walked back to his room. Inside there was a bath waiting for him. It was hot. _I wonder how they knew._ Liam stripped down and slip into the water. He sighed.

"But she's wrong." He murmured. _I didn't just want to kiss her because she was another pretty woman. Had that been the case I could very well have my pick! But no, I didn't want to kiss just anyone. I wanted her. _

_I know she's a commoner._

_And I a prince._

_But if I could forget all of that, I'd be happy._

He sunk a bit deeper in the tub. It had first come in short spurts. When she turned her head just right showing off her jawbone. Or how she smiled a certain way that a glint came into her crystal blue eyes. Or when the light hit her just right, showing her cheekbones all the more. The little things that caught his eyes were to blame. Liam noticed the water was becoming cooler and decided to finish up. He scrubbed down and got out.

Liam put on some comfortable sleepware which consisted of the absense of a shirt. He flopped onto his bed and let out a considerable amout of breath. He fell asleep after a while and the next morning would remember Arra had been the core of his dreams.

He woke up the next morning to a knock at the door. For one fleeting second as he was opening the door he thought maybe it might be Arra. But as he opened it he found it was only his knightmaster, Sir Gregor.

"Liam, I need to attend to some business. It'll only be a day or two so I'll leave you here," Liam was about to object but his knightmaster continued. "I _should_ take you with me but it really isn't important enough."

Liam nodded in reluctant agreement. Sir Gregor nodded in approvement. "Good, then," And just before he turned away he added. "If you plan on leaving your room you may want to add a shirt to your attire." Liam smiled and closed the door after he left, but his mind wasn't near the subject of wearing a shirt. His mind skimmed over the fact that he'd be left without his knightmaster before returning to Arra and then bridging a connection between the two.

He sighed looking for clothes to wear thinking, _I thought maybe I'd have time away. Maybe by then Arra would've in the least cooled down. _"I suppose that plan won't be working out."

Lazily, with the morning air still around him, he opened his window. At the moment, he didn't care if there was a fair lady down below that might see his exposed chest and giggle. No, he just needed to see the day. A part of him hoped that clouds overhead were dark with impending rain, that the birds would've forgotten their song and the trees would look dull. Instead he met with the bright blue sky and wisps of cloud still pink with the rising sun. The birds played their concert and the trees reflected the early morning sun.

_Beautiful morning._ Liam thought dully, tiredly, but most of all with a bit of anger that the day had to be so opposite to his feelings. Luckily for him, there was no fair maiden below but instead his friend Lanchran.

"Oi! Liam! What are you doing walking around in near nothing! I'm sure the court ladies would love to see this!" He grinned up to Liam. The prince smiled. "Come down – dress first! - and we can meet some of these ladies."

"Lachran, I'm not much in the mood to play with women's hearts."

"When are you ever?" He questioned. "By the time I'm up there you better be decent!"

Liam changed and splashed water on his face. He was just about to take a seat when there was a knock at the door.

"Liam, come on now, you look glum." Did he always have to smile? They walked for a while until Lachran burst out. "What is the matter with you?"

"What do you mean?" He turned slowly to his friend.

Lachran's eyes widened as if realizing something. "Who is it?"

"What?"

"Oh come on. A man doesn't just act all sad for nothing. So, who's the Lady that has finally captured your attention?" He smiled. "I know, it was Lady Farica of Tenpost? Or possibly Lady Verity of Starbridge? Yes, she _is_ fine one isn't she? Quite a work of art."

_If only he knew how far off he was._ But he continued. "I woudn't understand it if you liked her, she's a bit of a teasing one."

"Lachran will you quiet down with your accusations?"

"But this is a big deal! Prince Liam has fallen for someone." Liam opened his mouth to protest that he'd liked women before this but Lachran stopped him. "This one's got you I can tell."

Liam gave him a sideways glance that must've set something off with Lachran.

"I knew it was a woman!"_ How can he tell? _Liam wondered, _with just a glance?_

The next few weeks Liam decidedly stayed away from Arra in hopes of possbly two things. One, she'd calm down enough to in the least talk to him again, or two, maybe his feelings would leave him.

Certain events took his mind temporarily off of Arra but did not make time pass any easier. Over the next few weeks, rumor passed that Prince Liam had fallen for a woman. The court Ladies who lived in the palace were all in a flutter with excitement. Each thinking, could it be me? When this rumor reached Liam's ear he immediatley went to Lachran, who claimed he told no soul.

Liam paced around his room. With a ball in the near future for his sister, Lianne's, birthday, he was in a foul mood. _Who could have heard? _He hit his forehead. _It's not like we were in a secluded area, anyone could have heard and spread it around._ A knock sounded from his door where a maid informed him that he was to get dressed.

Silk. It was beautifully dyed silk with intricacies sown into it. Deep down he found himself resenting even owning something so fine. Liam put on the clothes anyways and headed down to where the royal family would enter. Roald was arm in arm with his wife, Shinkokami as were his parents. The three younger simblings would walk in alone. Liam smiled when he reached Lianne. Secretly, he liked her above the other siblings. Maybe it was because she too had been born with hazel eyes instead of the blue that came from his father, but he told himself it was because she was the most fun, even if she was just now turning thirteen. Lianne was mature for her age.

He hugged her lightly, "Happy birthday, my dear sister."

She grinned. She wore a green themed dress that resembled something of a kimono. "Thank you, Liam."

Liam waved and took his place in line, behind Roald and his bride but in front of Jasson. Section by section, they were each announced as they entered. Upon Liam's turn, he wasn't nervous, why should he be? He'd done this plenty of times. What did upset him however was how the eyes of all the eligible women in the room were upon him, lustful looks apparent to anyone. Inwardly he groaned. At that moment he wanted to turn around and not face them at all.

_I can't do that, but I refuse to do _that_ as I know Roald might have._ In his opinion, Roald had been to cautious in his life. Liam would bet money that even his own father had not been so cautious and he had made a fine king.

For the first dance, Liam's father danced with Lianne. His mother danced with Jasson, the newly weds danced together and Liam was, to his horror, dragged away by one of the more forward Ladies. Verity of Starbridge.

She had bright yellow hair, that alone made him want to look away. She had pale grey eyes, as if her hair might have taken the energy from them. She had generous lips but other than that her face seemed almost bland. She didn't compare to Arra.

"Prince Liam! How old is your sister today?" Liam knew she knew how old she was. Who didn't?

"Thirteen." He said, bordering on being impolite.

A trend of this sort followed throughout the entire night. The women would flutter their eyes and start up conversations, or at least try to, and all he could do was compare them to Arra. One didn't have a nice enough smile to compare, another's features didn't do her justice as Arra's did, another didn't have quite the same blue eyes.

_I've got to stop this. Thinking about her every other second isn't going to help me. _

Liam had a break from the vulture-like women when Lianne decided to dance with him; she'd already danced with her other two borthers.

"Liam, are you ever going to introduce me to this Shang girl?" She asked.

He hid a frown. Liam had promised her he would introduce her to Arra. Lianne had been so excited. "I'm afraid that plan might not be working out."

"Lover's quarrel?"

"What?" Liam said, shocked to almost taking a mis-step.

Lianne giggled. "Anyone who can't tell something's between you two can't be too bright."

_Or maybe you are just extremely bright. No one else has even implied that I might like her._ Liam laughed, possibly a little too loud. "You see things that aren't there, Lianne. We w—are friends, nothing more." He'd been close to saying 'were'.

"Whatever you say. If you ever need to confide in anyone—someone to trust completely anyways—I'm here for you." At that note the song ended and she curtsied before a new partner claimed her again.

The ball long over, Liam went for a walk, not bothering to change. _Maybe I shouldn't, I could be swarmed._

He walked with his eyes cast down to the ground. But when he lifted them he found none other than Arra. Her back was facing him and she was sitting cross-legged on the ground looking up to the sky. He followed where she was looking. The stars shone, brightly throbbing. Had he ever taken time to really look at them?

"Are you just going to stand there?" Her voice didn't sound angry. Did his plan work?

"I'm sorry Arra." He said quietly, taking a seat.

"Is that all you do? Apologize?" Her crystal blue eyes were still wholly focused on the stars.

"What exactly are you looking at?"

"The sky. I watched the sun set. Beautiful." She said.

_Much like you I'm sure. _It was silent for a while. He broke it. "Are you going to forgive me? I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

Arra sighed. "Yes, I forgive you."

A relieved smile came over him. He held out his hand. "Friends?"

Arra's eyes fell from the sky to the ground to somewhere on the ground in front of her. Then she turned her focus to Liam. "No, I can't do that."

She stood from the ground. "Good-night your highness."

**x..:..x**

A/N: One word. Short. Thank you for reading. Please REVIEW!

Ahem. Okay, I want everyone to first take a deep breath and calm down. Look up at what category this story is under _Romance/Drama._ (Though I will not say who the romance refers to.) You have to know that _something _is going to happen. I love all of your reviews, they really keep me going. BUT I'm going to tell you something. **Arra is most definitely impossible.** That is because I made her that way. She promised herself she _would never love a prince._ Not just anybody, a Tortallan prince. That is her character. So everyone, I'd appreciate it if you just gave her a bit of time.

Thank you.


	17. Cracking the Barrier

A/N: This post is for the weekend. I'm not going to be here and better early than late. Thank you!

Disclaimer: Some stuff does in fact belong to me . . . just not all of it.

**x..:..x**

With the pages off of break and her classes with Lindhall back in progress, Arra thought her days would most certainly be full. And yet, somehow, they still felt empty. She split up her day between the pages, lessons with Thayet, training Thayet's horse, and delving deeper into more complex magic, it was enough to make her tired at the end of the day. So why did each day feel incomplete?

Somewhere in the far depths of her mind a very small voice said, 'maybe it's because Liam is no longer a part of your days'. Arra ignored that voice and pushed it deeper. _No. Telling Liam we wouldn't be friends was the route I should have taken from the beginning._

She stood firmly by that statement. And if at any moment she wavered on that decision, Arra steeled herself and _forced_ herself to keep her choice firm.

Arra sat on the ground took off her boot and emptied it. "Stupid rocks . . ." She mumbled.

"Are you Arra?" A female voice asked.

"Yes I am. Who might this be?" She fitted her boot back on and looked up into a face. Her young face was smooth and she owned hazel eyes much like Liam's. Her black hair was pulled away from her face in a braid.

"I'm Lianne."

Arra stood dusting herself off, then bowed. "And what can I do for you today, Highness?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Just Lianne, please." There was a pleading in her voice Arra couldn't have missed. "There is nothing in particular I wanted. . . just wanted to meet the person my mother, and brother speaks so highly of."

Had Arra been much of a blushing person her face would be red at the compliment, but instead she nodded her head in shy thanks. Arra picked up the dull practice sword she had put down earlier and noticed the way Lianne looked at it with longing. She held the sword to her in slight questioning.

Liann shook her head. "No, I deal more with the bow. Swords are a knight's weapon."

Arra grinned but then laughter bubbled in her system until it spilled over. Lianne somehow grinned too.

**xXx**

Zefra walked down the long hall, her skirts fluttering around her gently, the heavier over-vest staying fairly close to her body. She checked on her brother everyday. After his failure at getting their dear half-sister he'd locked himself up in his room with comlicated magic that only opened for her.

She opened the door to find Zedar currently engaged with one of the male servants. _One of the handsome servants,_she thought to herself. She noticed that he trembled unwillingly to her twin's touches. More than likely, this servant only stayed because of the power Zedar held and would not dare disobey him.

She turned away not able to see her brother kissing him. She gave a small cough.

"What do you want Zefra?" He growled. Zefra turned to find him in much the same position. Zedar was sitting on his bed, the servant before him. The young servant's eyes did not meet neither his nor hers. Zedar toyed with the curls atop his head making it impossible for him to leave with even that small touch.

She opened her mouth to speak when the servant's eyes rose to meet hers pleadingly. She sighed, Zedar would not be happy if she requested he release this one but she opened her mouth anyways. "Zedar, leave him be. You can see in his eyes he does not want it."

"How can you be sure your precious prince will want you?" He said cruelly. She tried to convince herself he was just in a foul mood but that stung her deep.

"And why can't you fine yourself a _woman_. You'll have to be married to one anyway."

Zedar gave her a sharp look. "You know my tastes, Zefra."

Yes, yes she knew his tastes. This was possibly the third or fourth time in this year, though, she had caught him with one of the male servants. But all of _this_ had only started recently, before he didn't do anything but neither did he look at any of the women with any interest. _Usually he chooses those who are willing though,_ she often saw their faces. Proud. But what had made him take this one?

"Zedar, let him go. Look at him, he's terrified."

He turned back to the person in front of him. Zedar grabbed his chin and forced him to look at him. "Is it true?" He whispered, though it sounded more like a hiss. "Are you terrified?"

But he dared not answer. Zefra knew what went through him. If he said yes, her brother would most likely be furious, and if he said no he would not be freed from Zedar's hands. The servant sent another pleading glance to her.

"Brother, if you had clear sight at this moment you would not need to ask him, you'd see it for yourself." She dared to venture.

Zedar released him. "Just tell me what you wanted Zefra."

"It is about our sister. What plans lie ahead of her? Do we _have_ any plans?"

"All I can say is she is in Tortall. That is all I know. My Gift has been blocked from hers." He said irritably through clenched teeth. He flicked his eyes to the servant. "Leave my sight."

The servant, Zefra noted, did a good job of hiding his relief but she could tell he was all the same. He bowed to each of them in turn before leaving the room.

"Zefra, do not speak," He sighed seeming much older than his years allowed, Zefra noticed. "I underestimated her." He murmured. At one moment, Zefra thought he spoke of her but then she realized he meant his failed attempt on their half-siter.

**xXx**

_How did I get myself into this? _Arra thought for the umpteenth time, parrying another one of Alanna's shots. Alanna was fast and Arra could just barely keep up. She didn't dare spin to give her blows extra power knowing Alanna would only use that to her advantage.

A crowd gathered to watch the fight that promised to be interesting. In between blocking Arra managed her own shots. She sneaked a glance to Alanna's face to find a grin. Arra struck once again before realizing she'd played into a small plan. Her lip twitched into a half-smile.

Next thing she knew Alanna's blade was pressed ever so lightly on her neck. "You fought well, Arra."

But a voice sounded from the crowd. "Take another look Lioness!"

Alanna looked down and found Arra's blade right at her belly. A grin formed on Arra's face, one which Alanna matched with her own. "_Very_ well fought."

The fight ended, Arra's distraction fell and she recognized the same odd feeling of emptiness as before. When she did she immediatley decided she needed another distraction. She sighed. "Any one of you out there want a bout?"

She wasn't surprised when no one rose seeing at how she had fared with the Lioness. But when someone did rise, she smiled. _Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan._ Arra gave her a thankful smile, though she was sure the Lady Knight wouldn't know what she was thankful for.

Keladry chose a sword to her liking and Alanna joined the crowd to watch. Arra studied her. She was taller than her, definitely. Her brown hair swept down just barely below her earlobes. She owned powerful arms, especially for a woman. _So? I've beaten men before._

They finished sizing each other up and Arra decided to let her make the first move. When enough time passed, and neither of them had of yet made a move, Arra went ahead and played the fool and attacked first. She stuck her blade in leaving a vulnerable spot visable. Kel took it but Arra was too fast and twisted out of the way easily. And so the fight ensued, neither gaining a hand. Some thought they knew how this would end and walked away. While others were transfixed on the blurs, waiting for the outcome.

Arra ducked and sidestepped bringing around her blade only to come in contact with Kel's again. Kel swung her blade up and over, Arra found an opening and took it but just as she reacted a high pitched scream reached her ears. It shocked her momentarily, was someone in trouble? Who? The voice had been fear filled and desperate.

In that moment the blade slapped her across the face. Kel froze as did everyone else. But Arra's mind wasn't on the blade, or the welt growing on the side of her face. It was on that scream.

She straightened. Metallic tasting liquid filled her mouth and she spit it to the side. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"That scream."

Alanna came running up. "Arra, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine but that girl who screamed. No one heard it?"

"I did, but it could be anything. Here let me heal that." Alanna held out her hand to Arra but she backed away.

"Theres more important things to be doing! No one cares?" She said running off. Kel followed.

What she saw made her blood boil when she finally reached the area. By now her face was already bruising and she'd spit out most of the blood.

A young man, probably a squire, was standing above a young woman. She was on all fours in front of him sobbing, her brown hair created a veil shielding her face.

"What is going on here?" Arra asked beating Kel at the draw.

The squire turned around with an innocent smile. "Nothing at all. She just fell and I was trying to help her up but then she screamed. Can't understand why."

A look in Kel's eyes darkened but once again Arra acted first. She pushed past him and went straight for the girl. "Are you all right?" She nodded and Arra noticed a black eye forming and her cheek was red. She got up and dusted her hands. You didn't get an injury like that from falling down.

"Tell me, whats your name?"

"Don of Temisfield."

"What is your favorite weapon to fight with?" Arra asked further.

"Staffs." He asnwered instantly, unsure where she was going with this.

"Alright, go get two. We are going to have a spar." She said it matter of factly leaving him no choice. But he just stood there in shock. "Two. Staffs." Arra said slowly, pronouncing the words carefully. She smiled. "Come now, its just a friendly spar."

He left and Kel helped Arra with the girl. "He's very strong." She said quietly. "Are you sure you can beat him?"

Arra laughed. "You don't know who I am do you?" She was not in the least intimidated by this boy, she'd fought bigger stronger more _honorable_ men and won. The girl shook her head. "I'm a Shang." Arra leaned closer and changed her voice to a more gentle one. "Just tell me one thing, was it him? He, that hurt you?" The young woman gave the smallest of nods and that was all Arra needed.

**xXx **

Kel looked at Arra, was she really going to spar this squire? "Arra, you can't do this." For a moment Kel thought maybe Arra didn't understand what exactly she was talking about. But Arra laughed.

"I can, and will. If he had picked on one of the pages I wouldn't do anything," Kel raised her brow and Arra explained further. "The pages need to understand what they are getting into when they choose to become a knight. I got picked on plenty of times by men, I rose above them and even now they don't dare test me despite my size. But look at her, she is no page, she's just a Lady there is no one to defend her," Kel tried to speak. "and I won't leave it to any court. I am not of here, if I have done anything to displease their ways I can just as well leave."

Kel understood, and a respect for the younger woman in front of her grew. Arra smiled, pleasantly accepting a staff from the squire, who, Kel noticed, looked a bit apprehensive. "Besides, its only a spar, right?" She winked and headed towards the center, demanding more than asking Don to follow her.

Kel offered to take the girl to the healer but she fervently refused wanting to see the outcome of this fight, and Kel admitted to herself she did too. _She doesn't look akward,_ Kel mused, _with a bruising welt on the side of her face. If anything it makes her look more dangerous._

**xXx**

Arra swung the staff out in front of her experimentally. She turned to face Don, decided the staff was adequate enough. "How would you like to do this, Don? Two out of three sound good?"

She saw something flash in his eyes. _Did he think I'd let him get away with only one fight?_ He nodded in reluctant agreement. They took up their stances and Arra smiled. Or she tried to smile, but as one side of her face seemed stiff with pain, only one side of her mouth came up forming a smirk instead. She had hardly ever felt so confidant going into a fight.

Just as she lunged Don decided for an overhead. Arra lifted the wooden staff above her head very conscious that while she was in an almost crouching position and her hands were above her hand she left her chest exposed. She hadn't expected him to be fast enough to move from that strike to the next but in a flash of a movement he was already aiming for her again. She jumped back curving her body away from his staff.

_He's fast._ She smiled._ But Alanna's faster._

Don struck again and again, left, right, then a sweeping up motion in quick succesion. She parried each and made her own retaliation to his abdomen which he too blocked. His next attack was aimed high she ducked low and before he could react, she swept the staff under him. She purposely aimed a little higher on his calf than was neccesary.

He fell gasping and clutching just below his knee where she'd hit him. She came to stand over him, sweat not even broken out on her face. "Come on get up. If your going to be a knight pain may just be a good part of your life."

"I think it's broken. I can't feel it!" He gasped again. Arra thought if that was possible and decided it most likely wasn't. _Unless his bones are brittle_. She knelt down and felt his leg.

"Its not broken, bruised, but not broken." She stood and tossed the staff into the air. She caught it on her hand and balanced it. "Now stand up, and fight. Knights can handle pain." He glared, not even trying to hide it but he stood up slowly all the same.

This time he barely gave her time to take up stance before he attacked in an angry frenzy. She blocked and dodged, purposefully ignoring blatant openings to drag it out longer. _Rhythm. That's all it is. _Don swung high, purposefully aiming for her head in frustration. Arra used this moment.

She ducked low and twisted around until she was behind him. She then took her staff in two hands and lifted it over his head and pressed it to his neck, bending his spine backwards. With the position, it made it difficult to move. If he misstepped he'd probably slip and fall, so he stood still and in place.

Arra took this time to whisper harshly. "I think we can say I won. Now lets get down to the business, I don't want to see you ever lay a hand on another woman to physicaly pain her in anyway. If I catch the slightest breeze of a hint that you have I'll see you out here again with my choice of weapon—or lack thereof—and I won't be half as nice as I was just now. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes." He rasped.

"Do you understand and agree to it?"

"Yes!" He said again wanting to be out of the uncomfortable position. She tightened her hold on him one last time before releasing him at which time he fell the the ground huffing.

Arra bent down, picked up the two staffs and carried them away. When she walked out of the storage room she found Kel waiting for her. There was an odd shine in her eyes. She held out her hand to Arra and Arra realized that it was an understanding between the two of them. An understanding of men and what they are capable of, common ground with being trained with men. Arra grasped her outstretched hand.

They took the girl, who they learned to be Nadia of Starbridge, to Duke Baird.

"Starbridge, I recognize that name." Kel said thoughtfully as the Duke worked on Nadia.

"Perhaps you know of my sister? Verity of Starbridge?" She said carefully, not wanting to disturb the Chief Healer's work.

Kel looked surprised for a moment. Nadia noticed this and smiled.

"Your all done." Duke Baird said. "Now let me see you, Arra."

"I'm fine." But the Duke had his way and he worked on her cheek.

Nadia spoke again. "I know I look nothing like my sister. We are really half-sisters. I being the younger. Her mother died years ago, and my father took a new wife long after."

Arra held still as the Duke's green Gift flowed into her jaw, working. She winced but held tightly where she was. The cooling stopped but it tingled a bit afterward.

"You should've come to me sooner. You had a large bruise and a loose tooth."

Arra smiled. Nadia decided she was famished, thanked them both, and left. Kel decided she too was hungry. She asked Arra if she would like to come have a meal with her but she declined knowing even with the smallest healing her stomach would not hold food. Arra left to her room and suddenly found it dull. Cobalt stood poised on the chair in front of her desk, his head cocked to one side.

She let him loose outside to capture his dinner and soon after she left also. _Where was it Lindhall suggested I go? Oh yes, to the library. _It seemed a good time as any other to go so she did. She pulled out a few books Lindhall had directed her to but she couldn't seem to stay on task.

Her mind continued to wander to the rumors floating around the castle. _Why should I care if he's fallen for one of the court ladies? If anything I should be happy._ She turned the page and fidled with crystal blue fire between her fingers but once again her mind was lost to thoughts.

_As far as he's concerned I'm a Shang commoner. He probably thought that as a commoner I'd more sooner than not bed him just because he's a prince._

Her thoughts stayed irritable until she finally gave up completely on practicing with her Gift. She couldn't place her feelings, she just felt . . ._ odd._ She decided. She sat for a while longer until finally she realized something.

_It doesn't feel just _odd_ it . . . it hurts._

_Was I just someone else to him?_

**X..:..x**

A/N: Don't freak out guys. But DO review!

Okay then, I just wanted to say I have NOTHING against gays. If you want to know the analyzed reason for making Zedar gay though, e-mail me. If you hear me out when I explain to you and still feel some disagreement, then and only then, can you give me another e-mail or review telling me . . . . blah blah blah. -----that is b/c I don't know what you will say. But more than likely, it will hurt me to see that my lovely reviewers dislike me.


	18. Knighted

A/N: Alrighty then, I don't know exactly the Ordeal is supposed to take place, but I'm putting them during the Midwinter dinners. That alright? If anyone objects . . . I'm really sorry, though you can inform me for future references. This one is short but sweet. Overall I think you'll like it.

So after you read this you may find me to be an incredibly bad, rushed writer, or you may be happy . . . I'll finish this thought at the end.

Disclaimer: I don't own this. It belongs to Tamora Pierce. Well . . . except for the plot, uh . . . certain characters and this neat little hat I've got here! Oh, wait thats not in the story . . .

**x..:..x**

Midwinter crept closer. Arra had talked to Lianne more during that time, though she couldn't help but think about Liam as she did so. Liam had done as she asked and stayed away from her, or maybe his knightmaster had taken him away. Either way he would need to come back for Midwinter. For it would be his last moments as a squire and the time he would move into Knightdom.

As much as she denied it, even to herself, she had been attached to him and with the coming of Midwinter she feared for him.

Nadia, too, had dropped in a few time with thanks and sometimes a few baked goods. Arra decided she liked the girl. She'd spoken more with Kel, also.

As much as she hated it, she found herself softening to the thought of Liam. Like water dripping onto a rock, her hate for him was being slowly eroded away.

"Arra, try to make a shield." Lindhall was going over things they'd done before. Arra had done most of the other things but she seemed distracted. Lindhall commented once on how surprised he'd been that she learned so quickly.

Arra sighed and summoned up her Gift creating a sparkling shield of crystal blue fire. It stayed in tact for a few minutes before it flickered and dissapeared.

"Arra are you all right? Perhaps you should come back another day. Today your mind seems to be on other things." He smiled kindly at Arra. She smiled back but took his advice and left all the same.

_He shouldn't be on my mind this much! It's not fair, this is exactly what I wanted. To be away from him and now I've pushed him away too far._

Even with all of the work she herself piled on she never felt busy enough. She split everything up onto a daily schedule except for one thing, going to the library. Sometimes there was people in there but usually there wasn't. Most people were too busy getting ready for Midwinter.

_A year or longer I've been here. How did I get here? The time passed me by so fast. Though, most of it happened while I was in bed sleeping my days away._ She sighed and headed back to her room, she needed to get ready for the first day of the Midwinter dinners._ I don't know how I'm going to get through it without the after dinner spars though._

This time her company proved to be more interesting. As last time she sat with Hakuin, but this time at her table were also seated Kel and a few of her knight friends she did not know.

"Arra, these are some of my friends, Sir Nealan of Queenscove and his wife Yukimi noh Daiomoru of Queenscove. And this is Sir Merric of Hollyrose." Kel introduced.

Arra bowed to each in turn, changing her bow to Yamani style for Yukimi, and smiled. A bell rang and they all took their seats for the first meal. Arra herself was engaged in conversation.

"Arra, I hear you defended a young woman?" Nealan asked.

Arra laughed lightly. "Nothing more than a friendly spar. Though I think maybe he could use a little more practice on the side." The table laughed. Though Kel turned to Yukimi and talked in Yamani. _I wonder if they know I can speak that?_ Damien had taken it upon himself to teach them all sorts of languages. She wasn't completely fluent, but she could speak and understand well enough.

"What do you think of her Yuki?" Kel asked in the Yamani language.

"I do not know what to think yet." Arra smiled. This was going to be interesting. Throughout the meal they made comments to each other, sometimes Hakuin would join in also. Arra would listen and wait for a good moment.

Neal, as he preferred to be called, sighed and spoke to Arra and Merric. "I suppose the three of us are the only ones left out of the loop. Yuki has tried to teach me Yamani, but I'm no good. I can catch glimpses of words but thats about it."

Arra smiled. Not willing to let anything away.

Hakuin made a particularly funny comment in Yamani almost making Arra lose all etiquette. She half-laughed into her soup which turned into a cough and her face became red.

"Are you all right?"

She nodded a faint smile on her lips that made the three known Yamani speakers suspicious. Near the end of the dinner Kel brought up the same question as before to Yuki.

"I . . . I like her. Perhaps we should invite her to our morning practices." She said.

Arra decided now was a good time as ever. "I would love to but between everything I have to do I am very busy. Thank you for the offer though." She said casually in Yamani. All five heads turned to her in surprise while she took another bite of the food in front of her. She smiled. Neal laughed.

"Well, don't we all feel odd?"

Sometime after that the dinner was called to an end. Arra thought about going to the practice fields as she had last year but instead went to the library.

_I wonder who takes the Ordeal tonight?_ She didn't even know when Liam would be taking it. For all she knew he might be there now. Her heart constricted but she pushed the feeling aside.

She took out a book. She remembered so clearly her own Ordeal she had taken when she was only fifteen. _Though it seems so long ago at the same time._

(flashback)

_Arra walked up in very light simple breeches and a shirt. This day her life would change. _

_They went through ceremonial words and placed her before a large white box that sat upon the sand. Even if the Shang themselves did not have magic they used it for their Ordeals, which they held in a very empty part of the desert. She squeezed her eyes shut and walked into the hole that formed in the magic that let her enter._

_Compared to the complete whiteness of the magic the inside was so completely dark and cold. For a moment she thought perhaps her eyes were still closed but she soon found they weren't. For a while nothing happened but then something started to shimmer in the blackness. It continued until if formed a whitish vapor. Then it moved, or rather, attacked her._

_In the first, she hadn't expected it. It flew straight towards her it passed through her and at first she didn't notice anything. But then Arra began to feel a burning, searing sensation flow through her very veins in the part of her body the vapor had touched. She wanted to scream and cry, but just like a knight's Ordeal she could not make a sound. Each time it did that she tried to attack it by punching and kicking. Arra even tried to dodge but the vapor moved impossibly and would find her anyways. And each time brought a different sort of pain one that stabbed, one that slashed, one that burned._

_Arra wearily realized something. It was what most, if not all, Shang feared, something that could not be beaten. Something that was inescapable. Finally, just as she was sure she would die of exhaustion and shear pain the hole opened again and she barely made it through._ That is why they use magic. Because we do not fear real opponents. But magic is a constant, while many factors can contribute to any other type of opponent.

_Her hair was damp, though other parts were soaked in sweat. As soon as she was out she fell and Damien caught her, wrapping a sheet around her. The sun peaked out over the horizon with an array of oranges and reds._

"_Congratulations, my little chickadee, you've done it."_

_She smiled though it was a weary, faint one not even having the energy to get angry with him for calling her chickadee. _Just one more year, that's it._ She thought as he picked her up and let her rest, for tomorrow in the morning she would be off to wander for a year before she received her Name._

(End Flashback)

Arra realized she was staring blankly at the opposite wall and shook herself out of her reverie. _But I never did get my Name._ She thought before she continued to work.

She rather liked her company in the Midwinter dinners this year better than the year before. The days past quickly up until night when she would wonder, Is Liam inside the Chamber now? And then the mornings when she would wait with plenty others only to find that Liam was none of those faces.

Arra resided in the library once again with a book open though she wasn't reading it, instead she paced from one side of the room to the other. There was no one in the library at that time so when she heard the door open she turned her attention to who opened it but was not ready for who stood there.

"Liam?"

He smiled a faint sheepish smile, one she never thought she'd see on the prince. "Hello, Arra." He said quietly, was he nervous? "My Ordeal is the day after next." He stated.

Silence followed for a few moments before he took a few more steps into the room and spoke again. "I . . . I just needed to see you again," He whispered, then he really did come close to her but she herself could not move. Had he gotten taller? It seemed so as he stood not three quarters of a head but a full head a over her. He baffled her senses like no other man had been able to, why was she so susceptible to it now? "I don't know if I'll be different when I come out of the Chamber and I don't know what will happen so I just wanted to . . . see you again." He came close carefully and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Midwinter luck Arra."

With that he turned around to leave the room. Her insides screamed. She was letting him leave, why! Finally her voice worked though not as well as she would've hoped. "Liam wait." He half turned around wearily as if not sure he wanted to hear what she had to say. She winced, she deserved that, the last few talks which sadly had been months before hadn't been very kind.

Like the unclenching of a muscle she let go of everything and her emotions recognized the relief. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer then pulled him down as she reached up and met his lips in a soft kiss.

When she broke it she found Liam in a dazed state a faint blush upon his cheeks. Was there one present on her too? "Midwinter luck, Liam."

The edge of his lip quirked as if he wanted to smile. "And what were _you_ thinking?" He asked just as quietly as he had spoken before. She remembered herself asking him almost the same question before.

"Thinking is overrated." She said before she reached up for another kiss to which he answered. He started slowly, carefully deepened the kiss as if he were coaxing out some beast he meant to tame. He wrapped his arms around her and her hands found their way to the back of his neck as she noticed in the circle of his arms she felt completely warm and safe.

His kiss was different from any she had ever experienced. Why had she not taken better note of it before? She could feel his passion pour into her very bones from the connection of their lips, it burned hot straight to the marrow making her want to fall but Liam kept her up.

They broke the kiss but stayed in the embrace as she rested her head on his chest.

"Arra," Liam breathed. "Just tell me one thing. Please. Just tell me this isn't a dream, that this is real, that your not just playing with me."

With a pang Arra realized that it had been her. She had been on his mind, and for her to reject him once and then after a long period of separation suddenly want to kiss him must seem imaginary. Instinctively her arms around him tightened just a fraction. "This is real, Liam, this is real."

Liam unhooked one of his arms from around her and used it to make her meet his eyes. _His hazel eyes._ A carefully relieved smile spread over his face. He pushed a strand of hair away from her face and once again kissed her.

For this moment they forgot everything. Liam forgot that she was a commoner and he a prince. He forgot about his Ordeal. There was only the two of them together.

The next two days they could not meet. He spent his time alone, thinking about everything. And when the time came for his Ordeal to begin Arra could feel her insides constrict into knots. She fought to keep her thoughts steered clear of Liam and only barely succeeded. Later that night she sat with a closed book before her, she'd given up on trying to pay attention to it hours ago.

_I need to get sleep. . . but I can't._ Though sometime during the night she must've fallen asleep because she remembered waking up though it was still very dark out. She rushed to her rooms, scrubbed her face and changed her clothes and waited in the back row. This time it was more full,_ of course, he's their prince. _Even more people started to come in just as the sky turned lighter though there was no sign of the sun just yet.

But finally, there it was, the sun showed a blinding streak of shine. Instantly, priests ran to the door and opened it. Out fell Liam, his face was deathly pale and stark white against his sweat soaked black hair. He panted heavily as they placed warmer coats and sheets over him. Then his face went up and he searched the room. His eyes slowed down over his parents, there was something in his eyes Arra noticed, fear. It receded a bit as he found some people in the crowd then he found her, sitting in the back row shaking into her clothes. He smiled faintly and finally sagged completely against the people holding him up.

That was the only look she got from him that day. But it was enough to both relieve her and scare her further. He'd survived, yes, but that look in his eyes troubled her.

She didn't go to his ceremonial knighting, decided she hadn't gone to any of the others and someone might see something suspicious in going to his. Instead she sat in the library. Like she had so many other days. Except this time concentrating wasn't so hard.

The book named many different ways that the Gift could be used in while another one named how many different types of mage and magic users there was. It was all fascinating. The door to the library opened but she didn't look up. The cushion next to her sunk with the weight of a person and yet she still didn't look up.

"What are you reading?" Liam asked leaning in to see.

"I see you got away from the mob that I was sure would be following you." She said turning another page. She flicked her focus to him. "You should be resting."

She turned to him completely and noticed he was still rather pale. She took the book and leaned into him putting the book on her lap to read. Just as she was about to start reading he pulled her to him, kissing her with need. _Almost as if making sure I'm really here._

_It took him going into a crisis, for me to see anything for him . . . I'd hate to see what needs to happen for someone else._

**x..:..x**

A/N: Lots o' fluff. Good-o. The next two chapters will _mostly_ be about the two of them and Arra's thoughts. Sorry to say, not too much action. Just wait a couple chapters, we'll get there.

So continuing from where I started at the beginning. I'm not really one of those kind of people that likes the stories where the two never get together, one loves the other one OH! Now your too late they don't love you anymore, well I hate you too . . . etc. There is just soooooo much more I can do with a story than just have a confused character. You have to put that confused character in interesting situations. Plus! . . . . no wait I can't tell you that. So, I went from an evil writer to an incredibly kind one. Here you go.

If any of you ever think my rating is too low I'd appreciate it if you informed me and I'll be sure to change it. Thanks! REVIEW por favor!


	19. Normal Days are Hard to Find

A/N: Please please please forgive me for getting this one out late. It wasn't my fault I promise! Someone sent me a virus and my computer's already kind of screwed up so . . . it just kind of restarted and now I have to re-install everything back on it. So I didn't get to finish writing the chapter. So with some thinking I decided to just download what I did have and write the rest on fanfiction. Sorry to say the next chapter won't be out until I get some sort of writing thing on my computer. SORRY!

Disclaimer: This is getting really tiring. I don't own these characters except for the ones you don't notice. Those I do.

**x..:..x**

Arra hoisted a large box out from under her bed and dumped it out. _There is way too much stuff in here._ She opened a few of her drawers. And just to make sure there was absolutely nothing under her bed she crawled down and searched when there was a knock at her door. She crawled out backwards and opened the door hitting the dust out of her hair.

"What's going on in here?" Liam asked after Arra motioned him in. "Are you leaving?"

Arra took a glance around the room before turning back to him and answering. "No, but if I ever do I can't very well take all of this with me. I'm cleaning it out, I asked Hakuin for today off."

"So you do plan to still leave?" He asked something in his voice she couldn't quite name.

She sighed. "I can't stay forever. I want to travel. You don't see everything with only a couple years worth of travel," She was becoming earnest trying to make him understand but seeing he probably wouldn't, that this might just be a Shang thing, she gave up. "Is there anything you wanted?"

"Ah, yes," He handed over a pile. "It's your cloak."

"So _you've_ had it all this time. I had been wondeing where it was."

He grinned. "Yes. I meant to give it back but never got around to it. I would've probably kept if it hadn't been to small for me."

Arra mock glared. "For a while it was too big for me. Damien thought I'd grow more but I never did. So after a while he finally got it hemmed in." She hugged it, there were so many memories in its fine stitches. She set it down on her desk and startd to sort through all of the books she'd taken from the library to look at and extra papers she'd taken note on. She didn't notice Liam pull a seat to her bed and look at the contents upon it.

"Arra, is this you?"

"Hm?" She inquired looking at what he was looking at. She gasped. "That's not for looking at!" She jumped at him trying to grasp the small sketchbook with the edges singed by what looked like fire.

"Why not?" He asked grinning, holding it just out of her reach, his height making it easy. He stood up after she came very close to getting it.

"Well isn't it obvious why not? Because I'm _embarrassed _about them!" She said matter of factly still reaching for them. Liam laughed at her willingness to say it outright. He turned his back to her flipping the pages.

"There's nothing to --" But he was cut off as Arra jumped on his back.

"Give—it back!"

"Just let me look at it!" He said. But it was useless anyways, his arms were too long and she couldn't reach it. Her head lulled against the back of his neck.

"Fine you can look at it." She jumped back off his back and continued to clean up. "Damien and Joel both thought I was odd for having any interest in drawing. Joel said I should worry more about fighting than drawing. I think he was just jealous that even though I was younger than him I could beat him."

"Joel? Who's that?" Liam asked, his eyes intent on one of the sketches. _Oh, that's right, he didn't hear me talk about him._

"He was also apprentice to The Pheonix with me."

"Oh. So _is_ this of you?" He said motioning to one of the pictures. Arra went and squatted beside him.

She sighed at the picture me meant. _It couldn't hurt to tell him who that is. He was too young to have even known her face._ "That, is my mother. Or at least how I remember her looking."

"You never went back to see her after you became a Shang?" He asked.

"It's all very confusing. You—you see, I never really did become a Shang. Yes I know how to fight, but I'm incomplete without a Name," Liam opened his mouth to say something to talk but she continued. "_But_ that isn't the reason I never visited her. She died long ago."

"And your father?"

For some reason that struck a cord deep within her. "Do you _like_ to dig up my past?" She asked sharply.

He looked a bit taken back but turned the page all the same. There on the page was a miniature version of Ghost. Her tale flicking and her head turned directly towards the watcher, a bit of hay sticking out the side of her mouth and one ear faced behind them.

"I think I drew that one when I was in southern Tortall, near Tyra." They went through most of them in that fashion. Liam would make comments and Arra would say where she remembered drawing it. Once or twice Liam would say something about wishing he could've traveled so far. Until that is they reached one certain picture.

_Now I remember why I haven't picked up this particular sketchbook in a while._ On the page before them there was a small girl with a wide smile and lank hair, though for some reason she seemed to be the happiest person in the world. In her hands she clutched a doll, a small pitiful rag doll and she owned bright eyes, large bright eyes that Arra would never forget. She reached out her fingers gently touching the singed page. This was the last thing she'd ever drawn in this certain sketchbook.

She sighed. "I was in Scanra--"

Liam interrupted. "During the war?"

"It was in a different area. Surprisingly devoid of the savagery." Arra looked at the page again and felt that her own drawing had come to life only to stare at her with those big innocent eyes.

_I don't want to remember that day. No . . ._

(flashback)

_It hadn't been too hot in Scanra. Not too hot at all. Actually it was a rather fine day. Arra leaned herself against a tree, sketchbook in hand and a an old piece of coal, and drew the small scene before her. The girl before her had hair that looked as if it should have been a pale red though it had been darkened by dirt and grease. She owned bright blue eyes that could stare with the insensity of the very sun overhead. The small rag doll seemed about as strong as her hair and probably as dirty. But Arra only noticed the simple pefection in it all._

_In the middle of a stroke something surged in her chest. Like a burst of energy it filled her system until she felt she'd burst. She screamed loudly. That small girl came up to her._

_"You a'right?" She in a soft whispering lisp. Arra opened her eyes and fire filled her eyes until they seared with the pain. She closed them again until another energy spasm ran through and she shook. The next time she dared open her eyes the buildings were aflame, lined lightly in crystal blue fire. All she noticed was the small girl shaking, trembling. People ran around the city screaming and panicking. The fire leaked from her, pouring out in streams and destroying whatever it touched but all she could think about was that small girl._

I've got to help her. _She wrapped her arms around her trying to protect her from the fire and heat, Arra glanced away for a second but then the quiet red-head screamed. She turned quickly to find she was dying. Her body being burned alive right there in her hold. Those eyes, the bright eyes, lost their shine and glazed over. He body blistered turned black and fell into a clump of ashes in her arms. At that exact moment she had no time to mourn for her Gift had spent and exhaustion overtook her._

(end flashback)

Stopping the tears now seemed futile. Instead she grabbed the sketchbook and threw it harshly across the room. Arra stood quickly and tried to busy herself with organizing a certain area but it was no good her sight was blurry and she couldn't see where she put things.

Something warm wrapped around her and she was pulled into something, or rather someone, firm. Liam didn't say anything only held her against him.

"She would've lived Liam," She whispered. "She could've run away but no I had to try and save her. She could've lived. And now she's gone. Her too young soul gone to the Dark realm." She stared at her calloused hands wishing they weren't her own. She broke away from his hold and tried to punch a wall but he was right there and he caught her fist and took the other and put them both in his hands.

"Who?" He asked gently.

She nodded to the sketchbook. "Her." Though there had been many female people in the sketchbook he understood who she spoke of, Liam picked it up from where it sat and started to walk away with it. "What do you think your doing?"

"Something that can cause this kind of reaction from you can't be that great."

She sighed until he held it over a candle. Arra jumped up and said the first words that came to her mouth; a quick spell that reduced the candle to usless wax in a bowl. Liam dropped the book instantly in surprise. Arra stooped down and picked it up.

"Why did you do that?" He asked.

She rubbed her forehead, then went down and brushed a few cold left over tears from her eyes. "Some things should't be forgotten, Liam. No matter what feelings it brings up. It—it . . ." She lost the words. She only knew it as a feeling. She tried again. "I keep it as a reminder."

Silence ensued. _He doesn't understand. _Arra rested it atop a small pile of clothes. Another pile of jumbled knick-knacks lay on the ground, she stooped to pick it up as she lifted something hit the ground with a soft 'clink'. Arra threw away some of the stuff, it being useless, and turned around to find Liam already holding what had fallen._ Please let him just give it back . . . don't let him notice anything about it._

"Arra . . . where did you get this?" He asked. His tone surprised her, it sounded suspicous. _Does he think I stole it?_

Arra tried asking in a nice tone, hoping he might listen. "May I have that back, Liam?"

**xXx**

Liam looked at her suspiciously but soon returned his attention to the bracelet before him. "In a moment."

"No, Liam. Now," She paused. "Please."

Had she really stolen it? It made sense, and yet it didn't. It was a silver bracelet in the design of almost perfect vines with delicate leaves and floweres made of rubies. On the inside there was a plate of silver with an insignia on it. A silver horse on a black and red background. If she truly was a commoner, as she claimed, how would she come across something so fine and expensive? But he couldn't bring himself to fully believe she stole it from anyone.

Arra snatched it from him, her crystal blue eyes defiantly angry with him in a way he admired.

**xXx**

Normally, had he asked where she had gotten it she would've answered if only because she felt bad having to tell so many lies. _I would sooner say I stole this than tell him where it came from._

In truth, it had come from her mother. It had been part of the Queen's own small treasury. _I wonder if Liam realizes how many secrets he has stumbled upon in just this visitation. Perhaps doing this at this moment in time hadn't been such a good idea._

But once something was started it needed to be finished so she packed up everything without anymore mishaps. In the middle of straightening something she was hit with a sudden thought. "Liam get out."

"Why?" He questioned.

"Two perfectly good reasons. One: you have been in a female's room for a good enough portion of the day, yes believe it or not I am female--"

"I believe it." Liam murmured.

A touch of smile found its way to her lips as she continued. "And I must be getting ready."

"Getting ready? For what? I thought you said you had the day free."

"No, I said I had been relieved of my duties. Free is never an option for me. And if you must be informed of everything, Lianne has invited me on a stroll. I didn't think I _could _refuse even if I had wanted to." She was sure he would've said something about that but he only picked up on one thing.

Liam srunched his nose, making Arra stifle a laugh, and said. "No titles for her?"

At that Arra did in fact laugh and when she was done their was still a smile sticking to her face. "No. No title for her. Only you. So begone with you!" As she spoke Arra was slowly pushing him to the door.

Liam spun around gave her a chaste kiss and left with a grin on his face. Arra stood there for a while smiling until she realized what she was doing and jumped back into movement.

Arra scrubbed her face and headed to find Lianne. When she did Lianne no sooner lead her out to the courtyard with a few greetings. Perhaps it was in this alone Arra should have noticed something but she let it pass.

They walked for a while in what Arra thought was a content silence, that is until she looked over. Had Lianne been any other person, Arra was sure she'd be chewing her nails and looking around nervously. But as it was Lianne only wiped her hands on her skirts every now and then, with a downcast, almost guilty look._ What is it?_ Arra wondered.

"Lianne, my presence cannot be so wonderful you asked for it only to walk with me at your side." Arra said.

The princess looked at Arra and smiled. "And what makes you think it is not I who would like to walk beside you?"

Arra laughed and when that died down she asked. "Are you really telling me there was no reason for this walk?"

Lianne shook her head, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. It looked more like she was trying to convince someone, herself maybe, more than actually saying 'no'.

Silence ensued once again from there that felt to Arra comfortable, so much so she started to hum.

"Arra?" Lianne began. Arra caught a tone in her voice though she could not decipher it.

"Yes?"

Lianne flicked her eyes away from Arra to a copse of trees to the cobblestones they walked on as if not daring to look her in the eye.

"Lianne what is it?" Has someone hurt her? Was she in some sort of trouble?

"I-I don't know where or how to begin."

Arra smiled, at least she was getting somewhere. "You start where anything must: the beginning."

Lianne took a seat on one of the many benches. In her silence, Arra looked upon all of the couples walking through._ Well, this is a courtyard._

"Well . . . you see . . ." Lianne tried to start but just as soon her voice died away, but she then came back with greater fervor and spoke almost too fast for Arra to hear. "Arra, I-I want to leave. And your probably wondering why I would tell you that but . . . I jut thought you'd understand."

For a moment Arra couldn't really speak. She only stared into Lianne's pleading eyes, asking her to understand. _Does she think I'll understand because . . . because . . . Does she know? How could she? _Arra swallowed and tried to work her suddenly dry throat. "And why exactly would I understand?"

"Well . . . because your Shang," Relief swept through Arra's system. "I don't really want to . . . to escape being a princess or anything like that. I just," She paused. "I just want to get a better look at what's out there and not the way a princess can, with guards following everywhere and such. I want to see the people know the customs. You being a Shang I thought perhaps you'd understand that . . . desire. I want you to come with me."

Arra nodded slowly. Yes, she understood, but Lianne was a princess and what she was suggesting would be looked upon as running away and nothing less. _And if I were to go with her it wouldn't be any better of a situation. I'll just be thought of as the kidnapper in the scheme._ She opened her mouth to say as much and add that she probably shouldn't but quickly closed it. Who was she to say that she shouldn't leave? Sure, Arra herself hadn't left of her own free will but she'd stayed away and that was just as bad.

_"So you'd let her make something of the same mistake you did?"_ Said the part of her mind that was aware of most factors involved and took them into account.

Arra sighed. "Lianne I cannot and will not go with you on this expedition."

"Why?"

"Think about it. To your parents it would look more like I took you away." She rubbed her eyes with a thumb and forefinger. "Don't do this. Just because you claim it isn't because you want to 'escape being a princess' doesn't mean there isn't a small part of you thinking or feeling that."

Lianne nodded slowly and whispered. "Alright."

_She thought I out of everyone else would understand and agree with her. I do understand, more than she knows, but she needs to understand what the larger picture would be._

**xXx**

"You! Your punch is too low!" The page tried again, but Arra shook her head. "Now its too high." She positioned his fist in just the right spot and let him practice. It was only minutes later however the bell rang.

"Alright, the lot of you," Hakuin motioned for them to leave and they complied. Hakuin turned to Arra after the last page left. "So you seem to be in a better mood." He remarked.

"Do I? I don't feel any different than anytime before now." Arra said plaintively. The Horse laughed and Arra smiled in return.

After his comment Arra realized she was happy and that she may possibly have been in the best mood she could remember. She forgot about Fate and whatever plan that was written for her. Instead Arra lived her life as best she could on a day-to-day basis.

One evening, as she lay in bed languidly tossing strips of raw meat she'd begged off one of the cooks to Cobalt, Arra stumbled across a thought. _Liam. It's Liam that's made me so happy._

What surprised her more than anything was that the thought hadn't surprised her in the least. No, it had always seemed to fit. As if another part of her had already known.

**x...:...x**

A/N: Aright even though I can't update for a while I'll still be writing in my notebook, so thats good I guess. The next chapter is promising to be more interesting. So please please REVIEW and I'll be happy and I'll bug my sister to put Wordpad of if I'm lucky Word back on my computer and I'll get the next chapter out as soon as possible!

Wow, I think I put quite a bit of foreshadowing in here. Lets see if anyone can pick up on what might be foreshadowing in this chapter . . .

And once more just to be thorough . . . REVIEW!


	20. Lights, scars, and a messenger

A/N: Yes, yes. The long awaited chapter 20. Here's where things all get started . . .

Disclaimer: I DO own Arra, Damien, Joel, Ghost, Sir Gregor, Zefra, Zedar, and a couple of other randomly scattered facts, details, and people. Everything else belongs to the great **Tamora Pierce.** I dare not take ownership of THAT.

**x...:...x**

Arra yawned with one hand covering the opening of her mouth. "Liam where are we going?" She asked, her voice ragged with sleep. Liam didn't answer only continued to walk in front of her. She wanted to groan but decidedly stayed quiet. Presently, Arra's attire consisted of nothing more than her night shift. Liam had come knocking at her door in the middle of the night without so much as an explanation. Arra cleared her throat and tried a different strategy. "Liam, I'm just about ready to turn around and go back."

"We're almost there," He said shortly, not even bothering to turn his head slightly to face her. _I don't think I've ever been down this hall._ She crossed her arms over her breasts and continued to follow him just thinking. It had been nearly a month since Arra had had that talk in the courtyard with Lianne and the subject had not been lifted since.

"Couldn't you have at least let me change?"

Liam shook his head. "Then we might've missed it." _Missed what! _Liam lead on for a while as Arra followed blindly, yawning every now and then. Suddenly, he spun around with a grin, which fell when he saw her, "Are you cold?"

"I'll live." Arra answered. Liam took of his outer coat and draped it around her ans she noticed _he_ was properly clothed. Arra grumbled inwardly then said. "Are we done walking around yet?"

Liam placed his arm across her shoulders ans whispered, "Almost, just a few more steps yet." His hot breath tickled her ear. Liam guided her, taking a turn around a corner then leading her to a set of double doors. They were fairly simple, yet large, wooden doors outlined lightly in gold.

"Is . . . this it?"

"Yes, come on I think we're a bit early." Arra didn't even bother to let the question pass over her mind as to what they were early for let alone voice the words, instead she just followed him silently.

Inside Arra could see very little except for the random silver reflection of light off of a surface and the basic shape of the room. Liam continued to walk with Arra still in his hold. The closeness of his body helping to fight away any cold that threatened her. She didn't notice when he stopped walking but Arra did notice when Liam sat down, pulling her down with him.

"Now," He whispered. "Just wait."

She sighed once again but did as she was told without knowing exactly why she was being so obedient. _Maybe its because I'm still half asleep._ Thinking of sleep made her tired again and she rested her head against Liam's shoulder.

"Here it comes." Liam whispered again. As soon as he did her head snapped up to bright lights. Arra wasn't sure how fast it happened, if maybe it happened when she blinked, or maybe before she was blind and now she saw what was really there but compared to before the room was completely lit up and bright. Upon closer inspection she saw it was various mirrors placed around the room reflecting the light in many directions. In a criss-cross patter the light made a net above their heads.

"Where are we?"

"The Hall of Heroes." Liam answered, a bit of amusement in his voice. "I've yet to figure out if this is an amazing plan of ingenious build or pure luck. No one ever seems to come in here at this time to see it so I can't imagine why they'd need it."

Before she could control her words, memories came rushing to her and spilling out her mouth. "There's something like this in Karucia."

"Is there?" There was genuine interest in his tone.

Mentally, Arra slapped herself. _Well, its too late to not say anything at all._ She nodded to his question. "Yes, except, if my memory serves me correctly, the floor is made of colored glass and when light hits it is sends multicolored lights around the room."

Liam nodded. "Sounds very beautiful."

Arra looked around the room seeing various paintings of Heroes and a few Heroines long dead, their favored weapons of old before them in glass cases unless it had been lost to history. Unconsciously she noticed what she was doing, trying to distract herself from continuing on the thought strand of Karucia.

The silence between them should have been peaceful but her thoughts turned on her. She was a princess. _He doesn't know that!_ That was right, he didn't know. _What keeps him to my side?_ The words leap to her lips and fought to be released. What kind of answer could she expect?

"What are we doing here?" The question came as even a surprise to Arra but Liam acted coolly.

"Looking at the display of light." Had he caught on she probably would have insisted he dropped it. But the simplicity in which he flipped it aside made her want his answer more.

"No," She whispered, not entirely sure she wanted to finish the explanation. "What is this? You and me? And for that matter why me?" Arra could feel the words and questions and the need for these answers rise and grow but she held them all back.

Liam shook his head slightly with a faint smile on his lips. He pulled her closer to him and turned her head to face him. "_We_ are, as far as I can tell, living to be content and happy. And what makes me happy, and I hope it makes you happy too, is being with you. And," He brought his face close to Arra's and said softly. "I never understood why women can't understand or realize they are beautiful, or smart, or that men might possibly be attracted to any of the traits they possess."

"I'm happy." Arra said in a barely audible voice but Liam could hear because of his close range. She couldn't explain why it was hard to . . . to say her feelings so outwardly. The only feeling she'd really ever let anyone see was her anger, which in retrospect may have even covered other feelings. Liam forced her to voice these kinds of things. Her thoughts were abruptly cut off, though it was not an unpleasant surprise, when Liam filled the space between the two of them making the connection of their lips. Of course, his kisses took up her full attention.

When they broke apart Arra noticed her shoulder sleeve had fallen and pulled it back up. In doing so she revealed her wrist which caught Liam's attention. He grabbed it and found a scar protruding from the sleeve, creeping out to the back of her hand. Slowly he lifted up her sleeve. "What is this?" He asked and as he did he revealed more and more of the scar.

"It's a scar," Arra said. "I got it a long time ago on a boating accident. I was lucky at how well it healed."

"Lucky?" He asked fully showing the spiral scar that ran from the back of her wrist all the way up to her shoulder.

"Had I been unlucky my arm would have either been torn of completely or I would've lost all use of it."

"What happened?" Liam traced the scar. It started under the muscle curve of her upper arm twisted behind and around to her elbow. From there it wrapped around her forearm once and ended on the back of her wrist, only daring to skim the back of her hand.

"I was on a boat ride with Joel and Damien. We were on our way to the Yamani Isles. A sudden storm hit us by surprise on our way. To make it simpler, one of the ropes caught my arm and almost ripped it off. There had only been a low level mage on board at the time so it didn't heal to well at first and I had to wait until we made it to the Isles before it could be properly taken care of. I don't remember very much, what I do remember is all the pain. And then waking up in a Yamani healer room."

The way he looked at it so intensely made Arra nervous. Why did he stare it so? She didn't mind having scars, but as he looked upon it she couldn't help but want him to look away. Arra pulled away and pulled down her sleeve over it and looked away from him. Liam seemed to understand and said nothing but he wouldn't let there just be silence between them. He reached out and laced his fingers with her.

"This won't last much longer, let's enjoy it." He said referring back to the lights above them. Arra smiled and leaned against him. _He's always so warm._ As the moon moved across the sky the lights changed ever so slightly making an almost dance. It became almost hypnotizing as the lights reflected off different mirrors each set at a unique angle sometimes it would hit one mirror then another and that would send it in a different direction.

Before she knew it her eyes were drooping with the leaden weight of sleep. Above the moon moved further away and the mirrors finally lost contact with it until they finally dimmed and with them Arra's eyes finally closed completely.

**xXx**

Still half-asleep, Arra flexed her hand. She met with the crunching sound of paper. She closed and re-opened her hands experimentally and sure enough there was something in her hand. Arra opened her eyes and lifted her hand in front of her face. Languidly, she unfolded the small scrap of paper to find:

_You seemed kind of sleepy so I brought you back. Hope you don't mind._

Arra read it over until it got past the sleep-fog in her mind. Finally, Arra nodded and groaned as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She stretched out with her arms over her head, she continued until she could feel her legs cramp and then relaxed. Outside the world was still dark, one lone horse's hooves pounded the paved floor. Their pace was rushed. _Who could that be at this hour?_ Arra shrugged and continued on her morning routine.

She was half-way through scrubbing her face after she had already changed when there was an insistent knocking at her door. She washed her face off and by the time she reached the door Cobalt was screeching.

"Shush!" Arra opened the door to find a female servant clearly out of breath.

"Lady . . . Arra. I—I was sent to fetch you. Please," She took a deep breath. "Come with me, its . . . urgent."

Arra nodded, took a moment to let Cobalt out, and followed the servant girl. On the way she could only think. _What could be so urgent? And why me? Mithros, what is it?_

Finally they reached a set of doors Arra noticed to be the King's. The servant knocked and lead her into the room before walking away humbly. Arra turned back to King Jonathan.

"Majesty, is there anything the matter?"

"As a matter of fact," He motioned towards a young man sitting in the chair before him. He looked tired, too tired to still be awake. His clothes looked weather-worn, much like the rest of him. He had dark blond hair and brown eyes. "He came only a small while ago on an overridden horse. He says he has a message for you. We tried to ask him what it was but all he would say was it was an urgent message for you."

Arra nodded and turned to the man. "What is it?"

The man looked up through an exhausted face. "The village of Cragwey asks fer yer help."

_Cragwey. They call upon me now._"What has happened?"

"Hurrok attacks. They've a'ready destroyed a few of the houses and killed three people. The village is doin' their best t' fend them off but . . . we can on'y do so well. I was sent to get ya." He said.

Arra nodded. Purely for curiosity she asked. "How did you know where I was? That was one thing I was worried about if you ever needed my help."

The man smiled wearily. "Rumors said ya'd be here. Ya'd be amazed how many rumors there are 'bout the Nameless Shang. Figured it would be m' best bet."

Arra's lips stretched into a thin smile. She turned to King Jonathan. "Your Majesty, may I request a short leave?"

"For how long?"

"A . . . a few weeks. I do plan to come back but I . . . ah . . . made a promise a long time ago that can not be overlooked." Arra said.

"Being a Shang I knew I couldn't keep you here forever."

"May I request one more thing?" Jonathan nodded. "Will you keep this lad here? Until he's well? He looks past exhausted." The youth jumped up in defiance but the King answered.

"It will be done. I could send a few people with you if you'd like."

Arra shook her head. "No, I'll be fine."

She bowed and headed back to her rooms. She packed quickly, grabbing essentials, leaving behind the other things knowing she'd be back just as she said. Almost done, there sounded a knock at the door. Arra answered it. She sighed. _Good, at least there's time to tell him. He won't have to hear it from someone else._ Though there was no way of knowing how he'd take Arra's next words paired with the picture of her with her packs ready.

"Liam, I have to go."

**x...:...x**

A/N: I had planned to make this ending a little meaner than I ended up doing it but I figured I'd already made you wait two weeks at least I could be a little kind. I don't usually like to make promises but here's close enough, I WILL TRY MY VERY HARDEST TO GET THE NEXT CHAPTER OUT IN ONE WEEK.

Thank you all for being so understanding of my virus problem, but everything is back on my computer, I'm back to typing and Virus protection has been re-instanlled. Yay!

Alright. If you've been to my bio you know that I MIGHT have a sequel to this but I was thinking and I'd like for you guys to vote. Here are your choices. (If you want me to continue anything related to this story at all, that is.) I've got to be vague on certain things as to keep the storyline for this one safe but I want to know what you guys think:

**x-**A prequel about Arra. Her in Shang training with Joel and Damien. It's going to be embarrasing at times, that'll be fun.

or.

**x-**A sequel (this is where it gets . . . vague) I'm thinking something about the power of three . . . swords will be included, there will be romance . . . involved. I've got somethings planned out, but I haven't decided fully.

or.

**x-**I do both the sequel and prequel. But the prequel will be done first.

(**Warning:** the prequel and sequel will more than likely be more spin-offs than anything. Like . . . not very connected to the characters of Tamora Pierce but still in her world.)

I know the sequel explanation doesn't sound interesting but . . . I'm sorry. When this SOTNS is finished I'll explain further. But for now vote to the best of your abilities. I'll be taking the votes till . . . hmmm, hadn't really decided till when. Maybe till the end of the story. So, unless I say otherwise feel free to voice your opinions through (drumroll)

YOU GOT IT! **_REVIEW!_**


	21. Past Acquaintances

A/N: I know this is short, and probably even a little late. But please forgive me. I've been under a lot of stress, my school hates me, family's a little crazy . . . you know that old cliché. Thank you for reminders for me to update (they make me feel loved or something like that. To me it means you actually care. Lol.) But, the biggest and most annoying reason for . . . a lot is because I got stung by a **_BEE_**. No, I'm not allergic, but my hand swelled up and I couldn't even tie my shoe. And as I write this it is still pretty swollen. And then, because I am just oh so lucky, I got stung on the other hand right in the middle of one of my soccer games! How annoying.

So thank you for understanding, please do enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN. BELONGS TO TAMORA PIERCE. Except of course anything you don't recognize from her books and the story line.

**x...:...x**

Liam stood before her, his mouth slightly agape. Then finally: "What?"

_How do I explain in such a short amount of time? I need to leave now. _Arra forced herself to slow down, Liam didn't need a rushed explanation with no real answers in it, that, utimately, made most people more confused. "Liam, I'm leaving for a while. There's a city that needs my help."

He was in control, she could tell, just very surprised. "Why _your _help?"

"I . . ." She trailed off. Taking a deep breath she continued. "Its a debt I owe them, possibly for the rest of my life. "

"This debt, why do you owe them something?"

Arra wanted to stop the words from coming out and just leave. _That's what I'm good at, running away or leaving or . . ._ but before she knew it Arra was explaining everything to him, well everything she'd mentally allow herself. "Did you ever hear why I was the Nameless Shang?" Liam shook his head. "Their biggest reason was because they found out I had the gift and because they found out in the worst possible way.

"Since I had not had . . . training in my Gift I suppose it was inevitable. Well, you know what happens when you don't have any control over your Gift or you've at least heard stories," Liam seemed to be catching on but didn't want to believe what he was hearing. "I think you know what I'm talking about, well I . . . I just . . . I was in Scanra when it happened, in the Scanran part of the Grimhold Mountains. I . . . don't really want to get into details but the town was destroyed and I think maybe a dozen people had survived in all, thought they were all in some way injured. I stayed with them longer to help rebuild the city, most of them were just angry and sad but I understood. I stayed until I was called by the Shang Council before I left I promised the city of Cragwey they could call upon me whenever they needed, it was my debt to them."

Arra looked to Liam, hoping he understood and was relieved by what was there. He stood and said grudgingly. "Then I suppose you have to go then?" Arra nodded. He nooded and kissed her on the cheek. "Just come back, that's all I can ask."

Arra smiled. "I've got to come back, I'm still learning about my Gift."

"That can't possibly be the only reason."

"It is." She said simply. "Unless there's something I ought to know."

Liam sighed but said nothing. Arra caught on and thought maybe she'd gone too far with her joke. She opened her pack and pulled something out. Arra pulled Liam down to her height and pressed a kiss hard on his mouth while placing something in his hand. When she pulled away she said. "This," She said indicating the bracelet she'd put there, "is my promise, I'll come back and for you more than anything else."

"And the kiss?"

"Well, that will just have to last you until I come back." She answered once again feeling the pressure of the necessity to leave. Would she make it to Cragwey on time?

"That's not going to last." In one swift motion Liam pulled Arra into him kissing her deeply and thoroughly momentarily pushing Cragwey to another part of her mind. After a few moments she pushed away breathing a little more hard than before.

"I need to leave." She said in as much composure as she possibly could. It couldn't be prolonged any longer. Arra walked out the door and practically ran down the hallway.

**xXx**

In all of his nineteen years of life Liam didn't think he'd seen someone move so fast. Just pack up and leave so fast. Not counting the King's Own of course.

He opened his hand slowly to reveal its contents. There sat the bracelet, made of silver that looked like an exact replica of vines. They wrapped around each other, intwining so much it was impossible to trace one single strand. _Or maybe its all one vine strand tangled on itself._

Liam closed his hand and slipped the ruby decorated bracelet into his pocket. Even if he didn't really want her to leave he knew she had to, it was part of who she was.

A feeling, deep in his gut, rose. It twisted into his belly and clutched his heart and continued to tickle his mind just asking him to remember. He tried to shake it away. Since his Ordeal, he had tried to throw that one picture away above the others. _But the bracelet,_ he grabbed it through the pocket material, _it hadn't been in the vision- nightmare . . . whatever it was! _

Despite not wanting to, he pulled forth the picture in his mind:

She was still, her skin white as marble and just as perfect. He didn't really touch her in the vision but somehow he knew if he did her skin wouldn't be warm. Her wavy hair tumbled around her too still face. There was also something he had not expected in the picture. She was in a dress, one that clung to her thin body in a style of dress he had never known to be in Tortall.

She was dead he knew.

In dreams, nothing has to be said for something to be understood. It was the same with the Ordeal's vision. Arra lay still on a slab of some sort and behind her stood a crowd of people. One, he knew, was sad though he could not see the face but . . . he was truly sad. Another stood beside him. Somehow Liam could tell this one was not sad at all, in fact he would venture to say he was . . . happy.

_But she had this very bracelet with her in the vision._

He grabbed the bracelet once again through his breeches just to be sure it was there. _I couldn't have stopped her even if I wanted to._

Did the Ordeal often show things that the person feared most? If so then did he fear her dying more above other things? Or . . . or was it some kind of message-vision from the Chamber?

"Maybe I'll do some research on this insignia." Liam murmured to himself.

**xXx**

Arra tried not to push Ghost too hard, but Cragwey sat in her mind, unmoving and imperitive. The sky and temperature were unnaturally kind, not a cloud took residence in the sky and the night was cool though promised to become cooler. Arra pulled her dark blue on light blue cloak around her tighter and continued the pace. She needed to get there as soon as possible but the Grimhold Mountains were far off. _I'm not going to make it in one night and I can't over-do Ghost or she won't make it the rest of the trip._

Arra sighed. "Come on girl," She said patting Ghost's side. "We'll ride till the sun is almost down and then stop for a rest."

Ghost, in response, shook her head, flicked an ear and continued. Arra took it as a good sign.

The sun carved its path across the sky, its daily journey, and when the promised break-time came Arra felt as if she hadn't gone far enough. She was ready to continue when she noticed the sweat streaks down Ghost's flanks. At the moment Arra sat in between two major towns. _That's perfectly fine. I don't want to stay in a big Inn._

She decided to take residence at a small inn. Arra let Ghost be taken away by one young stableboy, but he looked capable. She hoped Ghost would be rested and ready for how early she wanted to continue their journey the next day. _Only a few hours of sleep, nothing more. _She requested one small room, she wouldn't be using if for long anyways.

Arra debated whether or not to go down to the bar. _I probably shouldn't . . . what good would it do me?_ She went down anyway for at least _one_ nerve soothing drink. Arra ordered from the bar instead of sitting down at a table waiting.

"Ain't ya a mite small to be getting drinks?" The man said making a sign with his forefinger and thumb indicating 'small'. Arra only glared and he got the picture.

She waited for a few moments before something warm slid up from the top of her thigh and rested on her hip. A hand, she realized. Then a voice from behind her came close to her ear and whispered huskily, "Hey there."

Without so much as a second thought Arra spun around fist ready. She threw off the hand from her waist and let her fisted hand meet the man's face despite the height difference.

"I'd forgotten how good your right hook was, and how fast you were to use it." He said from the ground.

Arra's eyes widened. She then noticed the honey brown hair and dark expressive grey eyes. There he sat, right there on the ground, just smiling up at her. She didn't notice the bartender say her drink was ready. She only stared. The thought passed her mind unwanted. _He loves me . . ._

Finally she swallowed. "Joel?"

**x..:..x**

A/N: Ack! Please forgive me for the lateness and the shortness. I know, I know.

Oh yeah, remember to keep voting for the sequel and prequel stuff if you haven't. I'm keeping up the votes.

Please REVIEW. Honestly they keep me going. Without them the story would whither and die.

So remember to click that little button and tell me just what you think. Whether you hate it, you want to shoot me, it was alright but still kinda sucked. You know. Just anything.


	22. Arrival at Cragwey

A/N: Ahhhhh, yes. I'm sure you're all tired of me asking for forgiveness so I'll only leave a reason. Before I had my computer to myself (lucky me) and now I'm sharing it with two other people who just so happen to be internet/computer addicts like me. So writing time let along posting time is hard to come by. That is all.

Dislcaimer: Don't own. Don't sue. If you sue I'll direct you right to this part here. (and don't steal either, the things/people you don't recognize belong to me and me alone. Ask if you think you might want to use them.)

**x..:..x**

King Jonathan sat behind his desk unable to bring his concentration to the work in front of him.

Arra. She was an intriguing character. Despite her seeming openness to tell them her story their was most definetly something secret about her. No, he didn't expect a moment-by-moment retelling of her past but . . . what was it about her that made you want to know?

Jon thought back to one of his conversations with the Pheonix, one during the time Arra fell ill.

"_I don't think even we ever knew everything about her," The Pheonix began. "She came to the Shang when she was four but . . . those four years always seemed important."_

"_What do you mean?" Jon asked._

"_I mean . . . those four years were the big mystery, the unknown of her life. She wouldn't let out much about it and yet you had to trust her, she was only, after all, four but . . ."_

_Jonathan waited patiently as the Pheonix took a drink from what he'd offered earlier._

"_But there was always a knowledge about her. It was odd. When I met her she was . . . I believe six and yet she seemed so much older. She talked proper and she already knew a few languages--I learned that one later. When you look into a young persons eyes they always seem just . . . innocent. No matter what has happened at that age they are innocent. But when you looked into hers . . ." The Pheonix trailed off. Jonathan waited, realizing he was reminiscing. "Her eyes held an unnatural knowledge, and I've not a clue how to explain it further."_

Jonathan leaned against the back of his chair. When going through something day by day it is like only seeing something tree by tree and not the whole forest. Was it odd that Liam had been attacked with the same poison Arra had first come to them contaminated with? His mind said yes. Was it normal she'd come down with a sleep disease that not only sucked her life force but also her Gift? His mind supplied a no.

How many other variables were there he had not yet even heard of? What was it about this Nameless Shang?

_Those four years . . ._

Someone burst through the door. "King Jonathan we bring urgent news!"

**xXx**

"What have you been up to in the last . . . has it _already_ been two years?" Arra nodded and took a swig of her drink. "Say something, anything, I haven't heard you really say anything for years now."

"What do you want me to say?" She asked.

The silence streched and placed itself over them. Joel's eyes grew soft and Arra could somehow feel that he knew she didn't really want to say anything but she tried again anyway. "I _really_ did miss you."

He reached a hand across the table and cupped her cheek. He didn't say anything just stared at her. Only after a small while she pulled away and stood up. "I need to be getting some rest. I have to leave early tomorrow."

Arra stood up to leave but just as she walked past him his hand shot out and caught her own. It was pure reflex to try and pull away but his hold proved too strong.

"Arra I'll come with you wherever you go." It seemed like a lasting promise encompassing more than this one moment. Arra nodded wordlessly and walked on into her room.

A loud ear piercing screech shot through the silence some time later. Following it came another, less painful, one. The frist had already shaken Arra from any chance at going to sleep soon. She dressed quicky only half noticing what she was doing.

Yawning she thought,_ At least I had a few good hours of sleep. Maybe I should thank that annoying bird for helping me to an early start._

Arra hadn't really unpacked anythng so she left the room clean. Stepping out of the room she realized the bird was still screeching.

The innkeeper (who, she remembered, was also the bartender) was all a riot, yelling and complaining.

"Sir? What is it?" Arra asked.

"Its that bird! The people will complain and possibly ruin what little business I get!" _At least he admits he gets little business._ He took a deep breath but his tone wasn't much different. "There's already a girl out there, I think, but she's not doing a very good job."

"I'll take care of it." Arra took out her handling gloves and put them on just in case.

"Quiet you stupid bird!" A female voice said, a voice that sounded oddly familiar. When Arra came into view the voice stopped suddenly; the bird, too, stopped his noisemaking.

_I should have known._ "Cobalt, I thought I left you back in Tortall." She held up her arm to which Cobalt answered, flying and landing perfectly. Arra was ready to walk away but Cobalt disagreed with that plan. In a flash of blue and white, he spread his wings to their full span and gave a semi-soft cry.

With his wings obviously obstructing her view she could take a hint.

She spun around and Cobalt brought back down his wings though still perched rigid. Suspicion led the rest of the way. The girl tried to turn away from Arra's view, slightly covering her face with one hand and started to walk away. Arra acted. She grabbed on of her shoulders and forced the girl to face her.

Arra narrowed her eyes. "I thought I left you back in Tortall, too."

Lianne smiled sheepishly.

"What are you doing here?" Her words were tight and bitten off. Lianne opened her mouth but found no words in her fear of Arra's anger. Arra grabbed her forearm and pulled her along to the stables. _Might as well multitask._

Arra let go of Lianne's arm for a moment to grab Ghost's saddle. The princess stopped following until Arra gave her a sharp look and she continued. Arra stopped for only a short while and turned to the stableboy from the day before, "Go and tell the innkeeper I'll be leaving now and all the money I owe him is in the room. If he doubts me tell him to se for himself and make it quick before I'm gone."

The youth nodded quickly and left.

"Now, Lianne, I want you to tell me what you are doing here." Arra placed the saddle on Ghost's white back.

"Well, you see . . ." She started slowly but then quickly picked up speed, "I had caught word you'd left. I-" She paused. "well I didn't really think anything, just packed and left."

Lianne flinched when Arra pulled one of the straps. "I see. Did you leave a note or anything saying you'd left?" She seemed calm but Lianne could tell anger lied just below the surface.

She swallowed. "No."

Just then Joel walked in; he smiled briefly towards Arra and continued on to ready his horse without so much as an explaination. _Well of course not, I know where he's going. With me._

Arra led Ghost oustide with Lianne still in tow. Arra gave her an expectant look.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to ready your mount?" Arra asked. "I know you didn't get here by walking."

"Am . . . am I going with you?" Lianne ventured carefully.

Arra looked her straight in the eyes with a hard gaze. "You are coming with me because I do not have the time to turn back and I can't send you back on your own." _I could send her with Joel . . . but I don't think he'd go._

Lianne practically ran back to the stable with a new excited tremor to her movements. Arra sighed and scrounged for a scrap of paper. She found nothing and just decided to take one of the sheets from her sketchbook. Grabbing one of her drawing utensils she wrote a short note to King Jonathan.

_Lianne is here with me safe and sound. I can't bring her back just yet there won't be enough time and I can't wait for you to send someone. Who knows what could happen in even that time._

_I'll bring her back safely. No harm will come to her._

_Arra_

She held her gloved arm aloft and whistled to Cobalt who few instantly to her. Not having anything to tie the note to him she hoped he could hold it in his beak for the full way. _Pkease let this work._ Cobalt accepted the folded scrap of paper in his blue tipped beak. She repeated where he was to go with it over and over. By the glint in his dark beady eyes Arra had the feeling he understood. She threw him to the air and he headed off immediatley.

Arra turned around to find both Joel and Lianne ready to go.

"Who is this?" Joel asked pointing a thumb in her direction.

"Joel this is Lianne she'll be coming with us. Lianne, meet Joel the Shang Hawk." She hopped onto Ghost and said quickly. "Let's go!"

o o o

Talking didn't seem to be a problem with them. For the full two and a half days of their travel talk came easy and Arra had a chance to see Lianne in a light she'd never before seen. In Corus she'd been talkative only if necessary and though they did have nice conversations, they never seemed to flow. _Maybe its because she's away from there._

_A bird may sing a new song once it's freed from the cage._

The only thing that had really bothered her during the trip was Joel's lingering eyes. She tried to look away or ignore but she knew what or rather who he was looking at.

"Arra how much farther?" Lianne asked. They'd been traveling through rocky terrain for sometime now.

"Just around this hill then its sort of dug out and the city sits inside of it." Lianne nodded and continued to follow.

Hurroks had been seen flying overhead for the past few hours but there was almost nothing they could do until they reached the city. Cobalt had shown up only that very morning with the news from Tortall. Basically, the note said it was alright but if Lianne came back hurt Lianne would have some fault in it.

Arra patted Ghost. Her ears constantly flicked back in a fidgety manner and her muscles would tense at odd times. _She knows what's coming._ Finally, they made it around the hill and Arra raced forward only to find the city more or less peaceful.

"She's here! She's here!" Cries rose from the small city of Cragwey. Some doors opened carefully and faces peeked through.

Arra noticed the damage around the city. Some houses had collapsed roofs, though most had long claw marks along any surface. Still she walked into the city carefully despite the eerie calmness. Someone came up to her, an middle-aged woman.

"So ya really did come to help us. Surprisin'. I'd thought for sure you'd, if anythin' leave us to die here." She spat on the ground and walked away. Just as she did another, younger, woman came up.

"Please do forgive her. She's close to old age and don't understand."

Arra slid off of Ghost. _I've been here for a total of five minutes and already I've been praised and scorned without so much as a word from my lips._ "If you don't mind me asking, where are the hurroks I heard were attacking the city?"

"Ah, yes," She young woman owned honest brown eyes and smooth blonde hair. "They only hunt durin' the night."

Perhaps it was the sheer bluntness of her words but Arra was taken slightly by surprise. Hurroks smart enough to hunt at night? Either way she shook her head from side to side to clear it. By now Joel and Lianne had already ridden up. "So, what do you want me to do until then?"

"We'll prepare rooms for ya and ya can wait until the sun goes down. Thas all we can really do." Arra nodded. The city knew her place here. Their protector and nothing else. She sighed.

"Alright. May I request a bow and arrows?" The woman nodded and headed off.

o o o

"Surely you don't plan to keep me locked up here!" Lianne said loudly, which seemed to be her form of yelling.

"That is _exactly _what I'm planning. Has anyone ever told your your quite sharp?" Arra strung the bow as she talked. Lianne's flace flushed with annoyance at her jibe.

"If I had wanted to be kept safely under lock I would have stayed back in Tortall." She said.

Arra set the bow down and looked at her slowly. "May I remind you that you shouldn't be here at all. So while you are, you will listen to me. And I say you will stay here. You can have a bow and arrows just in case things get sticky."

"Even Joel gets to go!" Arra laughed suddenly.

"He is a Shang where you are not. He is also ten years older than you. I believe he is far more qualified."

"Even if he does act like a child." Lianne mumbled.

"He does, but only sometimes." Yes, it was true he acted much like a child sometimes but Lianne only saw one part of him. Another part of him was a serious fighter. The part she saw was only when he was in a good mood and with company.

Arra finally pulled her hair back and grabbed the bow. With the arrow's already on her back she was ready. Excitement mingled with just a touch of fear in the pit of her stomach. Oddly though, she didn't think she'd die here. _There's always a chance though. _A picture of Liam grinning passed by in her mind, his black hair falling into his shining hazel eyes. _There may be a chance but . . . I **won't** die._

Joel had been stationed at another end of the small city so they could at least divide and conquer even if it was just an army of two.

The sun crept slowly down in an array off colors. The sun itself glowed bright orange. Horrid cries from the hurroks began to fill the air. Scratching along the cliffs could be heard and finally Arra knew what her job would be next.

**x...:...x**

A/N: Next chapter, as you have probably guessed, will completely skip over the action scene. HAHA. Just kidding. It will in fact have the action scene, but I warn you after that it might be a bit . . .anti-climactic. I ask that you be patient and hold on for a chapter or two. Hehe, the fun's just beginning.

HOLY CRAP! You guys outdid yourselves. 19 reviews for last chapter alone. It may not seem like a lot for some of those writer-people who get like 5 million, but it makes me smile! And over 6,000 hits on this story. SOOOO! Muchas Gracias! And don't let all of this praise make you forget to . . . yes you know where I'm going with this . . . **REVIEW!**


	23. Paying for Mistakes

A/N: You want an action scene I give you one. But! I never claimed to be a good writer so it might not be very good and I've come to terms with that.

Disclaimer: Wow this gets old fast. I don't own this world or anything of the like. It belongs to Tamora Pierce. I only own the story line and what you don't recognize.

**x...:...x**

The hurrok swept down, its claws fully extended. Arra fell back dodging it and shooting off an arrow at the same time. The creature fell in a black heap, the arrow striking its heart full on. Arra got back up with a grunt and pulled another arrow and readied it. _It being so mountainous out here they have plenty of hiding spots._

Just as the thought came some rocks tumbled down signaling the flight of another hurrok before it came. Arra shot another arrow and right when she released she slipped on a rock changing the course. It veered off and skimmed the horse head creating a deep gash. The thing let out a cry and more hurroks answered the call.

Arra cursed. Quickly she brought the first down then one after another she swung arrows into place with profound speed making more fall down in turn with heavy thumps.

Blood pounded hard in her ears and her veins felt thick. Arra tried to shake away the feeling but it stayed. With her own heartbeat too loud in her ears she almost missed the breathing behind her. She jumped forward spun around to find the hurrok still close to her. Arra jumped back onto her hands, brought up her feet and let them meet the creature's throat painfully before dragging it up to where it met the head. The horrible winged creature made a gagging sound, spit up thick dark blood and collapsed.

Then there was silence. The silence soon shifted into an eerie pause in the afore fast-paced battle. Only a moment passed before Arra realized the reason for it. _They're waiting for it to be pitch black._

"Joel!" Arra cried to the darkness.

"Where are you?" He called back.

Arra concentrated on her crystal blue gift. She pulled and coaxed it until it pooled into her hand, becoming a bright beacon of light. "Here Joel."

She heard his footsteps before he stepped into her light range. He looked slightly surprised to be seeing Arra using the Gift so freely. Examining him she found his only visible wounds consisted of three scratches, two above his eyebrow and the third on his cheekbone. _He was lucky they didn't take his eye._

Arra reached up and unconsciously touched the bleeding scratch on his cheekbone. He gave only the slightest wince. "Are you alright?"

Joel grinned, "I'm fine," The smile fell and his eyes searched her. "Are _you_ okay?"

"For now." She nodded. His eyes darted over her for a while until he felt satisfied that she wasn't mortally wounded.

"So what's going on? Do you think its over?" Arra caught the unbelieving tone in his voice. It _was _odd to, in the heat of the battle, just have everything stop so suddenly.

She shook her head. "No, they're waiting," She glanced at his arrows before saying. "Give them to me."

Joel handed them over without a second thought. _Amazing how he trusts me so, for all he knows I could be planning on taking these for myself._ But of course she wasn't. Arra took a hold of all the arrows at once. _I hope this works._ She pushed some of her Gift through to the arrows, trying to plant it in every one, not too much but just enough to give it a soft blue glow. She repeated the procedure upon her own. Arra gave Joel back what was his with a little improvement.

"They should give you some source of light to help you see a little better, but I make no promises at how long they'll last," Arra thought for a moment and added. "They may be attracted to you because your a light source now and easier to spot."

He nodded. "Thats fine. I'd rather be able to see a short distance in front of me and have _some_ chance rather than be in complete darkness where I would have to fight dumb, deaf, and blind compared to the hurroks."

On impulse, Arr took a moment to look into Joel's eyes. His dark grey orbs contained puddles of the blue light which somehow created a look of stern seriousness. Before her very eyes, a series of emotions passed through those eyes. An almost sad look came into his features before he moved towards her suddenly. Joel grabbed her chin and kissed her quickly, not knowing when the hurroks would return, and whispered afterwards: "Don't die."

It had been something they would say to each other when they were younger. "Only if _you _don't die!" She yelled as he started to walk away to this post across the small town. Arra heard his chuckle then:

"I'll do my best."

_His kiss isn't . . . its . . ._, she knew what she felt, _its not Liam's._

Arra readied one of the glowing arrows on the bow. She strained her ears to hear any hint the hurroks were coming. There is was! Pebbles tumbled down the side of the mountain signaling, she guessed, a hurrok taking flight somewhere on her left side. Arra caught the second sound that helped to confirm her guess. It sounded like a flapping robe but it was, more than likely, the wind catching on hurrok wings.

Arra snapped into action, pulling the arrow into ready position. If the hurrok knew it was flying in the pathway to death it didn't bother to change its course. Arra shot the arrow when she found a blob in the shadows that was darker than the rest around it. The arrow glowed until it struck the beast and the tip still glowed when it came out the other end with dark blood caking it. Was it just her or did the magicked arrows slice through the hurroks easier?

A shadow moved in the distance. Arra was instantly ready to loose her arrow before she noticed it held nothing of the shape of a hurrok, not even of a horse. Then light flickered on and there was a candle in a pair of hands. _The people of this city are not nearly so stupid, even the daring ones. They know the light would only direct a hurrok to that spot . . . which is why all of the lights are off and _my _job isn't very easy at the moment._ There was something around the figure wich created a lump at its back. Curiosity driving her, Arra jogged to see who it was.

_By the gods!_ Couldn't she listen for _two_ moments? Why did she do these things? Arra could feel a growl in her throat. She began, "Lianne, do words _not_ get through to you? Or is it just when you hear 'no' in a sentence you automatically omit that from your memory at all?" Her words were furious.

Lianne turned to her and the candlelight made the shadows dance across her face. Arra noticed it was her bow and arrow slung across her back that had created the lump.

"Lianne--" Arra began the sentence but didn't finish it. A shadow that could not possibly be a shadow with the light flickering off of it stood behind the youngest Conte. Arra dropped the bow and arrow in her hands and grabbed Lianne by the shoulders spinning her away just in time for the teeth of the hurrok to miss the princess but not in time for them to miss herself.

The pain didn't seem just to come from the entry point but her whole shoulder felt immersed in the pain and it slowly spread to her neck and down her arm. Her eyes watered but she clenched her teeth and managed. "Shoot it! NOW!"

Lianne snapped out of a trance-like state, gathered herself up, before struggling with the bow and arrow. "I-I don't know if I can."

"I don't care if you—ahh!" She took a breath, "can but you _will._"

The hurrok sensed what was happening and began to pull away, Arra's flesh still captured in its jaws. This time she couldn't stop the sound of pain as she let out a cry. Finally, as if something finally clicked Lianne released the arrow. It struck the creature right in the forehead. Except it wasn't just one arrow it was two.

The beast's legs were locked even in death and Arra was thankful for it. Joel ran up to the scene yelling, "Lianne get the hurrok off!" _Ah, yes, Joel's was the second arrow._ Lianne didn't seem to have so much of a problem as she set down the bow next to the candle. She tried to loose the jaw out of Arra's shoulder.

Joel finally came and helped, they even managed to clear the teeth from the skin before the sun showed its rays over the mountains. _Though it definetly wasn't painless!_

"Come on I'll carry you." Joel motioned to Arra who clutched her left shoulder with the opposite hand.

"No! My _legs_ aren't hurt, I can walk." Arra lifted herself from the ground where she had been leaning against a weak stone wall. She sighed when Joel walked next to her anyways. _To make sure I don't fall._

The sunlight hit certain clouds making some pink and others slate grey. The mountains blocked the actual sun, and would for a few hours yet, but you could see the light working to chase the night away. It was the eerie glow of dawn that had no sun.

The blood started to ooze from in between Arra's fingers by the time they reached the house they'd been told the only healer resided. It was a simply brown crude stone house like all of the others except it was a bit bigger. _A special house for the healer?_ But when Joel knocked on the door they were met with a child's cries.

They shared questioning looks, except Lianne who seemed to be busy with her own thoughts. The door opened and there stood a fairly plump woman with a crying child on her hip. The woman had her light brown hair pulled away from her round face as she cooed to the baby. She stopped for a moment took a step, looked out searching the skies then nodded and turned to them. "What can I do fer ya?"

Joel motioned to Arra's shoulder as if asking if it wasn't obvious. "We were told the healer lived here."

"She does. I'll call her." _So she isn't the healer? _"I'm Fayla," She said shortly before motioning they could come in, she turned away and called to the house. "Rei! Wake up!"

Fayla walked away as if her job was done, setting the baby down in a crib of some sort.

Arra looked around the room. Crude toys made from straw and cloth and bits of wood littered the ground. There were beds in the room they were presently, or maybe the house was one large, thrown together, room. Miscellaneous items decorated the walls which were simple adobe stones. A table set in the middle of the room had one lone flower sitting atop of it in a a small chipped bowl.

The woman, Fayla, came back from what Arra guessed was the kitchen because she was considerably more messy. "She ain't up yet? Rekha! Up. NOW!"

Then suddenly a figure sat up straight as a board in one of the beds in the corner farthest from them. The girl looked about fifteen and no older. She mumbled incoherent things and finally uncovered herself revealing very dark hair and dark colored skin. _Surprising. Do people around these parts usually carry those kind of looks?_

She shrugged only causing more pain from the shoulder. The sharpness died down and then it was only the consistent, more bearable, pain of having an open wound.

Rekha stepped of the bed and for one disoriented moment only stood there before saying, "Fayla did ya know there's a' injured person sitting in here?"

"Yes! That's why I've been trying to wake ya up ya lazy excuse for any kind of healer!" Fayla yelled and the child from before started to cry again. Two children peaked their heads from around a corner before hiding again. _How many children are in this household?_

Somehow the girl had gotten close to her without Arra noticing, probably because she'd been thinking. "I warn ya I'm not a very good healer, I've only had a littl' training but it was good enough trainin'. Could ya please move yer hand?"

Arra complied pulling away her bloodied hand. The wound felt open, vulnerable. A cooling sensation swam over it and Arra sighed. A few moments later the coolness felt like water flowing down her arm before warming with her skin then it was back to normal. But then a throbbing pain returned and she winced.

"Thas all I can do with m' Gift, b-but I can put some salve on it and wrap it. I cleaned the wound and healed it a bit." She had stuttered when she reached for the salve and was presently rubbing it over her shoulder. Arra winced and Joel hissed in sympathy. Rekha was kind enough to go to a private area to wrap her shoulder. Again, a small child's head peaked from around a doorway. Rekha noticed her questioning look this time.

"Fayla ain't our mother, any of us." She stated tying off the dressings. "She took us in after . . ." She coughed. "After the city was destroyed b' fire."

Arra noted how she skipped around the fact that it was the person sitting in front of her that had caused the fire. She winced. "Was your family . . . ah . . . a victim?"

Rekha nodded. "Just m' mother, but she was all I had."

"I'm sorry." Arra whispered tears springing to her eyes. Rekha nodded. _What? Did I think she would console me for destroying her family?_ Arra touched the newly injured shoulder lightly. "I still pay for my mistakes."

Arra stood and walked from the room pulling in her emotions into a tight rein but she noticed Rekha's eyes were full of tears too.

o o o

"Arra are you sure you should be up here?" Lianne called up to Arra.

"What else am I supposed to do with this shoulder? Joel's been taking care of reconstruction and staying around so people can glare at me or other people can cry when they see me and still others can thank me for 'saving' their city isn't exaclty fun." Her arm was in a sling but she'd done well enough climbing up one of the smaller mountain sides with only one arm.

Lianne shrugged.

Arra flicked her eyes to her before trying to climb just a bit higher. Joel had been working on fixing the roofs with only his breeches on. She'd caught Lianne looking once before she adverted her eyes blushing. _Why would he be wearing so little anyways? It's not like its unbearably hot._ Arra shook her head and and finally stopped to admire the view before her.

In the distance the mountains fell into hills that rolled until smooth plains replaced it. Her eyes followed the path sliding, falling calmly as if it didn't bother fighting what it had to do. It just rolled along. The grass looked almost too green which only added to the peaceful look. She breathed in deeply and smiled. The smile widened into a grin and Arra knew she had to be radiating the happiness she felt in her gut. Then her chest pulsed. For a moment she thought it was her heart beating strongly as it usually did when she got excited like during a fight. But she realized the pulsing wasn't coming from behind her left breast where her heart lay but directly in the center of her chest.

She took a glance inside her shirt and the hand print glowed slightly. _Fate._ No resentment laced her thought. The smile returned to her face. _Maybe I've actually done _something _right._

The pulsing stopped.

For a moment Arra didn't know what to make of it. Was her thought correct? _Had_ she done something right?

Arra looked out upon the scene. The feeling of happiness that filled her seemed too good to be true. She took a seat on the rock and just smiled. _I'll handle whatever I have to._

**x...:...x**

A/N: Now, that wasn't _soooo_ bad was it? Next chapter is going to get **very** interesting I think. (If its not . . . then let it be known that I'm sorry I said it was going to be! I may decide last minute to put off the idea another chapter.) I don't think my writing was too good for this chapter though . . .sorry! And I'm not entirely sure I have the "Scanran" accent right . . .but I do my best to try.

I LOVE the feedback you guys are giving me. With it I'm trying to improve my writing. Thank you! Though I'm not really sure how to answer them. I'm just . . . itching to answer a select few.


	24. Indulge

A/N: What can I say? Its been a hectic couple of weeks. I tried to make this one a bit longer as a sorry. So please read and enjoy.

Disclaimer: I wished upon a star that I could own this, but then I told someone. Not only did they laugh at me now it won't come true. Darn. Well, I DON'T own this world and many of the characters but a few I do.

I know the beginning is a bit confusing.

**x...:...x**

Liam closed the book biting his lip. He felt bad, sitting in his room when people down in the city were being hurt. It sat wrong in his chest as if he should be doing something but, alas, he'd been confined to his room.

Only a few days ago, delegates from . . . what had they said again? Ah, yes, Karucia. They wore red and black uniforms with a silver horse rearing on the left breast. That alone had surprised him. He remembered thinking, _Red, black and silver . . . where have I seen that color scheme?_ Then it struck him as he remembered the bracelet.

For a split moment he thought perhaps this all had something to do with the bracelet. Had it been something important in Karucia? If so, why did Arra have it? And supposing, also, that it was important in Karucia how long had it been missing and how did they track it to Tortall?

But talk about the bracelet never came. The delegate's words brought both relief and confusion:

(flashback)

_He bowed low. The man had asked for a formal meeting with the King and Queen of Tortall. "I represent Karucia in this meeting," His tone bordered on being informal. "I apologize for being so straight forward but I come in serous business that cannot be put off."_

_Jonathan and Thayet nodded for him to continue and he did: "We have reason to believe that our Princess Semarra is here in Tortall. King Emereth would like his daughter back at home in Karucia."_

"_What has led you here?" King Jonathan questioned._

_The delegate gave a small smile. "We would know. And further more our Princess has been pinpointed to this area, Corus."_

(end of flashback)

Liam rubbed his temples slowly. He felt sure if he tried he could piece together . . . something, he wasn't sure exactly what but there was _something_ there. He just wasn't sure he wanted to know. But still there sat that need, that want, to know. It was almost a competition of wanting to know and fearing what the knowledge would do.

He sighed.

Liam wasn't sure what exactly his father had said but he'd caught word that he'd said something to the effect of, "Your princess isn't here, I assure you."

That apparently had made the delegate angry, or frustrated for he left without a pleasant look on his face.

All of it raised too many questions. The questions themselves couldn't be identified, only as a swirling of confusion. Or maybe he didn't want to put words to them.

Liam lifted the bracelet again from the table which sat in one of the farther corners of his room. Looking at it brought only the relief that Arra would be coming back at all. Somehow he knew she didn't speak falsely when she promised. A sudden thought hit him. Had Arra always been shrouded in such mystery? Had he just now noticed this about her? Or had the mysteries just sprung from the ground like a weed?

The days that passed after the delegate came seemed what could be best guessed as peaceful but looking back perhaps they were eerie. Liam didn't know when exactly it started or when it was official they were under siege but it most definitely had started and there was no turning back.

Karucia stormed their coast on a combination group of fast boats and large sturdy ones. From there they did not even pause but leaked onto land and stormed their city before Tortallans fully realized what was happening. Their magic chewed away at the brunt of Tortallans attempt of counterattack pushing them back to defenses. Jonathan even called most of the people in the lower city who could make it to the inner walls. Their mages were tricky with their spells.

A war with Karucia may not have been impossible to win but it certainly wouldn't be easy.

Why were they doing this? For one princess? _Yes, wars are often started over things like that._ Liam shook his head as to rid himself of that thought.

**xXx**

Arra smiled to Tortall's capital in the distance. They'd be there by nightfall most likely. The mountains had never been her favorite land form and seeing them scale down to hills before flattening out into long striding prairies was calming. Cobalt flew ahead with a high-pitched sound so they would recognize she was leaving.

"Arra, how about we stop here for a while. Lunch?" Joel asked. Arra nodded her agreement. They stopped and stayed near a clump of trees.

Cragwey had sent along some food for the journey and their threesome appreciated it.

Arra had asked, carefully, if Rekha wanted to come with them to Tortall to learn more healing and then she could come back if she so wished but the young healer declined. She said that in the time it took her to learn all there was to know who could tell what would happen to her city? _It had been worth asking._

Arra ate slowly realizing she wasn't very hungry and it seemed Joel noticed too.

"Is your shoulder bothering you?"

Arra shook her head. Though her shoulder still ached and pounded at times that wasn't what bothered her. It was something else. Something she couldn't name. Lianne cleaned up what was left of their lunch, not at all complaining. Arra stood from the ground and just as they were about to mount and head off again she caught the sound from the air first. Screeching.

A blue form could be seen racing towards them. The sound that spewed from it caused ringing in the ears. _What is the matter with him?_ Cobalt flew so hurriedly that when he tried to stop his claws dug into Ghost's flesh. The usually calm mare bucked and cried out almost hitting Arra. She flipped back out of the immediate danger.

She glanced to the side of her to see Joel readying a bow.

"Joel, I _know_ you are not going to shoot my horse! I know you weren't even _thinking_ it!" Arra growled.

"She's gone mad!"

"She's been hurt you half-wit!" Arra yelled to him. Joel lowered the bow.

Ghost still thrashed around and Arra noticed that Cobalt was fighting his claws free. Arra took a chance she was sure no one in their right mind would. She swung onto Ghost's back then continued the motion curving to the front of her neck. Arra grabbed two white ears and pulled down to the ground. Ghost's breathing still came hard but her moving had stopped.

Untold, Lianne pulled Cobalt free. As soon as that was done he soared up into the air before coming back down calmer.

"Thank you Lianne." Lianne nodded as Cobalt landed neatly on Arra's gloved hand. _She hasn't spoken much lately,_ Arra thought before turning to the large bird. His dark beady eyes were held wide. She whispered, "What is it Cobalt?"

In answer he screeched louder than he usually would this close to her and held out a hastily tied note on his leg. She plucked it off and and let him fly away though he only went as far as the saddle on Ghost's back. The mare looked back at him and huffed.

Arra opened the scrap of paper and knew instantly it was written in haste, though it was still legible:

_Come quickly_

_Trouble_

_Liam_

Arra didn't let the shock and fear penetrate too far into her system before shooing Cobalt to flight, jumping on Ghost and kicking off without warning. Joel looked to Lianne. "We better hurry, that mare of hers is very fast."

Lianne smiled.

When they finally caught up Arra told them quickly what the note said. At that Lianne too seemed more inclined to be haste.

They made it to the outskirts of Corus right as the sun rested on the horizon. Red, black and silver filled Arra's vision till the name spilled over her lips. "Karucia."

Tents in those colors littered the land and flags were raised in the lower city. _Wha-_ She couldn't even finish the question in her thoughts she was so frozen in surprise. She almost missed Lianne's question.

"Arra, what are we going to do?"

"Ride through when the sun goes completely down." She answered, finally getting her throat to work.

Lianne shook her head. "No," Her eyes were pleading. "We should go now."

Arra didn't try to hide her surprise. Had those words really come from Lianne? A smile found its way to her face. "All right. I was more thinking for your sake anyways. We'll have to try and pass by them quickly. Lianne you stay in between Joel and I, got it?"

Lianne nodded. Joel too nodded. They set off, no more words really needing to be said.

Most of the Karucians were either going to bed or there already but they were smart enough to have a night shift ready to take the place. Arra watched as some tried to get at least one small nick in before they went speeding off but she was careful and even kicked a few away. She ignored the pain in her shoulder at such a jostling quite consciously. Lianne listened, thankfully, and stayed in between the two Shang.

They reached the gates to the city where they were let in though not without plenty of convincing. The thing that really changed their minds was when Lianne became furious at them. Secretly, Arra was slightly proud.

They slowed not one whit until they reached the actual palace. Arra sighed and let her poor exhausted mare be taken away by trusted stable hands and made her way inside, packs and all, with Joel and Lianne in tow. Word spread quickly that the Nameless Shang had returned.

A servant was there to meet them; she smiled a little tightly, "Princess Lianne, we've missed you around the Palace," She turned to Arra, "welcome back, your rooms are still in tact and you," She has spotted Joel, "we'll find something for you."

"We don't have time! What is going on?" Lianne demanded.

"His Highness says it is being taken care of in the best possible way right now. He would like you to get some rest and you'll be informed in the morning." She said in a memorized way. Arra nodded feeling the weariness in her bones and her shoulder started to ache again. _Maybe I'll go to the healer first._ She nodded slowly to herself.

Joel almost ran after her but was caught by the servant. "I'll show you to your room." He searched the immediate space around him but Lianne had left swiftly and Arra was nowhere to be seen.

After the healing her shoulder felt immensely better for it. It still ached dully but that could not be avoided. Too tired to do anything of any importance Arra made her way to her rooms. She opened it to find it the way she'd left it, empty. Arra didn't know how, but she made it to the other side of the room with the bed snugly in the corner and collapsed on it. So deep in sleep was she, she didn't notice the knocking on her door.

oOo

Arra awoke as if it had been any other day. She yawned, stood and stretched. She walked over to a basin full of water and washed her face scrubbing it. It wasn't until she was nearly finished her mind fully woke up, jolted to life. And she remembered everything.

The Karucians that littered just outside the city.

Who knew what they would do?

Then just a few thoughts later another thing hit her. _I brought Joel here._ It was like a clashing of different lives. Too different and she had hoped they would never have had to meet. On one hand she had the boy from her childhood, the one who loved her. She knew she could never really love him in that way, the way he wanted. On the other hand she had the Prince, who . . . who had captured her.

_We'll see, we'll see. Don't get ahead of yourself, take things as they come when you can._

Arra dressed and opened the door to leave. She was swept up and swung around, the door closed in the movement. She laughed and hugged him back. Liam whispered huskily, "I missed you," before he spread kissed from her neck leading a trail across her face and finally landing on her lips.

She smiled against him and she knew he smiled back. Arra pushed herself away, her hands on his chest, to get a breath. "I missed you, too. And you'll be happy to know I brought your sister back safe and sound."

"I knew you would," Liam paused and Arra took the time to look into his hazel eyes. "Did you hear? They say another Shang is here too."

Arra sighed. "Yes I know, he came with me." Liam looked slightly shocked. "Thats Joel, I've told you about him before."

Liam nodded his eyes a bit shaded. "Well, my father has a feeling you will want to know what exactly is going on—I know Lianne does—so I volunteered to bring you to him to fill you in." As an afterthought he added. "I'm sure he won't mind if Joel comes."

"Except I don't know where the servant led him." She ducked her head in shame. _I just left him so suddenly._ She rubbed her forehead. Liam noticed and said nothing.

He smiled. "I'm sure I could figure out where he is . . .like possibly down this hall." Liam's tone was vague and Arra shot him a suspicious look. He only shrugged.

Down the hall they went. The couple caught up on the last few weeks. Arra would have given a less detailed version of her story but Liam prodded until he received the whole story. "What I would _give_."

"To what? Be bitten by a hurrok. Oh no, maybe its to have your life on the line!" She was grinning.

"Yes . . .and no. To be able to do that and _know _I'll live. To . . .to be able to take that much time from your life to leave like that. Or maybe _that_ is your life and your taking time off to be here," He smiled. "I am _incredibly_ jealous Lianne went."

Arra snorted. Liam grabbed her arm. "This is the room."

Once again she raised her brow but knocked on the door nonetheless. Joel answered, thankfully fully clothed. His eyes lit. "Arra! Good morning." He made a motion to give her a kiss. He skimmed her lips before she stiffened and turned away flicking her eyes to Liam. Joel noticed this and gave an easy smile, one Liam tried to return and succeeded for the most part. "Forgive me I hadn't seen you."

Arra moved in, "This is Prince Liam, he'll be, ah, escorting us to--"

"My father will be informing you all on the present problem in Tortall, well your allowed to come if you want. Its perfectly understandable if you don't." Liam said smoothly.

"I'll come." He said instantly his eyes flashed something Arra couldn't read. _When did this happen? I remember when I could read him like a book._

Arra could _feel_ the tension all the way down each and every hall, though Joel seemed perfectly calm. Liam was the source of worry. His movement looked smooth as any trained princes' should but she could tell he was rigid. _Please Liam don't jump to anything. Let me explain. Please wait for me to be able to tell you._ In conversation his voice wasn't cold but it certainly didn't hold the same secret warmth it had before.

oOo

"_They continue to say things about finding their princess. They say she's here, in Corus, but we have no idea what their talking about." King Jonathan said._

Arra sat on a balcony she'd found, hand over her mouth. She couldn't remember how she got there, she had just wandered until she decided to settle down. _They've found me. They've finally found me. I think I knew they would but . . . here it is staring me in the face!_

Arra took two deep breaths. A sudden realization hit her. She could run, she could leave now and the Karucians would probably lose sight of her again. She could become someone else again. Someone new. For a split moment she saw, she saw that there _were_ roads but they didn't apply to her. She could come and go as she pleased. Arra shook those thoughts away. It was wrong. If she did that the Karucians wouldn't just leave and she'd be leaving Tortall with nothing but a problem.

_Choice._

_Then I choose—_

There sounded a long exhalation of breath. Arra turned around; it was Liam. A shine in his eyes she hadn't seen before told her too much but it faded away, "Don't cry."

"Hm?" Arra reached up and found her cheeks wet.

Liam sat down beside her. She reached out but he shook his head. _He's very calm. I know I wouldn't be in the same position._ "Who-who exactly is this Joel?"

Arra caught all of the undertones to that question and let out a sigh of her own. "Like I've said before we've known each other for a very long time. I was six and he was already eleven the first time I ever met him. I won't go through every detail but . . ." She paused. "I wasn't sure when it really happened but one day out of the blue he told me that he liked me, more than he thought was normal. For . . . years I tried to like him the same way if only for him. I cared for him—still do—but I couldn't ever love him the way he wanted." She paused again. She'd finally said it aloud. Joel loved her.

"I've tried and tried to give him any way to understand that, hopefully without hurting him too badly. I know he'd not stupid, he's very bright, but he always seems to be dim-witted when it comes to this, or maybe he just turns a blind eye."

Liam stayed quiet even when he was sure she was done. Arra noticed his fist unclench though, which she took to be a good sign. "Its was just hard. Jealousy is never a good thing I understand but . . ." He turned his hazel gaze full on her. "I know its silly but . . . he can kiss you Arra and if anyone knows nobody cares! I want to kiss you, kiss you whenever I please and not have some big court looming over me."

Arra's heart trembled. She knew that before her explaination that hadn't been his only problem but part of it had been solved. She reached out, and this time he let her; Arra pulled him to her and let his head rest under hers. He wrapped his arms around her thin frame and she raked her fingers through his thick black hair. "Liam." She sighed.

_I know. I know I've got to tell him. Tell him everything. Then I'll tell his parents and do what I _need_ to do._

From their point on the balcony the sliver of a moon could be seen clearly against the star embedded sky. Arra knew what would come next but put it off for just a while. The pressure of Liam's body was reassuring; he was real. _Just a bit longer. Just a few more moments let me indulge myself._

**x...:...x**

A/N: Just four more days of school then I'm off for a week! (THANKSGIVING YAY!) I'll try to work on more chapters but I make NO PROMISES!

This story is turning out to be a lot longer than I planned . . . I'm pretty sure (like 99.9) that this WILL NOT end at chapter 30. I'm not sure if thats good or bad but I'm trying not to rush the story too much and for what I've got planned ending it at chapter 30 might be rushing it just a wee bit.

**_REVIEWS_** are appreciated.


	25. Truths Thrice Confessed

A/N: Ah, yes here we are. Chapter 25. Maybe I shouldn't be saying this but . . . oh well its my choice. See if you can recognize a **certain name.** Haha.

Disclaimer: This lovely world belongs to Tamora Pierce I'm just toying with it a bit.

**x...:...x**

Arra checked the hall one more time before knocking on the door. A short moment passed and the door swung open. "Arra, come in."

Arra nodded and entered. She started to pace across Liam's room. Was she going to do this? Really do this?_ I've already come this far._

"Arra is something the matter?" Liam asked, falling into a chair, still watching her pace back and forth.

She thought about nodding then maybe shaking her head and ended up doing neither. "Just, ah, g-give me a moment."

Arra shook her head realizing how incredibly silly it would sound. To be telling a _prince_ that she was a princess who'd left and stayed away for far too many years. _And then I"ll tell his parents which isn't much easier._ She would seem the coward, or at least she felt like the coward, in their presence, even at the thought of it. _My reason being I was scared, or didn't want my fate when they had braved that and become exactly what they were supposed to. _And what would Liam think? Would he rebuke her because he'd only liked her because she wasn't a princess or a proper Lady? Would he think it a joke because she wanted to be of the same status as him?

Arra flushed in anger, frustration, and embarrassment at any _one_ of those thoughts.

She finally stopped pacing and looked up to find Liam writing something. She cleared her throat forcing herself rather than deciding that this needed to be done, "Liam, do you think the Karucians would just leave if they had their princess?"

"So they claim. Though they do seem like they would." He looked up. "Why?"

"Wh-what if I told you that I . . ." She swallowed. "That I could make them leave? Without your father having to make a pact with them to search for—for their princess?"

"Then I would tell you to divulge this great plan to me because the only way I can think of is to give them their princess and we don't know where she is." He said.

Her head pounded the same way it had when she had come close to telling Damien, "Give me to them, I'll go."

"You want us to dress you up and pretend your their princess?" Humor etched his words. "Somehow I don't think that'll work. They seem like they know who their princess really is."

"That's not what I mean." She said gravely.

His eyebrows snapped together and his hazel eyes spoke of confusion. "Then what _do_ you mean, Arra?"

This was it. She _could _answer 'nothing' it wasn't too late. _But I can't, I won't. This_ has_ to be done._ She motioned outside vaguely as she said. "Its me. It's me they want," It didn't seem sufficient. "I am their princess."

The silence stretched. Liam sputtered but it quickly turned to laughter. "Your kidding right? In this kind of situation people do crazy things. Don't worry about trying to save us. My father is working on getting a translator just in case he needs one, though its hard to find one that speaks Karucian here in Tortall, and he'll try to work with them to find their princess and everything will be alright. We'll either find her or we make a promise that if we do we'll return her."

Arra flushed in frustration a shade darker than before. "Then you'll be searching futilely! I _am_ that princess. Princess Semarra, that is me!" Her frustration grew towards where she thought the only sounds that would come wouldn't be coherent so she clenched her jaw tight. How many years had she kept this a secret? Fourteen! Fourteen long years! _I guess I was _too_ good at hiding it._

She turned away from him, tempted to growl.

"You're serious aren't you?"

Arra had a strong urge to say something sarcastic but held back and just nodded.

"B-but how? The Shang Phoenix said you began training to be a Shang when you were four. How—" He stopped not being able to put words to his confusion.

"I know its confusing but right now I just need you to trust me."

Liam sighed. His footsteps were almost silent but in a few moments he stood behind her. His arms were around her and he said, "Either your insane and your just making up false memories or this is true," he set his head on hers easily; she could almost feel him close his eyes, "If this _is _true I'm going to want a long explanation."

"That is exactly what's coming next," _Now who would have thought this would be harder than telling him I'm a princess?_ Tears flooded into her eyes. "Liam think. Think what will happen if I am their princess—and I am—what will they do?"

He was silent for a split moment. "You'll have to go." Liam's voice was far away. Then he turned her around to face him. Arra saw his eyes were wide and crazed. He whispered, "No.

"Stay, it could work. Stay hidden here and it could smooth over again."

Arra smiled and put her hand on his cheek. "No, I can't. I've run away from being a princess for fourteen years. I won't do it any longer."

_For some reason it feels like he only pretends to believe me just so I won't get angry._ She sighed. Arra untangled herself from his arms and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To tell a servant that I wish to speak with the King and then that's exactly what I'll do." She answered him. Liam nodded, his hand on his chin as if thinking something. His hazel eyes looked serene until she took a closer look. Underneath the cover, emotions swam wild. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, held it and finally let go. When his eyes came open again the emotions remained but they had settled. _I won't try to read them._ Arra thought tearing her eyes away.

A warm hand took hold of her chin and Liam placed a soft kiss to Arra's lips. A fire she suspected wasn't her gift rose into her chest. She wanted more than this one kiss from him. Arra pushed away a little sadly. "This has to be done _today._"

Liam smiled but nodded. She held her hand on the door before turning one last time. "Will you be there? When I tell . . . everyone?"

"I"ll try."

_Thats the best I can hope for. _With that she stepped out of Prince Liam's room.

Arra wasted no time. She pushed back the nervousness as far away as she could and tried to find a servant not so close to Liam's rooms. Somehow she ended up finding the messenger-servant from the day before, "Could you deliver a message to King Jonathan?"

The woman nodded her light brown hair moving curtly with her head..

"Tell him that I," She guessed the servant knew her from the day before, "need a word with him, preferably not an open meeting." As an afterthought she added, "Tell Liam when this is happening also." It no longer seemed to matter if she thought something was between the two of them.

A look of confusion passed over the servant's features. "Why don't you just go talk to him, the King I mean? I hear you've done it before."

_She'll talk back to me because I'm not a noble. _Arra just shook her head. "Tell him . . . tell him I know where Princess Semarra is."

Her eyes widened but figuring Arra wouldn't lie about something like that at this time she left to deliver the message. _Telling Liam was hard but . . . at least it was only him. _Once again nervousness and even embarrassment rose into her system. She walked to her room and plopped down on her bed to stare at the ceiling.

And Joel? What should she do about him? _Tell him of course._ Arra bit her lip. **Life is never easy.**_ I wish Damien were here. He needs to know too._ Just then a knock sounded at the door. Arra rose instantly to get it thinking it was the servant coming to tell her the King would see her. When she opened the door she was only half-right.

"H-he followed me when I told him I was delivering a message to you." The servant explained. "The King says he can see you now."

Arra nodded and turned to Joel. There was one thing she knew and that was if he was there when she told everyone it wouldn't be good. She would have to give it to him slowly to ease any shock or pain that might ensue. _He may have taken me having the Gift well but it is more common to have the Gift than it is to be a princess._ "Joel, you may not want to come for this, it . . . won't be pretty."

"Nonsense! I"ll come." He smiled sweetly. Arra shook her head and growled stepping out of the room.

"No, please stay, go out to the practice fields, something." _Please,_ she begged mentally,_ please._ Joel raised a brow at her in suspicion and continued to walk by her side. He said nothing but made no move to leave. She sighed unsure of how all of this would turn out.

The halls, she was sure, were decorated nicely. Joel probably tried to start a conversation many times and the servant might have made a comment. But Arra wasn't sure. Her thoughts, her mind, her whole self was away from Corus and away from all of Tortall entirely. Walking down that tortuously long hall she realized this might be the last time would be 'Arra the Nameless Shang' to them. _No, I'll still be the Nameless Hang . . . I always will be but this will be the last time that that is _all_ they see me as._

_When did they make this hall shorter?_ The door loomed. _Here we go._ The servant knocked, waited for an answer before opening it and waiting for Arra to enter. She did, stiffly. The servant left without a word and closed the door. Arra swallowed and ticked off the people in the room. King Jonathan, Queen Thayet, Alanna, when her eyes fell to Lianne Jonathan answered her look.

"She _insisted_ on being here." Arra nodded signaling it was fine. _I suppose she deserves to know._

Thayet coughed. "You said something about Princess Semarra?"

Arra nodded again. Where was Liam? Had the servant told him? Mentally she shrugged but her tension didn't ease. _Go_, her thoughts prodded her body to move and act. _Go._ Arra opened her mouth and the door opened with it and closed with a loud sound.

"Am I late?" Liam's voice sounded. No one answered though as he walked up to Arra's side. She shook her head and mouthed to him, 'Go stand with them.' Something in her eyes spoke to him and he nodded.

The storm inside of her settled. She could do this and even if she couldn't she _would_. Arra wanted to say her whole story looking at the ground away from penetrating eyes but she held her ground and looked up. She would meet their eyes. Arra cleared her throat and spoke, "Please, try not to interrupt me I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish otherwise."

She had expected the confused nods. _Jump in and don't beat around._

"I was born Semarra of--" She translated quickly, "Silver Crest, Princess of Karucia." Gasps and whispers Arra decided to ignore filled the chamber they were in. She took a glance at Lianne. Her eyes were wide and she was obviously frozen is shock. _Where to go from here?_

"My Gift runs in my father's side but is granted only to the females. The . . . peculiarities of the certain Gift I won't go into too far but it does bring Awareness at a young age. I could read, write, do simple maths, and speak fairly well by the age of one. By three I realized what exactly a princess does for her country with that realization my three year old self fell into depression.

"My maid, Marina, seemed to be the only one who noticed. She took me away and handed me over to the Shang in Maren. They did not find my Gift and I was accepted into Shang.

"At first I thought I'd never return. That it was my past. But as time progressed I thought maybe I'd return . . .someday, sometime after I finally received my Name. You see, to become a Shang became something I knew that if I gave up I'd call myself a quitter the rest of my life so I hung in promising I might go back after the Naming . . . if I ever got there. Slowly something revealed itself to me. Wouldn't it be odd for their long lost princess to suddenly show up out of nowhere? Then I also remembered why I had left in the first place and from there I told myself I would _not_ be returning."

Arra took another deep breath and kept her back straight and did not shy away from their stares. "I come forward now to try and relieve what damage I have caused." She paused then whispered. "I am sorry."

By now Joel no longer stood beside her at all but backed against the nearest wall. Later Arra would reflect and _know_ that Joel's face had been the hardest to bear. His face so twisted it seemed he suffered from some physical agony. Arra tore her gaze away. Next was Lianne's her face permanently set at a glare. _Her thoughts being something along the lines of, 'who was she to tell me not to run away? To order me like some perfect person?'_

Alanna's face held nothing but surprise. Jonathan had his eyes closed and his hands pressed together over his mouth while Thayet's eyes were wide.

Arra was on the verge of trembling. Liam moved to stand by her. "Father, what will you do?"

Liam's fingers worked until they found Arra's hand and took hold. This did not go unnoticed. Arra noticed Joel nod tightly and then leave the room immediately. _I think I've lost him._ And the thought saddened her. She'd known him most of her life and he couldn't stand by her now.

Jonathan finally opened his eyes and they immediately locked on the connection of Liam's hand on Arra's. "What else can we do but give her to the Karucians if she really is their princess?"

"We can't do that!"

Arra squeezed his hand. "That is what has to be done, Liam. I knew that when I told you and everyone else." She looked to the Royal couple sitting side by side. "I will leave as soon as possible if that is what is completely necessary. I'll prove I am their princess and take them out of Tortallan lands."

King Jonathan spoke, "We already had a meeting set up with them for this evening. I suppose now we have something important to tell them. You can return at that time."

His voice wasn't cold or cruel and she heard the dismissal. She nodded taking her hand from Liam's hold and leaving with a bow. Her foot barely placed outside the doorway the whispers started up. _I suppose I'll have to get used to whispers._ Arra found a random male servant and asked him, "Do you know where the Shang Hawk's rooms are?"

"I'm sorry, but he's left." The man said and continued on.

"I see . . ." She whispered. Gone, he was gone and without a word. _He's hurt. Far more than I wanted to ever make him hurt._

Inside her room Arra lifted the packs she'd used on the journey to Cragwey and back. _I guess I'm packed for the most part._ She gathered the rest of the things she had left behind. Picking up the Shang gloves she looked at the design on them. Left hand with the Fire bird right hand with only an orb.

"The Shang Fire bird." Arra said aloud. The words from the letter he had sent with the gloves stood out in her mind, but don't forget who you are. "And I am the Nameless Shang."

Arra had understood what he meant by that and the combination of putting the Fire bird on her left hand, her weaker side, and only the Orb on her right hand, her stronger side.

Arra finished packing up her things, all of them. She stood for a while doing nothing, just a pause in her life, before moving and laying curled up on her side staring at the opposite wall. Everything had gone too fast for any of this to seem real. Arra took no count of any real thoughts she just stared in a daze.

Dully she heard a knock at the door.

"Come in." She called back equally dull.

Arra heard the door open and close. She didn't look but soon enough she knew who it was when they knelt down in front of her.

"You okay?"Liam asked. Arra nodded her response before turning over and scooting closer to the wall. A weight pressed the bed at her back. For a moment she thought maybe Liam had taken a seat until his arms wrapped around her, pressing her back to his chest. She didn't know if he just had nothing to say or if he knew she needed the silence. _Yes . . . that sounds right. I _need_ the silence._

After a while Arra turned around and resettled herself. Liam must have noticed but he kept his eyes peacefully closed. Arra admired his handsome face and placed a hand on his cheek. He opened his hazel eyes at her touch. Liam pulled her closer to him before taking her small hands into his larger ones.

He spoke in a whisper, "Are you scared?"

Arra thought she'd miss the silence but his voice was just as comforting. "No," She whispered back, "not scared really. This is just a bit to take in, thats all."

"If it makes you feel any better," He grinned, "Everyone else is confused too. I think part of the reason they believe you is because they know you wouldn't lie about something like that."

The silence returned after that and their lips met. His lips were warm and softly moved against hers. It was Liam who broke the kiss after what seemed like forever. His eyes were serious. He put his hand over her lips.

"Arra," His voice was gentle and soft, "I know I love you." He noticed her eyes widen and he smiled. "I won't put you on the spot and demand to know whether you love me too. I . . . just wanted you to know."

Arra wasn't sure she'd be able to answer anyways. _Do I love him?_ Liam lifted himself from her bed and straightened out looking completely calm while Arra felt like she'd been doused with too cold water. "I believe its near time for the meeting with the Karucians. They'll call you down. I'll be there just a bit later."

He left and Arra noticed the bracelet still on the bed next to her where he had been. Had he left it there on purpose or by accident? She shrugged but pocketed it.

**oOo**

Arra didn't need to explain her whole story to the Karucians she only confessed.

"How do we know you aren't lying?" One man asked. He was commander over the army, named Feran. The name buzzed at the back of her mind. "You could very well be some random person wanting to become a princess. And from what I can gather, the princess doesn't seem like the type to just show herself after fourteen years."

He had the Karucian accent, while the words were spoken well there was still a slight twist to tell you he wasn't from Tortall. His hair was a deep, rich brown and his eyes were a dull grey. His nose looked like it had been broken one too many times and he owned a nasty scar from his chin up to his temple.

Arra's eyes narrowed. "You speak as if you knew me, then or now," She paused then took out the bracelet. "This was given to me by my mother, Queen Iolana, from the Queen's own treasury. Examine it if you need to, question me, you may even test my blood with a healer but I assure you I am Princess Semarra."

One of the older Karucian knights came forward. "Feran you were too young to remember Queen Iolana, may she rest in peace, but I remember her, and this young girl looks almost exactly like her. Except the hair of course."

Arra was surprised at how quiet Jonathan and Thayet were but there was nothing she could do about it.

The older man leaned in close and whispered in Karucian to Feran, though Arra overheard, "Besides you've the Gift can't you sense the oddities of her Gift?"

Feran nodded sourly and said back in a voice much louder than a whisper, still in Karucian, "So I suppose they really were hiding her from us."

"I'll have you know they did not even know I was a princess at all!" Arra said heatedly in Karucian.

Something glinted in his eye. Feran's lip twitched as if he held a secret he wanted to smile at. He turned to the Royal couple of Tortall. "Yes, she is ours. We will leave at her command and that of King Emereth."

"I will need to get my things. Then we will leave as soon as possible."

"Spoken like a true princess." Feran murmured in Karucian.

**x...:...x**

A/N: Hm . . . what to comment on first? I don't know. What do _you_ think? Please **_REVIEW_** and give me your opinion. Whether its critiquing or just a 'hiya I like your story' I love love love reviews.

The button is just too tempting for you to resist. Click it. You know you want to. (haha )

I just had to add this part here. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! And as a sidenote I just now realized there is a reply button-clickie-thing for signed reviews SO that means from here on out if there is something I want to reply on (of course for signed reviews only) I'll probably use that. I've never used it so I don't know what will happen . . . if you don't want me to do this then I won't.


	26. Karucia

A/N: The word 'poncho' will be used. If you think it wouldn't fit in this . . . sorry, I just wasn't ingenious enough to come up with a good name.

Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce's. Not mine.

**x...:...x**

_He kissed her forehead then moved to each of her cheeks planting warm kisses there, too. His lips came dangerously close to her own and she braced herself for the feel of it, but it never came. He was close . . . so close she wanted to scream with frustration._

"_I love you; remember that." She wasn't sure what made her tingle more, his lips just barely brushing her own it felt like feathers or his warm breath washing over her. Then finally he moved and she anticipated his kiss. He was almost there--_

—until the boat rocked and Arra's eyes snapped open. She remembered she wasn't back in Tortall saying goodbye to Liam anymore—had it really been days ago or had the days already turned to weeks?--and sighed. _And the dream had been getting good too._ Arra stood from the mildly comfortable bed in the cabin she'd been given for the ride and walked outside. Cobalt was there too though she hadn't dared to put him in a cage. Instead he sat atop the boat.

The sky looked like one large inky mass specked with stars. She stepped out further and leaned on the edge of the boat. The water looked as dark as the sky and was only set off by the peaks of white that came up every now and then on the waves.

The heavy footsteps of hard boots and a clank sounded behind her. Suddenly, Arra felt a slap across her behind with something hard, not a hand. A voice followed soon after, "A Princess shouldn't slouch."

She had jerked up and spun around at the slap. The person behind her wasn't tall for a man, but he wasn't exactly short either. He owned long light red hair pulled back into a horse tail. His face looked boyish and somehow his eyes were a hard blue. Mirth seemed tucked in at his lips as if they itched to be brought up into a smile. Despite his young looking face faint lines of crow's feet sprung out from too many laughs. And yet those eyes . . .they didn't fit. He leaned on his unsheathed longsword. Arra's eyes narrowed. She had of course noticed he spoke in Karucian and spoke with the same dialect. "And you know how to use that sword?"

"Of course."

"Well then you'd know not to try it on me unless you want a fight." Arra said as lightly as she could.

The man laughed a good humor. "I couldn't fight a woman and at that a princess."

Arra flicked a glance at the sword he leaned on before she moved. She kicked the sword near the bottom in a low sideways crouch levering it just right. She came underneath his arm when he lost his balance and jabbed her elbow into the joint of his armpit; she twisted the sword from his grasp and spun to slide it into place, right at his throat.

"I wasn't raised as a princess remember that." She said and backed away handing him his sword which he immediately resheathed.

Once again his smile returned. "It is always nice and refreshing to see a woman who can fight, especially one as beautiful as yourself."

Arra didn't blush, only gave him a sideways glance before turning back to the seemingly endless pools of darkness.

"I'm Andy—Andrew but I never really liked it so I do my best with what I've got." He smiled once again.

"I"m--"

"I know, Princess Semarra."

She scrunched her nose. "I don't walk around telling people to call me 'Semarra' though, I go by Arra."

"And not a whit less fitting for a beautiful woman."

Arra just sighed. She hadn't known then that he wouldn't be the only one to say such words to her or that he'd be the only true friend for a time. No, she just looked out not knowing that the respect of the man next to her had already grown.

**xXx**

The man looked out over vast stretching of land. He was past middle-aged but all he had to show for it were fine silver hairs streaking every other dark curl atop his head and some sprinkled through his mustache. He owned a pair of dark blue eyes. He exhaled for no reason in particular and turned away from the window.

King Emereth had never really let go of hope that he'd find his daughter. He had promised that if he ever caught even a slight breeze of her existence he would tear trees from the very ground with bare hands before he gave up. And when he'd heard that she was in Tortall . . . yes, sending his war troops might have been a bit much but she had been worth it. It seemed far more surreal when Feran sent word that they had in fact found her—he'd see soon enough.

It still angered him a bit to think of everything that had brought this. It angered him that the horrid maid—Marina had it been?--had taken her in the first place. Law required that when they found her she be killed for her acts. His anger had fired forward again not when the male servant had told him of his daughter in Tortall, but that his own son had known.

And then Emereth would beat himself up over not remembering that this particular Gift called to Gift. How could he have forgotten? It was part of family history, learning the aspects of the Gift being just as important as learning about the family, more so even. His son had known! He could still see the almost bored look in his eyes when he flung the information that she'd been in Corus for a while at him carelessly.

The boy, had he always been like that?

He loved him if only because he was his son but . . . he hardly understood the boy. And then there was his twin, she seemed easier to understand. She looked and acted exactly like one would expect a princess to—dangerously proud, enjoying men's looks, and a seeming empty space where thoughts should be.

And yet his—he was tempted to say 'real'--first daughter was really returning.

Emereth had given orders not to provide her with beautiful silk clothing, or rain her with priceless jewels. No, he wanted to see her. This was what he was most curious about. How would she look? The most recent picture of her face in his memory was when she was four a time when children tended to look all the same since they hadn't yet grown into unique looks. But of course he remembered her having dark curls like his and crystal blue eyes from her mother.

He turned his thoughts away from her mother, his long dead wife. He thought he'd be able to be angry with his daughter, because she'd left or been taken and Iolana had died, but he couldn't do it.

He brought back his thoughts to Semarra—Arra he remembered she had liked to be called, did she still? Or had she taken a completely different name?

The King's look returned to the window. He'd forgotten how many days in all they'd already been on the ocean. It didn't matter, he'd already been informed they should arrive sometime this evening. Emereth looked around the expansive study lined with bookshelves. The whole room was decorated with green. It wasn't drenched in green but the color was clearly portrayed.

The walls were a rich green delicately bordered in gold. The bookshelves were make from a light colored wood that was closely related to the gold color. The chairs were green and gold too, gold diamond shapes over the green color.

He loved the room because Iolana had.

Emereth didn't know how long he sat there reminiscing (long lost children tend to have that kind of effect) but it must have been a long time because an older male servant came in.

He bowed then said as way of explanation, "I knocked, Majesty, and you didn't answer so I entered," Emereth nodded for him to continue. "The Princess Semarra will be here in a short while."

Emereth stood immediately, unconsciously dusting off his clothes. He wasn't sure why but he felt he had to impress this girl—woman, he reminded himself. She'd be a young woman by now.

He walked down to the large room they'd be receiving her in. His present wife, Adelle, waited there wearing a white under dress and green over-vest to match her eyes with their two children waiting also clothed in finery. Emereth did not want to sit on some grand throne to meet her. He wanted this to go easily and some people might find it uncomfortable to have to walk _all_ the way up to the front of the room. So they stood and waited.

The great doors opened.

The soldiers in red, black and silver walked in first before fanning out and revealing the princess. Emereth's eyes were locked on her.

The thing he noticed first and foremost was that she walked sure-footed and with what he could best describe as perfect balance. Her hair, still dark as it had ever been though sun-streaked, had grown out of its childhood curls into waves. Her clothes looked comfortable consisting of simple breeches and cotton shirt. Her range of sight encompassed them all and her look was calculating then he noticed her eyes. Crystal blue, Iolana's eyes. She had the same looks too. She stopped and he realized she stood before them now. Her height wasn't challenging in the least and he remembered Iolana had not been very tall either.

Yes, this had to be his daughter. It _had_ to be unless it was just a cruel trick of the gods that she look so alike to his beloved Iolana.

**xXx**

Arra, with the same kind of resolution as she had back in Tortall, stood straight and walked calmly noticing the examining eyes. Her boots padded softly against the tiled floor. She wished she had, in the very least, Cobalt's weight on her arm but there had been very little he'd wanted to eat aboard the ship so she let him loose.

The man, her father she guessed, studied her intensely. He jerked then hesitated but a part of him won over the other because he maneuvered around his children and brought Arra into an embrace. She realized that he was greeting her like a father not a king and relaxed patting his back.

She felt something wet soak through her hair and realized he was crying and saying: "Oh, my daughter!"

"Father," Saying it didn't seem odd. She remembered calling him that when she had been younger, "I know it took me a while to return to you."

He pulled out of the embrace and laughed. He placed his hands on either side of her face still smiling, "That it did."

Someone cleared their throat, "Hm?" Her father asked. It had been the young boy. "Oh yes! This is my son Zedar, my daughter Zefra, and my wife Adelle."

All three, she noticed, owned somewhat of the same thin face.

Zedar had dirty blond hair and he owned piercing green orbs behind bored, half lidded eyes. He had one silver stud in his ear and one in his nose. His sister, Zefra, had darker blond hair and murkier, almost clouded, green eyes. The two shared some of the same features like the same razor nose, and also the same lips with the lower one just a bit more full than the one above. Oddly enough it worked for each of them and didn't take away from their good looks.

Adelle's hair was pinned up but some of it fell down in soft red curls. The pins had small shimmering jewels on them that matched the ones dangling from each of her ears. She had a kind face and emerald green eyes. Her pale skin didn't look sickly but she did have a frail look about her. Adelle put a hand on each of her child's shoulders and smiled.

Arra studied the clothing. It had changed, as fashions do, from the glimpse shed seen of it in the vision Fate had given her before. Adelle wore a white under dress with flaring sleeves that at first glance would seem simple enough until one noticed the intricacies worked in with white stitching to match the cloth. The thicker green over-vest was of the same kind of seeming simplicity that was bordered in a white braid that circled around the bottom hem came up and around the neckline.

The daughter, Zefra, wore much the same thing though in different colors. _More _blinding_ colors._ Arra thought as she eyed the bright magenta under dress and blue over-vest. The bright contrast hurt her eyes to look at for too long. _I hope she isn't a trend setter for color scheme._ The over-vest of each was not held by a clasp but a leather band as wide as the space across Arra's palm. It was held together by three very small clasps.

Zedar wore more eye-friendly colors, loose dark green breeches (the loose breeches being the style of Karucia), aqua-blue undershirt with and with something that looked like a large piece of cloth with a hole for the head in the same dark green. They were much like tunics only often made out of thicker material and went just a bit wider on the shoulders.What were they called? Oh yes, a _poncho_. The end of the _poncho_ ended right below the knee and it was tied at the waist with the same kind of leather-clasp combination.

Her father wore much the same style but his loose breeches and _poncho_ were a deep rich brown and his undershirt was sapphire blue.

Her eyes came back to the boy, Zedar. When they did, he raised his green eyes to meet hers. There was a strong pressure in the room. Arra couldn't quite name what it was exactly. It didn't feel anything like nervousness or fear. It was more _real_ as if she could reach out and grab it, whatever _it_ was. Something gave and a splitting headache erupted through her skull. She gasped and clutched the pounding head, her Shang training being the only thing keeping her afoot.

"Are you all right?" Genuine concern was written on Emereth's face. She nodded and swept her gaze across the family again. Was . . . was Zedar smiling? "Perhaps you should rest. We'll have plenty of time to catch up." He smiled.

He called over a servant who showed her the way to her rooms. Each hall brought back memories though they were decorated differently. _I couldn't have expected everything to stay the same after fourteen years._

The room was large and decorated in beige, white and brown. All of them perfectly neutral colors. She liked the way everything was assembled but it seemed a little too bland. There were doorways leading off of the main room that she had yet to explore.

"Is something the matter, Princess?" The servant asked noting surroundings. "Perhaps you want a different room or a change to this one?"

"Ah, would it be too much to ask?"

"Of course not."

She thought for a moment. "Would it be alright to add some . . .blue?"

"Of course, highness." She said and left.

_Highness._ She let out a long sigh. Her head began to pound again reminding her why she had been led to the room in the first place. She went over to the bed that jutted of the wall; to the left of it was a door. _I'll look into it later, gods know I have the time. _Arra crawled onto the bed and rolled up underneath the white silk covers laying her head on the chestnut brown pillows.

Her spirits sank further and further. She'd be a Princess here. She would wear dresses, have her hair done wear the face paint and learn dances. She'd have to leave her fighting behind her and become a lily-footed princess.

Arra groaned and rolled over on the bed only to be met by an old scarred, wrinkled face. She yelped in surprise.

"And here you were doing so well." Fate said.

"What do you want?" She said turning back to the other side, "I'm doing what you told me, I'm back in Karucia."

Right before her eyes Fate appeared in front of her, "Do you remember all those months ago when I said what your future would have to be compromised to? Well this _isn't _it," Her voice still and cracked as she remembered it, "I'm going to nip this bud right now.

"Getting you all depressed and sad won't do me or anyone else any good," One gnarled hand grabbed her face, "I never said give up who you are. You must follow the road you've chosen, even _you_ cannot walk back the paths, only forward. That is all I have to say to you. For now anyways."

"_Now_ your obscure in your meanings and reasons." Arra grumbled.

"I am being perfectly forward with you." She said crisply before shimmering silver and then she was gone.

_Who I am. I am Shang. It is in my bones and definetly built into my muscles. That is as part of my as anything else._

**x...:...x**

A/N: Let's see. This chapter wasn't very long and it took me weeks to get it out, I know. I'm sorry. I just ran into some writer's block . . . horrible I know. I just took a small break so I wouldn't be trudging through writer's block and the outcome was a chapter worse than it is. I'm not _completely_ happy with this chapter but I'm hoping is wasn't dreadful.

Please, please Review.


	27. More than Meets the Eye

A/N: So . . . uh . . . here's chapter 26. Enjoy.

Oh, yea. This week is study week and next week is exams SO don't expect a whole lotta action between now and then.

Disclaimer: No stealing here. Because this belongs to Tamora Pierce not me and as we all know I would_ never_ steal anything. But! The things you don't recognize DO belong to me. So continue on the favor and don't steal!

**x...:...x**

Arra held the cup, a dainty little thing, carefully sipping the hot tea. Her father, Emereth, had insisted upon having at least one exclusive meal a day, just the two of them. So it had preceded the last four days. They'd become more comfortable around each other for it though. Today she had her Shang medallion with her tucked away in a pouch.

She tried not to ask _too_ many questions but she had picked up little snippets of information such as the twins' thirteenth birthday had passed not too long ago, or that the servants didn't mind caring for her room because Arra made little mess especially compared to Zedar and Zefra. The last bit of information she had picked up purely by accident. When the servants realized Arra had heard they closed up immediately with fright-wide eyes and went about their business. _Why would they be scared?_ She had asked herself only to shrug it away.

The piece of information that most intrigued Arra, however, was when she found out that there had not been a Queen of Karucia since her very own mother, Iolana. Apparently, Emereth had not wanted her to be queen, a sign of respect for his previous wife. Adelle was only a consort or concubine, someone he had _needed_ to marry to produce an heir.

Arra sipped her tea again just as Emereth put his cup down. She could see he might want to say something so she took one last sip before putting hers down too.

"Now, Arra," He looked up as if still wondering if she was alright with being called by that title. Arra nodded for him to continue. "I believe this is the best time to inform you of my plans."

She raised her eyebrows, "Plans?"

Emereth smiled, "Yes, plans." He motioned for a scribe. "You see, a ball will be held in honor of your return--"

"Oh, please no. I don't need one and," She smiled triumphantly thinking she had him. "I have nothing to wear to a ball."

"Which," The scribe had finally arrived to take Emereth's personal notes, "brings me to the next step. I see you don't have many dresses at all. Time for fittings will be made, fittings for your ball dress and with your sizes they can make you others."

For everything he wanted the scribe to write he would motion.

"I like wearing breeches!" She said indignantly.

"Yes, I know, and I won't take that away from you. But these will be for occasions and such." He cleared his throat, "Next, classes. I believe you've told me already about your extensive learning in history, geography, and languages so these classes will be for other subjects such as etiquette and history of our family Gift." He paused for a moment. "That's all for now. Any questions?"

_And so it begins._ Arra thought grimly before bringing out her own surprise. "I don't think there's any way to get out of any of this," She looked up hopefully but he shook his head. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Ask away."

"Did Marina ever tell you where she took me?" Arra noticed his hand clench at the question. Emereth shook his head indicating 'no'. Arra nodded and continued. "I told you I had learned plenty on history, geography, and language but I did not tell you how."

She fumbled with the pouch before pulling out the silver Shang medallion and handed it to him. "Marina took me all the way down to Maren where . . . where she left me to Shang."

"Oh, I see." His eyes were wide and their focus switched between the Shang token and the small girl sitting in front of him almost as if asking, "Her? Shang?"

Arra trudged on, "I completed the training of course. As a Shang I've grown accustom to exercising everyday."

"I see." He said again. Emereth blinked then as if regaining a certain amount of cool he spoke again. "I've seen other Shang and their medallions. They usually have an animal on it. Why does yours not?"

"I am the Nameless Shang." Arra said clearly and without hesitation. There was no going around the truth.

Emereth sputtered and dropped the medallion as if it suddenly burned.

"If you don't believe me I could prove it."

"No, no. That's not necessary. I'm just . . . surprised is all. I also thought the Nameless Shang would be . . . taller."

"Don't believe _all_ the stories you hear." She took back the medallion. "This all brings me to the question I've been meaning to ask you. Could I have access to training grounds of some sort?"

Emereth closed his eyes and murmured wearily. "A princess wanting to fight."

Arra bristled. _He makes is sound like a bad thing!_ This was possibly the only thing Arra would _not_ let go. "I have been Shang for most of my life. You _cannot_ ask me to give it up."

He opened his eyes and sighed. "Of course not. I'll find someone to show you where they are, immediately if you wish."

Arra thanked him before she was dismissed. Emereth had been very agreeable to any whim she held, almost as if he felt if he didn't keep her happy she'd leave again. Arra shook her head walking down the long corridors till she reached the room that had been dubbed her own.

She had explored all of the rooms finding one for a small study, another for a bathing room and then one more for a sitting room. The door to the left of the bed opened out to a balcony, a rather large balcony overlooking a luscious looking garden. She would trade it for a smaller room and easy access to fighting grounds in a moment. _And I think just by looking at my past we can see I'd much rather fight and put my life on the line than be a princess._

Arra walked into the small study and grabbed a random book off the shelf. She sat for a while, flipping through the pages when she heard a knock at the door. Not the door of the study but the main one. _They must have spelled it so you can hear it anywhere in the room._

She stood and put down the book on creatures of the ocean to answer the door. There stood the red-haired man she had not expected to see this soon. "Andy?"

He grinned. "Yes, my lady. Are you ready to go to the practice grounds?"

"Arra," She corrected, "Just Arra."

"Of course." _Is that all people say to me?_

At first silence was the only thing between them which Arra found odd because through the boat ride he always had something to say. But he walked on silently with a slight frown. Suddenly his face seemed to match his eyes. Then he spoke, more seriously than she had ever heard of him. "Don't expect the men to accept you easily, even if you are a Princess, more so even."

Arra raised her brows. "I don't expect anything from anybody. And I'm not one for trying to prove myself at every turn but if they need a demonstration I'll give them one."

He just sighed with a bit more feeling than Arra thought was necessary. _Its not that big a deal._ Or she didn't think so at least. The practice grounds were walking distance away from the castle but were still held off the main grounds. They were put together differently than the ones in Tortall. Housing for trainees took up the entire back wall even went up for at least three stories high. The land in front of it was all devoted to training.

Only one thing disappointed her. In Tortall, women were at least allowed to fight. Even if their armies were not completely taken over by them at least they allowed them. Here there was not one female to be seen but she wouldn't let that scare her, not in the least.

Stress had been building in her back over the last four days. Had it been able to continue for a week she would have grown irritable. Trying to stretch it out didn't help that much.

"What first L—Arra?" Andy said, his smile back.

She sighed longingly. "Does anyone know hand-to-hand?"

"I don't think so."

"Then what do you expect to happen when one of you loses your weapon?" She asked.

"I can't say. But that _is_ why we are trained not to lose hold of our weapon." He said plaintively. Arra just shook her head.

"Swords, then."

"Right this way!" He led her to a large shed upon walking in she found was full of practice weapons. He continued to lead her to a different wall. "The practice swords are kept over here."

Arra thanked him and picked one up. Too heavy. The next one was too light. She tried three more before finding one she liked. Andy had found one he liked two swords ago. "I see you know what your doing."

"Or I just look like it." She smiled.

Once out on the actual practicing fields Arra stretched and went immediately into stance. "Come on, then."

Andy smiled and lunged. She parried the blow and they continued to exchange hits. She found an opening. _Too easy._ She took it and their bout ended quickly with her sword at his throat. She glared at him. Arra dropped the sword and slapped him across the face. "If you ever purposely let me win again I will take advantage of that and beat you down till you are nothing more then a bloody heap."

"Oi, girl! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be sowing or something?" Someone called out from behind her. Arra calmly bent down to get the sword she had dropped.

"Shouldn't _you_ be banging your head against a rock like a great oaf?" She asked turning to face him not knowing who he was beforehand but either way she didn't regret what she said.

"Now, now, that isn't how a prince should speak, Zedar," Andy said entering the conversation. He turned to Arra and chastised lightly, "And a princess should not speak that way, either."

"You have an odd conception of how a princess should and should not speak." Arra retorted. She hadn't noticed before but he reminded her of Damien. She turned to her half-brother, "I assume you _understand_ how a sword works?"

"More than _understand_, I excelled in training." He said coldly.

Arra was about at the end of her nerve for this boy. "Prove it," She said crisply. Zedar nodded and glared at Andy who immediately handed over the practice sword he had. Andy put his hand on Arra's shoulder. He paused as if deciding if what he wanted to say was worth it. He took a glance at Zedar before saying:

"He didn't lie when he said he excelled in his training of the sword."

She smiled. _I believe he's trying to look after me._ She patted his cheek and sent him to stand away. Zedar may have been four years her younger but he was still taller than her. Arra shook out her arms and legs to loosen whatever tension might be there while Zedar stretched. He seemed serious about this while Arra on the other hand was determined to have fun.

Arra got into stance signaling she was ready and waiting for him to begin. Zedar didn't bother to take up a stance he just attacked. It was a straight chopping blow to her right. She blocked it easily. A crowd began to gather to watch.

Zedar hit away one of her shots to his midsection and lunged at her with and upward sweep. Arra turned away dragging her practice sword behind her momentum. She moved too fast for him to land an attack but he managed to stop the blow and immediately returned with one that made Arra's arm tingle. But she would not be one to show she was in pain. She mentally shook it off and continued.

Anyone watching would think it was only a friendly bout between siblings but Arra saw more. With her trained eye she could see he had talent but he was wasting it by fighting with . . . with . . ._ anger_, Arra decided. But why was he angry? She noticed his underhanded way of showing it too. He would twist his blade at certain points and hold his practice sword against hers longer than was necessary. Mistakes that could cause a loss and all because of too strong emotions.

Arra tired of this particular bout. Zedar was beginning to get confident since he had lasted so long. Arra crouched and spun coming up with the butt of the sword she made sure to hit the sword from his hands and missed his fingers. She twisted her body with the sword to come around and press it to his neck against a thick vein. In his surprise he fell back.

Certain members of the crowd snickered and others just spoke in hushed whispers. Arra shook her head at them and held out her hand for the youth; she didn't want her only half-brother to hate her. His green eyes flashed as he glared at the crowd. They immediately fell into silence. He stood up ignoring her outstretched hand. Zedar picked up the sword, "Again."

"Pardon?"

This time he did take up a stance, "Again! Lets go."

Arra pressed her lips together. She didn't mind a rematch but his attitude about it got to her. Stiff with annoyance she crouched down into position. Arra took a deep breath and shook her head briefly to clear her mind. The stiffness left and liquid smoothness took its place.

This time both reacted at the same time. The practice swords clashed and the hilts locked. The blades trembled at the two forces rammed together. Unnatural pain burst at the back of Arra's head. She winced and pushed off of their sword-lock, still guarded.

Zedar curved his sword around then slid it up. Had Arra not moved the point would have torn up through her nostril. Arra tried to slide around but there was a flash of dark blue and pain shot up her spine to the front of her skull. She faltered. Arra grimaced and blocked Zedar's hard shot to her side.

Pain zipped through her body twice more. Each time Arra had gained the upper hand, even a small one, pain met her. Finally Arra caught the dark blue coming off of Zedar's fingers. She growled and immersed her own fingers in crystal blue Gift before grabbing his hand. Arra jerked him forward then bent the hand back.

"That you would use your Gift!" The Shang in her spoke, "That alone is bad enough in a fight but to use it in such a dishonorable way!"

Arra was still fuming when strong hands forcefully pulled her away. She spun to meet the cold face of Feran. He raised one brow at her, "Do you take pleasure in defeating a boy four years your younger?"

"If he's going to fall back on age as an excuse perhaps he should _speak_ as one his age would," She shot him a look, "and not use words too big for his person."

Zedar met her eyes squarely with his own vibrant green ones. He succeeded in showing no pain from the wrist Arra knew would be hurting.

"Take him to a healer." Feran ordered and people scrambled to obey. "And you, princess, do you have permission to be here?"

Andy stepped forward, "Of course she has, King Emereth himself gave her permission. I volunteered to bring her."

Feran's eye twitched slightly but he turned away all the same.

Walking back to put her sword up with Andy, Arra was struck by how odd everything was. Zedar had quieted all of the older men, every last one, with a look. _Perhaps it is because he's a prince._ But what about Andy? From what she could tell, he seemed to be a carefree sort of man. Even _he_ had looked intimidated by the young prince. Andy's seriousness and worry over her confused Arra, not because anyone would care at all but because . . . was there any reason he should worry?

Arra put the practice sword back in its place and searched around the storage room idly. It was like walking through a library filled with weapons instead of books. She picked up an exquisitely made bow and tested it.

"You're still up for more?" Andy asked.

"I'm not tired if that's what you mean." Arra replied, "but I forgot my arm guard so the bow will have to wait at least another day."

Andy nodded. They continued on their way to the palace were almost there when Andy spoke, "Who taught you to fight?"

"The Shang Phoenix."

His deep blue eyes widened. "Are _you_ Shang?"

"D-did my father not tell you?" He shook his head. Arra sighed, "He's probably ashamed."

"Or maybe he's just realized how many important events he's missed in your life. Being Shang is no small thing."

"So I've been told." Arra commented. Silence followed for a while until she took a deep breath and before she knew it she was talking, her vocal cords working of their own volition, "Andy, if I ask you something will you tell me the truth?"

"If you command me to I cannot refuse." He informed.

"I will not. Besides commanding doesn't insure that you will tell the truth, only give me an answer."

He smiled and said, "But just asking me won't insure I'll answer truthfully."

"So then there's no point in commanding it if I'll just get the same answer." She said, "Maybe that's one of any given ruler's folly, they think because they command it, it will be."

Andy's smile broadened, "Ask your question, if you haven't forgotten it by now, and I'll try to answer as best I can."

"That's all I can ask of you," Instantly she grew somber. "There's more going on in this palace than I know of, isn't there."

It wasn't stated as a question, but he understood she wanted an answer. He met her in the somber state in the blink of an eye, "There always is _something_, something that underlays the appearance of beauty and perfection in even a royal family. I'm sorry, I cannot answer any better than that."

Arra nodded. They were only a few steps from her room. She whispered, "Thank you."

Andy bowed, deeper than Arra thought was necessary. Rising from his bow he kissed her hand and murmured, "You would make a wonderful Queen."

Arra wasn't sure if he meant for her to hear him because he walked away as if he had said nothing at all. She stood there for a moment in mild confusion before shaking it off and walking into her room. She walked out of the door to the left of the bed onto the balcony. Cobalt waited there. "I'll never know how you find me."

He cocked his head to one side. She smiled and stroked his blue feathers. _I'll have to ask for a stand for him._ She remembered how she had told Damien not to get her one because she said she would still be traveling. _Lovely how _that_ turned out._

She stared out to the distance thinking of Andy's answer. He hadn't been specific in any way but he _had_ answered her inquiry. There _was_ something going on beneath the surface. Its importance she didn't know but something at the back of her head told her she would know in time.

**x...:...x**

A/N: And there we are. Surprisingly, I don't think I have a whole lot to say today. Odd. Oh well.

PLEASE **_REVIEW_**!


	28. Watch Out

A/N: And to think, this chapter was going to be dreadfully SHORT! And then **BOOM** inspiration hit and I wrote it down. Actually I was having trouble, yet again, putting the storyline down in words.

Disclaimer: Doesn't belong to me. If I knew how to speak other languages I'd tell that to you in those languages too.

**x...:...x**

"Zefra, I assure you it had to be done." Zedar said again.

"I still don't understand why. He didn't do anything to anybody!"

"First of all, you don't have to understand. Second of all, he needs a lesson _badly_. He's gone far too long unchecked." Zefra noticed he rubbed his wrist even after the healing.

"But, Zedar," She pleaded. "I don't think he deserves it! Please, don't."

"Its too late Zefra, I've given the order and I won't take it back." He smiled. "Developing yet another crush?"

"No! But—but. . ." She gave up and her shoulders sagged. Thin fingers lifted her chin up.

"You are too soft, sister. Believe me when I say this needs to be done." Zedar's eyes softened only a bit, the look only for his full sister. "Don't disagree. If you do I will be alone and I need you here."

He was her twin, her other half. It had to either be both of them or neither. She had always believed this but there were times when he scared even her, the one person he would never harm. He had used that line to bring exactly these thoughts up. "Alright, Zedar. I trust you and your decisions."

**xXx**

_The fields were green and endless. It swayed ever so slightly. Looking to the front of her there was only one hill. And . . . and someone was standing in front of it. Arra squinted to try and get a better look at who it was. The person was beckoning to her. Not really knowing why she stood and walked over, and then she was jogging and somehow that grew into a run until she reached the person._

"_Liam? Liam, what are you doing here?" Surprisingly she wasn't out of breath at all._

_Liam only grinned, his black hair falling into his eyes. He put his forefinger over his lips and gave a small, "Shhh."_

_He grabbed her hand and led her up the hill. At the top, the view was breathtaking. It was a field of flowers. The colors were vivid and seemed to glow. Maybe it wasn't the flowers at all that were beautiful but the peacefulness, or maybe even the surreal feeling of it all._

"_Liam, this is beautiful." She whispered. Liam nodded, the smile still on his face._

_But then the smile fell. The smell of smoke reached her nose and she looked away from Liam to see the field of flowers was on fire. Or rather it had been and all that was left was embers and dark burnt dirt and ashes. Then she noticed the previously green field they were standing on was much the same._

"_Liam, what's going on?" Arra ignored the fact that there seemed to be fear in her voice._

_He sighed. "Our time here is running out." He turned and faced her squarely. "Dreams can only last so long."_

_Suddenly he grabbed her shoulders tightly. The place where his hazel eyes should have been turned into nothing but dark fathomless black pits. Arra bit back a scream as scars began to appear all over his face and for a moment she thought his face was melting off until she realized Liam's face was wrinkling._

_At first the voice was still his, "Wake up!" Then it grew raspy,cracked, and familiar. Fate. "Wake up, girl! Wake up!"_

Arra sat up gasping. She threw off the sweat-damp covers. She rested her head in her hands taking deep breaths. It was the overall feeling of the dream that stuck more than anything. Her heartbeat was slow and so hard she could feel it all the way down to her toes.

For a while she just sat there waiting for her body do feel normal again. She stepped out onto her balcony to take in some fresh air. Suddenly a loud yell reached her ears followed by a groan. Arra looked to where the sound came from, to her right, just in time to see two shadows slip around the corner. She looked a second more before realizing something there was still moving! Whatever it was, it was alive.

Quickly, Arra slipped on her boots and ran out the door. When she reached the scene she was surprised and saddened almost to tears at what was there.

"Andy? What happened?" She whispered. His hands and legs were bound. A dark spot of blood stained his lighter red hair. He looked up at her through the non-swollen eye.

"Forgive me, I tried not to wake you." His voice was hoarse with pain.

Arra pulled out a razor thin blade she kept in a hidden slip on the outside of her boot and cut his bindings. "Yes, because me getting an extra hour of sleep is _definitely_ more important than any broken bone, _especially_ yours." Arra said sarcastically. "What a stupid thought."

Andy tried to give a weak smile but ended up just hurting his bruised face.

"Can you walk?"

"I-I--" He sighed. "I don't think so."

He leaned his head against the wall in defeat. His good eye started to droop as if he was tired.

"Don't you dare go to sleep." Arra said. _I need to go for a healer but then who will make sure he doesn't go to sleep?_ A sudden plan popped into her head. Biting her lip she thought about it. It _could_ work but chances that it would weren't very high. _I hope you don't have to be healer for this._ "Do both your legs hurt?"

"I think one's broken." He replied. "But the other one hurts too."

"Which one hurts more?" She asked. He tapped his right leg lightly with one forefinger. Arra nodded and called forward her Gift. "I'm not sure if this will work." She warned.

Arra encased his right leg with her Gift. She tried to picture stints to hold the leg in place. The result was a crystal blue shield pressed against his skin. Arra crouched down beside him on the opposite side, her hope being the shield would protect the other leg from most of the pain so she could support the other side and therefore help both legs against most of the pain.

They took small steps, going slowly. Or, more like, Arra took steps and Andy sort of shuffled his feet forward.

"Does it hurt?" She didn't wait a moment before saying. "Of course it does. What I meant was, how is the shield working?"

Andy made the mistake of trying to smile again. "Ow. It hurts to move it but the general pain is kept at bay."

It seemed to take hours and hours to even get inside the palace again. Arra looked up the steps and groaned. "Whoever thought out this plan of putting the healer's upstairs wasn't very bright. How are injured people expected to climb stairs?" _If I ever get the chance, I'll change this._

"Arra," Andy said weakly. She looked over to him noticing now that he was breathing hard and sweat had already formed in droplets on his forehead. "I'm . . . much too tired to make it up those steps."

Arra thought for a moment, biting her lip. He needed a healer immediately. It might take too long to reach the top of the stairs and might _possibly_ make certain injuries worse. Arra thought about the wound on his head though; even she knew basics of head injuries. He should not be allowed to sleep for a certain amount of time without first seeing a trained healer who knew what they were doing.

Andy began to weigh down on her. "Set me down here and go on ahead," Still she hesitated. "Let it be marked down that you wanted to take my limping, half-dead self all the way up the steps," His head fell tiredly, "Please just . . . go."

His speech was starting to slow. Arra went against her instincts and set him down on the first stair. She patted his cheek and whispered quickly, "You're not half-dead."

Somehow she could tell he wanted to smile but knew the consequences after trying twice already. She tried to leave but he grabbed her hand with a grip she would not have expected. "Arra, watch out for . . ." He faltered a bit. "Z-Zedar. Don't just watch out for him b-but watch_ him._ Come to your own conclusions before something happens, I cannot give all the answers."

Arra's mind screamed for her to fetch a healer. She put his message to the back of her mind for the moment but still easily accessible for later. Andy let go and she raced up the the stairs taking them two and three at a time. _I hope the healer is an early riser!_

When she reached the healer's room no one was there. She cursed and then whipped her head around when a strong female voice asked her something from down the corridor: "Are you looking for the healer?"

"Are you the healer?" Arra demanded, having no patience.

"I am."

"Then come QUICKLY!" Arra roared. Being a healer the woman understood urgency and sprinted down the hall.

Her breath was already fast when she reached Arra, "You don't look hurt to me."

"Your not done running yet," Arra said. She pulled the older, taller woman running as fast as she could.

"I can't run this fast!"

"Then I'll drag you!" She growled. Though the healer's legs were longer Arra knew how to move hers faster. She would have pulled her down the stairs when they reached them but at this the healer pulled away her hand and flew down the stairs deftly.

Andy's state on the stairs suggested he had fallen back from the upright sitting position Arra had left him in. "Andy, I_ told_ you not to fall asleep." Arra whispered.

The healer took an overview of his wounds and whispered a soft "oh my" when she saw the still bleeding head. She reached his leg and tried to touch it. She hissed and pulled away. "Would you take off the barrier?"

Arra pulled her Gift away from Andy's leg praying to any god listening that Andy would be alright. The tall woman, Arra found, was also surprisingly strong. She lifted Andy very carefully from the stairs with a small grunt. "Would you mind making sure his head is supported?"

The back of her eyes stung all the way to the infirmary as she cradled Andy's head. The left side of his head now almost completely dark crimson.

"There we are." The healer said softly placing him on the white bed. She didn't look up but said, "I am Ilandere the healer, I go by Ilan."

"Arra, call me Arra." She said without thinking. Ilandere's head snapped up.

"Princess?"

"Yes." She answered emotionlessly.

Ilan turned back to Andy immediately. Pink fire came to her fingertips as she examined him closer. She took off his shirt. The healer glanced up at her. "You can wait over there."

"Can't I help? In anyway?"

Ilan looked like she wanted to refuse. But Arra guessed she must have seen something, perhaps the fear in her eyes for him, and she put her immediately to work. For the next hour Arra was sent to and fro gathering clean bandages and getting more warm water. Despite the work that was supposed to be keeping Arra busy she could not help but notice that even when Ilan prodded his worst bruises he didn't so much as twitch.

Arra came back one last time with clean rags and stopped dead. Ilan was sitting on the bed across from the one Andy was on.

"What? What is it?"

She sighed and looked to Arra. "I've done all I can. The rest is up to him."

Arra almost dropped the rags. "As in he needs time to rest? H-he'll be fine?"

"Yes and no." The healer replied. Arra was stuck somewhere between wanting to scream and no sound wanting to come out of her throat. "He'll live. It is out of my hands, however, as to when, if at all, he'll come into consciousness."

Arra walked over to stand beside his bed numbly. Ilan had brought down most of his swellings, cleaned up small cuts, and helped heal bruises from dark blue and purple to a healing yellow or brown. She put her hand on his cheek softly and tears sprung to her eyes.

When had he become a friend? Why did she have to care whether he was alright or not? A sudden feeling hit her. She felt stripped of something, some extra layer. It was like a wound open to infection or taking off a jacket against blistering winds. _I don't feel safe._

The tears threatened to spill but she held them back. It did not seem fair that this man should be in this comatose state. Why had it happened? To him of all people? He had been kind. _What am I thinking? I didn't really _know_ him at all. _Arra thought angrily trying to shake herself from the near breaking point in her nerve.

She felt cool hands on her shoulders. Ilan pulled her away slowly, calmly and told her she could come back later. As Arra walked out of the infirmary she could have sworn that she heard Ilan whisper, "This is the part I hate most of Zedar's dealings." And then the door closed.

If she had caught those words right, what had Ilan meant by them? Zedar's dealings?

Arra's mind worked furiously as she walked down the long halls. As she walked on she grew aware of the shadows, of the darkness that loomed over the entire castle like a scent in the air you can only faintly pick up. It sent shivers up her spine.

Not for the first time she asked herself, what exactly was going on here?

_Watch out for Zedar._

That's what Andy had said. _He wouldn't have warned me if it had nothing to do with me right?_ So was her life in danger? Or perhaps the kingdom and he was relying on her?

The thought of a threat against her life reminded her of the time back in Tortall, before her illness, someone had tried to kill her there too. Remembering it triggered the memory:

"_They'll be angry. Gods, they'll be angry." He rambled._

"_Who were you trying to get?"_

"_They never told us you were a Shang."_

_Arra cursed at her nonexistent progress. Liam intervened. "Why did you take our pages?"_

"_Feran, will tell them. You didn't get him. We were only after one person. "_

"Me," Arra whispered, finishing the memory. Feran.

It couldn't be? Could it? The same man? But Feran didn't seem like the kind to take orders from anyone. He was even commander of the army! Perhaps it was him who was at the head of this?

_Watch out for Zedar. Watch _him.

Andy's words pressed more insistently on the inside of her skull.

Arra thought of it from that kind of perspective. _If_ Zedar was at the head of . . . whatever was going on—NO! She stopped herself. That was a far scarier thought. A thirteen year old _boy_ in the lead of this? Surely not! Another shiver ran down her spine. But _if_ it were true . . . how powerful was he? How intelligent was he? Exactly how much influence did he have over Feran, over the army, over . . . over all the inhabitants of the castle?

She noticed her breath quicken as she walked on and not from the exercise of it either. Trying to calm herself she thought, _That is a lot of 'ifs'. I'm working off of nothing! Nothing at all!_ But the thought was unhelpful. Somehow, in her bones, she could feel that she had, in the least, come close to it. It being what she knew had been in the castle from the beginning. Looking back to the first few days she realized she _had_ felt something.

Arra finally reached her room. She opened it and stepped in quickly. She leaned against the door still breathing quickly and feeling only slightly more safe.

She did not like this feeling at all. Not one bit.

She had been born into a world like this but she hadn't grown up in it! This was not what she was used to! Arra was used to fighting. In the fighting world she could be ready for anything. She knew how to be; she had been trained to know. But here, in the world of nobles, dancing and dresses she was unprepared. People were sneaky, they always had schemes within schemes within schemes!

Slowly, she slid to the ground still leaning against the thick wooden door only to jump up suddenly and run to a desk on the opposite side of the room. She pulled out paper and something to write with. She began a letter to the first person who came to her mind, one she _knew_ she could trust.

Liam.

She didn't write a long letter for she had a hard time putting everything she wanted to tell him into words. If she had bothered to read over it she might have noticed it would make almost no sense to him but she hadn't. Instead she grabbed some string and walked out of the door beside her bed to the balcony and whistled. Immediately, a shriek of a falcon answered her.

When Cobalt reached her, Arra tied the note to his leg. He seemed puzzled by it at first but didn't try to take it off. Arra made sure it wouldn't fall off then looked at Cobalt straight in his dark, intelligent, beady eyes. "I need to you take this to Liam. I know its a long way away but . . . please." Cobalt had no qualms and took flight. "Remember to eat!" Arra yelled as an afterthought.

_What am I doing?_ The craziness of what she had done hit her. She sighed. It wasn't too late to call Cobalt back, but she found she didn't really want to.

A bit later, Arra decided to walk down to the stables. She found Ghost's stall and went inside of it. Then she just sat down in one of the corners while Ghost pressed her face against Arra's trying to comfort her. Arra just didn't feel like being inside the palace at the moment. Now more than ever she wished she was off on her own adventure possibly being shot at by bandits or something. It seemed less stressful.

Would life here always be like this? She would just have to be on her guard.

**oOo**

Weeks stacked upon weeks and Arra didn't bother to keep count, though she was vaguely aware a month might have already passed. None of it passed her by comfortably. She stood on end every moment she was on palace grounds and even more so in the presence of Zedar.

Her classes had started and they were not as horrible as Arra thought they would be.

Etiquette was easy only because of her Shang training. The many dances her teachers forced her to practice she memorized easily because she thought of them as the steps of a fighting dance. The bows she could keep steady perfectly because of Shang discipline and steadiness. Balance wasn't an issue. She also learned a few other various things such as what a princess should and should not say.

The classes for the history of her gift were taught by her very own father and tended to be interesting in her opinion. Those classes gave her control of her Gift that Lindhall couldn't have given her even if he had wanted to.

Presently though she stood where she had been for the past hour or so in fittings for a dress. This particular one wasn't for the ball coming soon but for the dress they would use to work off of to make her more. This one was a cream color and, thankfully, they were almost done. They'd finished the over-vest and were working on the under part of it.

Arra sighed for probably the one millionth time until she heard a shriek fill the air. For a moment it meant nothing. Then her breath stopped. Cobalt. He was finally back. Arra gave up her pose and jumped off the pedestal she was on. The dressmakers seemed unhappy about that but Arra gave them a hasty, "Finish it later!" and continued on.

Cobalt perched outside on the balcony. On his leg he carried a message.:

_Meet me at the Green Crown Inn._

_Liam_

Her heart stopped for a second. Then her body moved completely void of thought. She just ran outside, took Ghost and rode away completely forgetting she was wearing a dress.

**x...:...x**

A/N: I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas (or any other holiday you celebrate!). Mine was fun.

Next chapter . . . well I'm sure you can guess, right?

**_REVIEW!_**


	29. Safety

A/N: Awww. I find it cute that so many of you were excited to have Liam back! lol. I was in such a good mood I decided to update! yay. Actually that, and I felt like updating in 2006! HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!

Apparently this story is now in a C2-thingy. I have no idea what a C2 is but . . . oh well. It doesn't seem like a bad thing.

Disclaimer: Actually, the setting now belongs to me (Karucia). But sadly, the world belongs to Tamora Pierce because she created it. Oh well.

**x...:...x**

Arra rode hard and fast and somewhere inside she relished in the feeling of riding like this once again, though the dress did get in the way. She stopped a few times to ask for directions to the Green Crown Inn and eventually she found it. She practically leaped off of Ghost and let stable hands take her.

After a moment's thought she wished she wasn't wearing a dress.

She looked up at a swinging sign in the shape of a crown. Green letters read _Green Crown Inn_. Arra looked down at the door just as someone walked out. The black-haired young man sighed and put his hands on his head. Immediately Arra noticed Liam. At that moment he turned and happened to see a small young woman staring at him wide eyed.

Her legs worked. She ran at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her small frame in return. Arra pressed her face into his neck not realizing before she was crying. Through that though something happened. A warm yet refreshing feeling fell over her. _Safe_, her mind sighed.

"Oh Liam, if this isn't really you I don't know what I'd do!" She sobbed.

"Its alright. I'm here." Liam chuckled, rubbing her back soothingly. "You're more thin than I remember. Have you been eating right?"

Arra was about to say "Of course!" but then thought back. She hadn't really been hungry . . .

"I'll take that as a no."

Suddenly Arra pulled away. "What are you doing here?" She was stern. "You should be back in Tortall--"

"Safely tucked away. I know, I know."

Arra slapped his chest. "Don't make this something funny! You'll bring people looking for you. You are a prince! You can't do something like this!"

He looked at her red rimmed eyes and tear stained face. "Please don't give me a lecture," He whispered and wiped away her tears with each of his hands. "If it makes you feel any better I convinced my mother to let me go, that took a while but . . . well lets not get into that. Whether or not she'll tell my father or keep it hidden I don't know. And I'm pretty sure she didn't know I left without guards."

She smiled tentatively. "I missed you too much, Liam, and it was only about a month."

"A very long month." Liam said before kissing her softly. Arra couldn't help it, he was teasing her! She pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. He smiled against her lips. After a while Liam broke the kiss. For a moment she wondered why and then someone one walked by carrying a basket of bought goods. The person gave them a glance and Liam flushed.

Arra smiled. He was _embarrassed_ to be kissing in public! _Maybe that was something he learned as a Prince, _Arra thought.

Liam held her an arm length away and examined her. "You look very nice in a dress." He mused aloud at that she blushed faintly. For a moment he frowned. "And you need to eat more."

Arra frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. Liam smiled and took her hand. "Come in, I want you to see the person I found along the way here."

"Wha—Why?" She asked. She didn't really feel like meeting some stranger he had picked up along the way to Karucia.

His smile broadened and his hazel eyes sparked with a secret. That alone made her just a bit more curious. Liam led her to a table in the back. A man was sitting there but he was sitting in a chair with his back facing them. Liam coughed.

"Oh, is my chickadee here already?" He stood and dusted off but before he finished Arra was launched at him. Damien laughed. "I missed you too."

"I'll give you two some time." Liam said before walking away. She was about to tell him not to but Damien intervened.

"He's right, let him go. We need to talk. Here take a seat." The Phoenix said.

She did. "What exactly do you want to talk about first?"

He gave her a look she could clearly read. One that said, "I think you know." Arra sighed. She did know. "It was Joel that told me. I wish I had heard it from you, though."

"How could I tell you?" She snapped.

"How about any time during the twelve years I trained you." He said calmly despite her rise in temper.

"Damien, if I had really wanted to tell anyone why would I have run away from it all?" Arra asked. "And I did try to tell you, back in Tortall, before I fell ill. I just didn't know where to begin."

"And then there's the whole I've-known-you-most-of-your-life thing to get by." Damien added.

"Yes, there's that." Arra smiled. Then she went on to a different topic. "D-does Joel hate me?"

He gave her another look. This one said, "You should know him better." Arra winced. And he continued. "He'll never hate you. I don't think he could even if he wanted to. He just feels betrayed, and rejected. He's not dumb, he could see something was between you and this prince," Arra noticed he said 'prince' with no extra feeling. "And you know how inadequate he always feels for all he puts up a show. How can he compare to a prince?"

"He's the Shang Hawk." Arra offered weakly.

Damien didn't need to say anything or give her another one of his 'looks'. She sighed. Damien never really chastised or scolded her. He just gave her a new perspective to things which, in her opinion, didn't feel much better. But it was humbling. She was also glad he said nothing directly about Liam and her. He _had_ to know something was between them especially since Joel had said that.

"One thing I'll never understand is, why would you want to run away from all of this?" She heard the joking in his voice as he pointed to her dress. Arra just shook her head. Once a very, very long time ago when she was still training with him he asked if she wanted a dress. She had fervently refused it. There was her opening to begin telling him everything. And she did.

It went easier telling Damien and Damien alone because he added his own little jokes into the story that made Arra smile. Liam finally returned and nothing was uncomfortable. Apparently, they had gotten to know each other a bit on the way here.

Both of them agreed that she should eat something and ordered food and drinks before Arra could say, "I'm not hungry."

Somehow they managed to get her to eat some of it, but not all of it. They talked for a while more, just chatting about friendly things. They even made small jibes at how Arra was developing a fine Karucian accent. After a some time she realized she'd been gone for a while. "I should be going." She said and sighed, not making a move to leave.

Thinking about going back to the palace made her shiver. Compared to the safety she felt around Damien and Liam going back to the palace felt like going back to a dungeon. Arra tried to clasp her hands together but only ended up wringing them. Both men noticed the nervous gesture.

"Arra," Liam began carefully, "What did you mean in your letter?"

"Something is going on in that palace. I've got nothing to work off of but a hunch and some obscure clues but . . . " She paused. "I don't know maybe I'm just being paranoid. I'm not used to this kind of court life."

Arra bit her lip. She might very well sound crazy if she told them what she had come to suspect. She stood, "Maybe I should leave." Though at the thought of it her insides clenched.

Men on each side of her grabbed each of her hands and pulled her back into her seat. "You can stay a while longer, surely they won't miss you that much. And tell us." Liam said.

"Well _you_ don't know my father." They gave her a questioning look. "He likes to know where I am at nearly every moment of the day. I'm fairly sure he thinks I'll run away again." Then she added. "Which in a way I just have."

She sighed seeing that they wouldn't let her leave without telling them what bothered her so. "It's about the young Prince. He has the Gift." She started.

"I don't understand. Why is that so odd?" Damien asked.

But Liam, who had heard the complete version of her story, caught it. "I thought you said the Gift on your father's side came only to females."

"I did."

"Well then he got it from the mother's side." Damien said.

But Arra shook her head. "No, this gift takes precedence over any other one." Where to go from here? How did she get them to come to the same conclusion she had?

_Well here goes._ "I think Prince Zedar wants me dead." Arra said bluntly.

For a moment they were quiet. Then Damien spoke. "You've had people who wanted you dead before. Why is this different?"

"I've had people who wanted me dead in an outright _fight_. This is different. I'm confined to a castle where he could very well have control of every person in it." She paused and pressed the heel of her hands into her eyes. "And I'm sure it was him who put my friend into a coma."

"Why would he do that?" Liam asked.

Arra shrugged. "As far as I can see the only thing he did wrong was talk to me nicely. But I warn you my own influence and knowledge of the palace doesn't reach too far so I may be wrong."

They were silent again. Frustration roared through her. She had known this would happen. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything. You can't understand what its like in there."

Liam raised his brows.

"Yes Liam even you. You had family _that cared about you_. Father, mother, sister, brother. All I have here is a father I haven't seen for fourteen years, a quiet step-mother, a half-brother who seems to hate me passionately, and a half-sister who I don't know where to place in the scheme of things." She said quickly, angrily.

"Would you like me to go on? " She didn't wait. "You grew up being a prince and I have to learn how to be a princess again. I'm confused and feel like I'm in the dark. And at the moment, I am ill prepared if in fact Zedar wants me dead.

"And I'm not used to wearing dresses. I may be irritable because of that." She added.

Liam and Damien sat in silence after her long outburst, both at a loss at what they should say.

For some reason Arra added one more thing to her list and groaned. "And there's a ball coming soon in my honor."

"A ball you say?" Damien finally spoke. "This is could be good."

Arra looked up questioningly. Was he mad?

"It could give us a reason to see your . . . half-brother for ourselves." Damien explained.

Arra thought about it for a moment. "You'll have to dance." Damien smiled and nodded. She let out a long sigh. "You might be able to get in if I say your my former teacher and I want you there. But you," she pointed to Liam, "I don't know how to get in. And saying your a Prince of Tortall is not an option."

Damien seemed to have an acceptable solution to that. "He could pretend to be my student."

Arra scrunched her nose. "A little old isn't he?"

"I am _not_ old." Liam said much like a child would.

"Not a new student!" Damien laughed, skipping over Liam's statement. "One I've had for years but just hasn't taken the Ordeal yet."

Arra tapped her fingers against the table. "I suppose that would work." She turned to Liam. "Are you up to it?"

Liam smiled and nodded. "Of course."

She winced when he said that. _Too many people say that to me at the palace as it is. _Arra stood. "Now I better go before he sends a search party after me or something." Her hands were still shaking as she dusted off her dress at the thought of having to go back after being with two men she felt completely comfortable with. Arra just nodded to the both of them, she didn't really want to hug them or touch them or she might be tempted to stay. _Being confined doesn't work for me at all._

Liam followed her out. Arra noticed and glanced at Damien but his face was emotionless. They walked out to the stables together. She threw away her resolution from only moments before to not touch either of them. Arra leaned into Liam and he draped his long arm around her.

For possibly the first time in all of Arra's memory the sight of Ghost saddened her more than it made her happy. _It's more what she means at the moment than 'her' exactly._ Arra assured herself. She could never dislike her favorite and most faithful mount.

Before she could pull away from Liam, mount and leave he pulled her into an embrace. He rested his head on top of hers and hugged her so closely she wondered if their bodies had always fit so perfectly together. Then he spoke:

"Arra," He began then paused as if he was thinking of exactly what he wanted to say. "I know it seems like I don't believe you. But I do."

Tears stung her eyes. She knew it would happen. She didn't want to leave this. Arra whispered. "I know, what I just told you doesn't seem well thought out. But . . ." She couldn't finish.

Liam laughed lightly. "It does _seem_ far fetched but you are hardly someone that would get a . . . problem such as this out of nowhere."

_Odd,_ Arra thought dryly,_ how people may not be able to believe my words and yet they somehow feel they can trust **me**_. She nodded into the embrace before pushing away. She kissed him one last time before finally mounting Ghost. "I'll keep in touch with Cobalt, so watch out for him."

Liam nodded and Arra rode away. Every moment she was closer to the palace she thought about the safety she left behind. _This is what I get for leaving for fourteen years,_ She reminded herself, not for the first time,_ and now it is time I did something about what I left here festering._

**oOo**

"Come now Arra, I want to show you something." Emereth said. Arra smiled if only for his sake. She had been on her way to visit Andy as she had done everyday since he fell into the coma when her father intercepted her.

Arra followed him down some halls not really interested. _This was my only free time today to check up on Andy before classes and fittings . . . commence._ But she followed Emereth all the same. The halls he went down were dusty as if no one had been there for years.

"I have never showed this to either Zedar or Zefra." Emereth confided. "But . . . something tells me I should show _you_."

He opened a door to reveal a far more dust filled room. There were artifacts lying around that she probably wouldn't be able to name, they were so layered in dust. Though some looked like books so old she was sure if she opened them none of the words would be legible.

Emereth led her to the back of the seemingly small room with careful steps. When she saw it, she was sure this was what he wanted to show her. It was the one thing in the room that had not dust on it whatsoever, as if it repelled it. What they were looking at was a perfect glass rectangular prism. Inside was a sword, though the most peculiar sword Arra had ever seen. It was milk white through and through from the tip of the blade down to the end of the hilt.

"This sword had been in the family for generations upon generations," He said quietly but not in a whisper. "In fact, it was the sword first used to conquer Karucia all those years ago.

"But the story goes that almost immediately after Karucia was claimed the sword turned against our ancestor, he was known as King Vincent the First. The sword, you see, does not have a mind of its own, well I certainly have not seen it displayed if it does. Anyways, the story goes to say that after Karucia was his he was never able to wield the sword again and neither were any of his children—and yes he even let his daughters try.

"It saddened him that he could not use his once faithful sword any longer but he kept it anyways and encased it in this glass container." he paused. "Though something that has always troubled me about that story is it never really says where the sword was made. Some say the gods themselves carved it out of their own bones for him, but it doesn't look much like bone does it? Not that I know how god-bones look. Other stories say the gods would never make such a powerful monstrosity and in fact they wish to destroy it but I've never seen proof of that either."

Arra hadn't noticed but she was entranced by the tale. She whispered, possibly sounding a bit awed. "Why are you telling me this?"

She could almost feel his shrug. "You are my daughter."

"Zedar and Zefra are your children too, you said you didn't tell them." Arra pointed out.

He sighed. "I must be a horrible father for saying this," He muttered. "They may be my children from blood but I've never felt connected to them like I do to you, and you've been gone for years." He seemed to think about it before adding. "That is why when I had to choose a new wife I chose one so completely different from Iolana that . . . I would not, if at all, fall in love with her too deeply."

Emereth's dark blue eyes looked tired as he trudged on and looked her directly in the eyes, "Arra, I loved your mother more than life itself. If possible I would have given my own life so she wouldn't have had to die. I loved you too, more than I could say and I still do with every fiber of my being." He grabbed her chin and looked at her more closely. "Sometimes, just at the back of my mind you see, I feel like they are a negative where you are a plus. Like . . . like . . ."

Arra knew where he was going and stopped him, "Don't say things you can't take back later. " She warned.

He smiled. "Of course." Emereth moved somewhat back to what they had been talking about. "The reason I showed you this sword was because this will be my last lesson for you before the ball. I know fittings take much too long for their own good."

Arra laughed in agreement. Then she decided to cling to one portion of that conversation and ease into something else. "Father, would it be alright if I invited two people to this ball?"

"Who?" He asked instantly, lightly.

"My Shang teacher and his student."

Emereth looked wary. He always did, it seemed he was uneasy about her past as Shang. _**Past** as Shang?_ Arra questioned herself angrily._ I still am Shang! And always will be!_

After a moment he gave. Had she developed a pleading look only children had for their parents? "Yes, it _is_ a ball for you after all."

Arra thanked him and even gave him a kiss on the cheek which she found made him happier than anything she'd seen. _He probably thinks I'm so happy because I can see them again. But while that may be true . . ._ She tried not to voice or even lay out completely in thought why she wanted them there.

They radiated safety in her eyes, safety she had not felt for a month. And at a ball where her eyes could not always be vigilant she needed some people on her side for she wasn't sure there was anyone else. _If they believe me enough to _be_ vigilant._ She sent Cobalt with a note telling them they could come and the exact date then went on to start her day.

**x...:...x**

A/N: I have conflicting emotions about this chapter. I am unhappy about where it ended (BUT I don't like to make my chapters incredibly long, sorry guys) but I am happy with the chapter itself. I had wanted to end it at a different point but now that I think about it maybe this is better. The other ending I wanted to put was going to be much more . . . suspenseful and definitely a cliff-hanger. So there you are. Wow, I'm very close to chapter 30. The big 3—0. Sweet.

Oh, and about the sword thing . . . What inspired it was combination of a toy my cousin had and a book someone recommended to me in a review. (I'm hoping that person remembers who they are, lol. Though they may not understand how my mind got to where it has. I have weird trains of thoughts.)

_**REVIEW!**_


	30. The Ball

A/N: Oh, this chapter makes me . . . I won't finish the thought I guess.** WARNING: TWO CHAPTERS LEFT AFTER THIS! 32 CHAPTERS IN ALL.**

Disclaimer: . . . DON'T OWN! geez . . .

**x...:...x**

The final outcome of the dress, even Arra had to admit, was rather stunning. Some of it had been her own design, or rather she had suggested things and the tailors thought about it and added it or didn't. The result was a delicate silvery under-dress, the sleeves of which were like bells which opened wider as they reached her hands. She was forced to wear short white gloves that ended at her wrist because the servants said her hands were too rough. _Personally though, I don't care. I worked hard for those callouses! _

The over-vest was a light blue, one they said that should match her eyes, sown through with darker blue for decorations. There was no high neck on the vest and it opened just wide enough to see some of her skin down the front of her chest before the silver under-dress cut across. One of the things Arra had asked for was instead of the leather and clasp to hold the front she asked for them to tie it. At first they didn't understand what she wanted until she explained that they could make small holes in the over-vest and sort of weave through some rope or something.

When she said rope they laughed but like the idea all the same but they used a sash of healthy blue color and make a bow at the bottom to tie it off with the leftovers of the bow hanging down.

Ear piercings she had already had from when she was young and still lived in this very palace. She set up with dangling clear blue ear pieces she didn't care to get a better look of. But from her Shang-in-training days she had a piercing in the cartilage of her right ear that the dressers disapproved of but put to use all the same. They connected a gold ring to it with a silver chain and a gold clip at the end in the shape of a bird to clasp her hair.

Her hair the dressers had done up with pins that had multi-faceted jewels on the end, the same color stone as the ones in her ears. The dressers said it would look nice against her dark hair. The hair itself, in Arra's opinion, looked like someone tried to grab it all and failed. Tendrils of her wavy hair were left out making it look like flowing water.

Next, and Arra hoped this was the very last thing, came the face paint. They painted her lips a deeper pink than they would saying red would look wrong. They placed some slight coloring on her cheek bones, only a little. On her eyes they decided just some silvery dust would do.

_They even made me wear heels!_ Arra couldn't understand the possible use for heels. The dress reached the ground, no one would see them anyways. One could simply wear boots, _comfortable_ boots at that, and be much more at ease. The dressers had tried to explain that they made one taller but Arra could care less. She'd been short all her life, a few inches she could live without.

Arra sighed as she sat in her room all prettied up. _I feel ridiculous._ Arra thought as she looked at her self in the mirror. Could that person really be her? Whatever they had done to her face it made the crystal blue color of her eyes jump out.

Arra sat carefully on a cushioned chair. She had been given orders not to move until an escort came that would lead her to where she would enter the ball. She only listened because she had promised herself that she would try and make this work.

_Maybe I can even make Zedar stop hating me,_ but she knew that was a hopeless thought. A hate so deep you wanted to kill someone did not just disappear. And she was firmly planted in the idea that he was after her life.

She looked down at the bracelet she clutched in her hand. Silver vines twined again and again in an endless pattern with silver leaves protruded slightly here and there. Ruby flowers spotted the bracelet too. She put it on her wrist.

Finally there was a knock at the door. A man stood there, blond haired, blue eyed. "My Princess, I am here to escort you."

_I am NOT your princess!_ She wanted to hiss but she knew she was being childish. _Here goes._

**xXx**

Zefra waited in the ball room with everyone else. She had had her entrance already and now they waited on Semarra. Somewhere inside she knew she envied the older girl. But envy tended to put an ugly look on her face so she held it back.

There were two handsome men she did not know as she had either heard of or knew most of the men who came to balls on a regular basis. But luckily gossip had reached her before she looked too much like an ignorant buffoon. One, the older one, was apparently Semarra's former teacher. For what? She hadn't been told. But the other . . . the story was he was also the other man's student but . . .

Zefra remembered that face. She hardly ever forgot a handsome face, and one such as that she would surely not forget. So where had she seen it?

A memory flickered before her. Zedar showing her a face in the fire. . . Prince Liam's. Zedar only did that if he was in the right mood of course but she was good at telling his moods and knew when to ask.

Zefra squinted, it made her look odd but she was curious enough to risk it. She caught his features just a bit better.

Yes! It had to be him! Zefra would know. Zedar would not notice because he did not care enough. Should she tell him? It could not matter too much that Prince Liam was here should it? Besides, she'd get to dance with him at least once right?Before she could think it all the way through the doors on top of the staircase opened signaling that Princess Semarra would be coming though any moment and it distracted her.

**xXx**

The escort left her but Arra didn't mind. She had grown to somewhat dislike almost everyone in the palace. She was slightly disgusted herself but at the same time felt it the feeling did not come out of nowhere. The whole way here she had kept her hand on his forearm with only the very lightest touch. Let him take it as a shy princess' touch. She knew better.

Arra stood ready where her grand entrance would start. The faint fluttering of nervousness started in her belly before she crushed them. These people meant close to nothing to her, if they saw her trip an fall, so what? Or at least that was the state of mind she tried to take when those doors opened.

"The long lost and finally returned, Princess Semarra of Silver Crest." Arra almost winced at what the announcer said but ended up not doing it. The silence was overwhelming, was there awe? No, surely not.

Going down the stairs with heels wasn't exactly easy but she managed and she even held her head up instead of looking down. She was thankful, not for the first time, of the benefits of being Shang.

When she reached the bottom her father was there to receive her. He smiled and applause filled the air. "Now that wasn't so bad." He said, "You look glorious."

Arra smiled in answer. He led her away to the dance that would begin the night. _A very long night._ As she danced easily with her father Arra caught murmurs of conversations. Some saying that she was probably an impostor wanting to be a princess. But the older ones, the ones who could remember, always brought up how she looked like her mother.

The dance ended and Emereth bowed, Arra curtsied and then their dance was over. If Arra thought that would have been the hardest part of the night she was wrong.

Almost immediately after Emereth's hands left her own she was picked up by another man.

"May I have this dance, Princess?" He had dark hair and pale green eyes. He looked kind enough. "My name is Derrick of Crystalledge."

"That would be nice, Derrick of Crystalledge." She murmured. And the music started immediately. At first it was alright, he smiled and talked easily though after a while she was sure that part was just to distract her. His hand slipped from her hip down further than protocol allowed. She did not know if that was something this one man did or something all the men thought they could pull with her just because she had lived as a commoner. _Perhaps they expect me to bed any number of them._ But she would not stand for it.

Arra stepped away a glare on her face but her voice stood steady as she could make it, "Your dancing is lovely Derrick of Crystalledge but your hands need looking after."

After that Arra lost count of how many men she danced with and how many she stepped away from because their hands or words became unfit for ballroom dancing. Just as a song finally ended she spotted Liam. He had apparently finished dancing with one of the many women there. He spotted her too. They walked towards each other and just as Liam was about to open his mouth to ask her for a dance Damien appeared with a smile.

"I'm sorry, my boy, but you can have the next dance." Damien bowed. Arra had been told tonight she should for no reason turn down an offer to dance, pick and choose or to leave a dance for good reasons was fine, but don't turn down. She glowered at Damien as she curtsied. Tonight she would play the part of good little princess.

One of the more forward women came up to Liam, she saw, and Liam accepted the dance offer.

The music started up again with a new song and the dancing commenced. "Damien, I didn't even know you could dance."

He laughed. "Little chickadee, you don't get this old without learning something here and there." He became more serious and spoke quieter. "Actually, before you had a dance with your lovely prince and your thoughts became all mushy," Arra glared. Damien smiled. "I wanted to talk business with you."

Arra raised her eyebrows. "Business concerning . . .?"

"The young prince." He said even quieter. For a moment Arra thought he meant Liam before realizing he meant Zedar. "I've seen him Arra, and I believe you. There's just something about him that . . ."

"You don't trust." Arra finished. Damien nodded somberly. "I always knew you were a good judge of character Damien."

Near the end of her dancing session Damien he said, "By the way, you look more lovely than any of the women in here," He came close and whispered the next part in her ear, "even your sister."

At the mention of her half-sister the song ended. Damien left a wink with her as he walked away. Liam found her and bowed low but before he could ask another young man asked first.

"M-my princess, would you share this dance with me?" He was a poor scrawny thing and his face was red with embarrassment. Arra smiled, he'd come up with enough courage to aske her the least she could do was dance with him. She gave Liam a look hoping he would catch the message. Liam pressed his lips together almost as if he expected it.

The dance with the embarrassed man went by slowly. He was quiet and jittery. Arra knew the only reason she was dancing with him now was because she had felt sorry for him.

At the end of that dance Arra made a point to find Liam instead. Finally it was their turn to tip-toe around each other. Arra smiled at the mental picture of that thought.

He clasped her hand and put his other one on her hip and they began. "You know you shouldn't wear face-paint."

"And exactly why not?" Arra asked, surprisingly in too much of a good mood to snap.

His hazel eyes glinted. "Well, mainly because it may be trouble as I am now dancing with you." His fingers drummed against her body suggestively. Arra laughed. There was certainly no one in this room but him she would accept _that_ from.

"Is that so?" She was still laughing lightly.

Liam nodded as if he were surprised she didn't already know. "Oh, yes. And did you know that nearly all the men in this room are looking almost directly at you?"

Did it just come as a natural talent, for him to be able to make her laugh? "It is, after all, a ball in my honor."

Arra knew she was smiling like a fool. _I can't tell if he's playing a part or trying to make me laugh._ But she was laughing and Liam grinned. "You know," She whispered, "I have never danced with you before."

He leaned in close and answered her whisper with one of his own, "You know, I believe you haven't."

Liam's grin was just as silly-looking as she thought her smile probably was. She had never really been fond of grinning. _Someone looking at us could very well think we are two young people in love._ Arra's mind froze at that thought and her body almost did as well. In love? She shook her head to clear it.

Servants with drinks on top of silver platters filed into the room immediately after the music stopped. The music didn't seem like it would start up again quite so quickly as it did, dance after dance. The servants made it seem like a requirement that they take one of the glasses.

"Why is everything here silver?" Liam muttered **eying** the platters.

Arra smiled but whispered quickly, "Because Karucia is known for its silver mines, now shush."

Emereth stood and instantly every eye drew to him. He smiled easily. "An announcement, I feel, must be made." He said clearly. "Karucia is known for the rulers having the authority to choose which heir or heiress they feel will best lead their Kingdom. Usually in the past is has been given to the eldest but there have been instances when the eldest was not always the wisest choice." He paused and smiled. Perhaps to build tension but it was hard to tell, "It has come to my attention that I have never completely stated who the throne would be passed down to after me.

"I thought about it long and hard and decided that tonight, where so many of you were here already, would be a good night." He paused again. "When I step down from the throne of Karucia, Princess Semarra will take it up for me. Let us drink a toast in her honor and health."

Arra stood shocked almost to a point where she could feel the glass slipping from her fingers. Even as everyone took a sip of their drink Arra could only stare across the room where she knew she met the gaze of her father. He smiled, tilted his glass to her and drank. She didn't even catch Liam's reaction.

So shocked was she that she did not see one green-eyed prince storm, however quietly, from the room. Though one Shang noticed his suspicious nature and followed for his former student's sake.

**oOo**

Arra danced a few more times before Liam made her stop to eat something, anything. _Where's Damien?_ She wondered idly. Being the Princess of this particular ball and now the heiress of the Kingdom she somehow felt it was her duty to stay to at least close to the end of it all. Though she wasn't sure these court folk ever stopped.

But finally, much much later than Arra liked, carriages arrived, the people slowly trickled away until only servants were left to clean everything. Arra sat tiredly in a well-used but elegant chair.

Emereth had left a small while ago after she assured him she would make it up to her room on her own just fine. He had eyed Liam suspiciously before leaving. Arra yawned. Liam patted her back, "Yes, balls tend to be like that."

She smiled up at him before it turned into a frown. "Do you know where Damien went to? I haven't seen him since I danced with him."

Liam shook his head. "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen him either."

A pain exploded in Arra's skull, a excruciating pain she recognized. _Zedar, _She somehow managed to crunch out even in her thoughts. She could barely hear Liam's questions as to what was happening.

A cold voice reverberated in her skull, _"Gift calls to Gift. I am calling you now."_

This was nothing like the sensible part of her mind that spoke to her, this was Zedar's voice booming with power but it still felt like it was from a distance away. Her body moved, pulling itself from the chair taking slow deliberate steps to wherever she was meant to go. Liam followed though she could not hear his voice because of the mental pain in her mind as well as the physical pain in her head.

Somewhere between the blinding pain and gasps she has stripped off her over-vest and had shaken off the heels to go faster. She reached a large and surprisingly empty room. Zedar stood at its center, his dark blue Gift blazing around him. His eyes were wide and disgustingly crazed as he turned to meet her. Zefra stood quite a distance behind him as if she was afraid there was a chance he would lash out at her.

"Don't be so weak." He spat out in Arra's direction; her hand still clutched her head.

"Gods help us." Liam murmured somewhere behind her. She did not want to but she spared a glance at him only to have to follow his line of vision somewhere else. Leaning against a wall was the form of a muscular man. His very light brown eyes half lidded. Blood seeped from his mouth, nose and ears. Tears blurred her vision and sobs choked her.

Damien had been killed.

"He shouldn't have followed me." Zedar said plainly, coldly. "He was fairly easy to kill. Just a good assertion of my Gift—I was not stupid enough to believe I could kill him with a weapon and my skills to rely on."

Arra couldn't handle the emotions fighting, raging inside of her. She wanted to run to Damien's side and sob and beg him to not be dead, she wanted to hug Liam and tell him not to let her go, to never let her go. But the feeling that pulled most strong inside of her was the one to rip this, this--_boy_ was not the right word--this _mistake_ from very existence.

Arra turned just in time to see that Liam was bound in a very dark blue Gift just before another wave of sharp pain stabbed through her system.

"Now," Zedar said, "We can't have you die an idiot so we'll need to start your education soon."

**x...:...x**

A/N: Feedback is appreciated. (I personally loved the character of Damien. He's a fun lovin' kind of guy.)

Be sure you **_REVIEW!_**


	31. It is Done

A/N: All I can say is read on.

Disclaimer: Don't own.

**x...:...x**

Arra wanted very much to scream out in pain but found herself unable to. She had not known there was a point where pain became so unbearable one could not even scream. But she knew it now and it was not at all kind. Pain hardly ever was.

Zedar kept her under the strong hold of pain for a while more, letting tendrils, threads of it leak down her back and shoulders. Zedar pulled back, she was still in pain but it was the way a cut hurt two days after received and it was more bearable. Arra took a glance at Liam. She had never seen him cry before. His eyes were not red, nor was his nose or cheeks; it was only a few tears. He made no sound but she couldn't be sure if that was because he couldn't or because Zedar's dark blue magic bound him completely.

And she herself was incapable of speaking simply because at the moment rage made that impossible.

And she could not understand why he would be crying either. Was Zedar's Gift hurting him? But his hazel eyes were locked on _her_.

"Where to begin?" Zedar's voice snapped her from her thoughts. No, snapped wasn't the right word, it _pulled_ her from her thoughts. Arra at least tried to stand. She was shaky and tired but she tried. Zedar pressed down hard again with his Gift. "We'll have none of that."

He was still a distance away but he crouched down as if the reach the same level as her for only a moment. "You should have died long ago. " He hissed. "I don't know how you did it but suddenly there was a barrier and I could no longer reach you."

For one disoriented moment Arra hadn't the least idea what he spoke of. Then it hit her. _The illness. It was him. But how did he . . .? Numair put a barrier against his magic._

His green eyes glinted dangerously. "Gift calls to Gift, sister. It was only a matter of time before I could overcome that shield."

Had he heard her thoughts? She didn't care. She was too tired to care. Something in the back of her mind fought wildly still. It was the constantly sane part of her. She was letting go too easily! Was he taking away her Gift and life force even then like he had been with the fake illness?

Languidly, her eyes passed over the room again though she deliberately skipped over Damien's body. There was nothing she could use here. Nothing. She had never felt so powerless before. Fighting skills would do nothing for her here, Damien's death proved that. Again her eyes stung with obvious tears. But even with her mind in such a chaotic state she knew now was not the time to cry.

"Why?" She croaked. Her vocal cords finally worked if not that well. "Why me? Why would you want me dead?"

The grin he gave was feral. "You _are_ a very straightforward one aren't you? I suppose its too late to try and break you of that."

"Answer me!" She demanded, something inside of her flared. Zedar winced momentarily before regaining composure and glaring. He didn't move a finger but the pressure of his Gift pressed on her again.

"All I wanted was Karucia." He said. "And I knew, I _knew_, you would be trouble. _I could feel it._" Zedar stopped and shoved pain through her body like a spear. When he spoke again his voice was deadly quiet. "And you ruined that. At first I thought maybe you would do something like that on purpose, but now I think it is just part your _existence._ Killing you would be best, I think."

Arra heard harsh laughter only to find it coming from her. "You aren't possibly saying _I'm_ the mistake?"

"Oh, you are a quick one." He said with one of his cruel smiles. "That is exactly what I'm saying."

She laughed in the same harsh manner she'd never known herself to spew before. "_ME? _The mistake? Oh, no. I have made mistakes, and I've made a lot of them. Because of one of my mistakes you were even born. If anything it was you who should have never--"

But before she could finish a pain unlike the others filled her skull, expanding and expanding. It grew until the sharp pain seemed to want to tear through bone and muscle and flesh. She was almost convinced that if she tore through her forehead with her bare hands it would feel better. Finally the pain melted away but Arra was still left gasping. She reached up to her forehead with shaky hands half-expecting it to come back soaked with blood. But her hand was as clean as before.

"You have no right." He said slowly, his voice took up a steel edge.

_And you have the right to talk about me?_ Arra thought but said nothing. While her tolerance for pain was unusually high compared to other people, it didn't mean she liked it.

Zedar blinked for a moment, Arra could still see the crazed look in his eyes. It was something he could probably not throw off at this point. Maybe he had always been crazy. He cleared his throat. "About time we resumed your education of certain . . . matters."

He had stood up in his moment of anger but now her returned to the crouching position. "Now that ruling by inheriting Karucia is out of the question I'll have to find other means."

Arra pondered on that for a while. All he had to do was kill her and he was still in line to rule. Not that she much liked the idea of being killed but why didn't he just do that and be done? Why didn't he just kill her silently, make it look like an accident and go on? That more than anything told Arra of his loss of sanity.

Suddenly, he spit on the ground. "That father of ours, I must tell you, is one of the stupidest men I have ever met."

Arra felt possessiveness and anger grow inside of her. How _dare_ he?

"But it doesn't matter. He'll no longer be sharing his stupidity with the world." Arra's head snapped up and she met his sharp green eyes. "Yes, you know what that implies don't you?

"He's lying somewhere in a lonely corridor in a rather deep pool of his own blood."

Arra took a sharp intake of breath to hold back the tears. No, no, no it couldn't be true. He was lying. No, no, no, no . . .

He laughed loudly and to Arra, disgustingly. "Feran himself took care of it. I caught word sometime before you came stumbling in here that the deed was done."

Arra started lowly, but she was sure he heard her. "You are disgusting. What possible purpose could all of this have? Where does it get you?"

Zedar didn't even bother to put her through another round of pain, not yet anyways. "That's exactly right. It gets me nowhere, doesn't it? Father had ruined Karucia for me anyways, so in return I decided I'll ruin Karucia. I'll tear it apart. All of Karucia will be in shambles when I'm done with it. Every man, woman and even child will be either dead or wishing they were.

"And, dear sister mine, I'll make sure they know it all happened because of you. I'm sure you won't care, you'll be dead by then after all. But it will be nice to know that so many feel the same way I do. That it was one of the worst mistakes to ever occur in Karucia that you were brought into existence at all."

Did his words even make sense? _Of course not! He's mad!_ She was writhing in pain just a moment later until it stopped suddenly. It seemed Liam had tried to make a stand against all of this but Zedar put more bindings on him that made him, if possible, more immobile. But he was still conscious and, in a way, he was forced to watch.

Her rage had withered and started to crumple under her sadness and despair but it came roaring back to life. He killed Damien! Her teacher for many years with whom she shared a bond. He killed her father! The father that had loved her. Arra looked down at her wrist, the bracelet was still there. Quietly as she could, she took it off and clutched it. It strengthened her.

Arra was too busy in her own thoughts to notice that Zedar had come a bit closer so she could hear his scathing whisper, "I will tear away everyone you love and then after that, I'll be kind. I'll send you to the Dark Realm along with them. Perhaps, next should come this man behind you, what was his name again?"

But then a voice that had been previously silent spoke out, "No, Zedar! Not him!"

"Zefra, please do tell me _why_," His voice was overly calm but still dangerous. He was angry that she had interfered.

"That is Prince Liam of Tortall." She said urgently, pleading. _How had she known? How?_ Arra questioned silently.

He smiled down at Arra which made her shiver. "Oh, you have princely taste, I see." He stood and called the Gift that held Liam bound. Liam slid across the ground to him. He glared up at Zedar.

"Then what a death this will be!" He said excitedly. His eyes glittered madly. "A war with Tortall could help my plans for Karucia."

Arra noticed Zefra gasp. Then she spoke, "Zedar, you _promised_."

Arra was thoroughly confused by now. Maybe, just maybe, if Zedar was distracted by his sister she could . . . But his power slammed her down again. She hissed in pain.

"Zefra, plans change. Surely you can tell he could never be good for you. Never. He is weak." Zedar grabbed Liam's chin and brought his own face very close to his while Liam could only watch helplessly. _He . . .he isn't . . ._Arra began the thought. But then Zedar moved again crashing his lips down on Liam's. She could see Liam trying to struggle away but knew it would be impossible.

"Leave him be you disgusting creature!" Arra yelled on the verge of screaming. She noticed someone was sobbing. Arra searched out the sound and found it came from Zefra. She was kneeling on the ground her head in her hands sobbing and saying something that had to do with promises.

Zedar pulled away and let Liam drop at Arra's words. "Too bad he has to die. And you, I suppose there is no more delaying your death, let's get this done then."

This time she felt Zedar collecting his power for another blow and Arra, thinking with as close as she could get to a clear head, rounded up her Gift too. Zedar didn't seem to notice. Just as he released what should have been his final blow Arra released her Gift in a way that reminded her of the incident at Cragwey. _No, this is different. I have more control over this._ Yes, she had more control but she wasn't entirely sure it was complete.

Zedar growled as each of their powers met and repelled. Arra quickly shook her head as she involuntarily took a step forward. It was both repelling _and_ attracting. _What is going on?_ But it was too late to pull back now.

"Now we get some fight from you! I would have been very disappointed had you died without one." Zedar said, still in that madly excited way. His power rose and rose as he pulled forth more of his Gift. "Let's make this fun then!"

Arra didn't know if he did it on purpose or not, but as he pulled more of his power together it seeped away from Liam's bonds. He shuffled away from Zedar towards the opposite wall. She wouldn't bring attention to it.

For the first time in her life Arra made made the decision to do what she had always felt was a dangerous thing to do. She plunged into her crystal blue Gift. She plunged to the depths of it and didn't stop until she reached the bottom. Arra gathered it all, she would need it. She called it all out, a few times she feared it would get away from her but she clutched it tighter and reined it in until it obeyed for the most part.

Liam hissed as the magic came out. It was raw magic, Arra knew, and that's what made it most dangerous. "Liam," She found she had to shout. "Get out now!"

"No!" He shouted back.

Arra growled. When had he become so stubborn? She would have pushed harder for him to go but the magic was becoming unbearable. Edges of both dark and light blue Gift were burning away at each other. Arra had never heard of something like this. Zedar pushed his power against hers and Arra pushed back with everything she could muster.

It would be a battle of will. Zefra and Liam would probably not be able to intervene even if they wanted to. Could she do it? Could she really overpower Zedar? He may be four years younger than her but he'd been trained to use his Gift for all of his life while she had not.

Crystal blue fire wrapped around her comfortingly in accordance to her subconscious. It would protect her.

The pressure in the room from both Gifts filled the room.

Arra took another step forward and gave her magic a shove. She added more power and rammed it again against his defenses. Zedar's eyes widened and Arra had a feeling it didn't have anything to do with her attack.

In the midpoint between them, where their Gift's met a white-hot light shone. She then noticed the stance he took. He was leaning away, his heels digging into the ground. Arra looked at her hands, crystal blue fire was sinking back into her skin and as it did it pulled Zedar closer.

Now there was fear on his face. "No," He whispered. "NO!"

Thick vines of her Gift moved without her orders they lashed out growing as if they were real plants. Some wrapped themselves around Zedar and pulled him and all of his own Gift towards her. The vines twisted and grew longer, thicker. They snapped and slashed at anything. One hit Zefra across the face leaving a nauseous looking burn.

And all the while Zedar came closer and closer. _Where is his Gift going?_ Arra didn't want to think about it.

Arra almost lost control completely when one of the vines reached out and slammed Liam against the wall. He slid down leaving a blood trail on the wall that Arra couldn't handle along with everything else. She yelled her fury and despair and yet Liam sagged against the wall unmoving.

But her Gift fed upon her raging emotions and grew.

Zedar's green eyes were wide now, he was almost within reach of Arra.

"Stop!" He shrieked. "Stop now!"

"I'm not sure I could if I wanted to." Arra said coldly and would later swear she sounded nothing like herself.

The flames fell around her, through her and out. They even fell from her eyes, or were those hot tears?

Zedar was still sliding steadily towards her. Her Gift grew and grew feeding off of her emotions. It was free. It was finally free and it would give Arra what she needed. And while hers grew, Zedar's shrunk into nothingness.

"NO, NO!" He repeated over and over. "NO!"

Finally, he was within her reach. Something told her to reach out. Just reach out and touch him.

Slowly she lifted her hand, her fingers were trembling. Still very slow she brought her hand closer and closer to him.

"Don't!" His craze-wide eyes looked at the oncoming hand in terror. "Don't do it!"

He could feel something would happen if she touched him now. Arra could too. Her skin finally met his as she pressed her hand to his cheek. Arra screamed, louder than she could ever remember even wanting to scream. Power flew away from Zedar through the connection of her arm and to Arra's horror it came straight to her . . .and stayed.

His power, his Gift, his life force dwindled. His eyes started to close and Arra knew if they closed completely they would not open but she _could not_ pull her hand away.

_No! I don't want to kill him! I don't!_ But the power came still from him. It came and came and didn't stop. Zedar looked like he wanted to sag and fall to the ground but the only thing that kept him up was Arra's hand on his cheek.

The flow of his power slowed and finally stopped altogether. Zedar exhaled one last time and fell to the ground leaving Arra's hand free.

"What did you do?" Zefra whispered. She tried to run to her brother's side.

"Don't--" Arra tried to warn her. Her Gift was still flailing around her. It speared through the young princess. She shrieked and tried to claw at the thick vine but only ended up charring her hands.

"Stop!" Arra commanded her Gift. It pulled out of Zefra but it was too late she fell just as her brother had. Arra shook her head in horror. She tried to call back her Gift but it didn't want to. "Come back. It is done."

The Gift quivered under her command and finally listened. It sunk back into her body. And she finally collapsed but remained conscious. She was sprawled on the ground unable to move because of the weariness that was bone-deep.

Her Gift ran unrestrained under her skin, she could feel every move it made. It pounded in her skull. But still she could not move. Arra pressed her will to it and it calmed but not by much, she didn't have the energy at the moment, her Gift had grown and she had barely been able to control what it had been before.

But when it calmed it stopped feeding from her emotions and gave them back. Now, she remembered Damien, and Emereth. She remembered that they had died because of Zedar. _And I did away with him._

And she remembered Liam. But that had been her own doing. Her own Gift who had harmed him.

She remembered it all and sobbed in her immobile state on the floor for there was nothing else she could do.

**x...:...x**

A/N: Its not over quite yet though very close. If you want the next chapter out soon I may be more inclined if you . . .

**_REVIEW_**!


	32. What Will Be

A/N: Here you go guys. The last chapter of Story of the Nameless Shang. Read, read, read!

Disclaimer: Alas, even as this draws to an end the world belongs to Tamora Pierce still.

**x...:...x**

Arra stared at the ceiling from her bed.

She didn't know when or which servants were the first to find her. Or if they were servants at all, they might have been healers. She did not know. But they had found her and everyone else and from then she could not remember.

But here she was now, safe in her bed.

Arra groaned and flipped her feet over the side of the bed. The whole ordeal had been a two weeks ago and since then the surreal feeling had only grown.

Arra herself had slept for a day and a half before she woke and would rest no longer.

Besides her Kingdom needed her.

Arra had been surprised at first to find that nobody in the palace thought she had killed Zedar to eliminate any threat to her position as heiress; they had said, more or less that they had already known of Zedar's evil. In fact, they were happy he was gone. Arra did not know exactly what to think of that. They had known but had done nothing?

Arra changed into her most comfortable, newly made, black clothes and put on her favorite pair of boots.

She still couldn't believe what had happened. After she had awaken, she had cried and cried for hours still. She had lost too much in that one night.

She had ordered Damien be buried like a hero and it was done. The burial was on sacred ground, or at least it was sacred to Karucians.

Emereth, of course, was buried as a King and would have gotten no less. They had found his body exactly like Zedar had coldly explained it.

Not many people had remembered Adelle in the confusion. She had been pushed to the side. Arra had confronted her and asked what she would like. Adelle, Arra could tell, was a broken woman. The paleness from before turned more sickly and she cried a lot. The only thing she asked for from Arra was to return back to her fief where her brother still lived with his family. Arra granted it.

Arra walked down the long hall and down the stairs to the infirmary. She had formerly ordered the infirmary moved from upstairs to downstairs and was thinking of making another one on the other side of the castle. She visited him everyday in hope he would wake up and every day she was saddened more. But that was how she started her day.

Arra heard a sliding sound and a light thump come up behind her.

"Still not awake?"

She shook her head. That had been the one light point in her days, that Andy had come from his comatose. He walked with a cane, and would for a weeks still, but he was mostly fine.

"Come on then, walk with me." Andy urged her gently.

Arra stood and touched Liam's face tenderly before nodding to Andy and following him. They walked for a long moment in silence but Arra didn't mind.

"He'll be alright you know." He said suddenly.

"I know." Arra whispered. "But its not that, I'm going to have to tell his family in Tortall. I wanted him to be awake before then, so I could talk to him."

He turned a smile in her direction. "I always knew you would make a good Queen. You still know your duties." He paused. "I hear a lot has happened while I slept."

Arra nodded her head. While he'd been awake for a week or more, they had not touched upon this. "Yes." She said quietly.

Andy knew better than to prod at this particular wound. Of course he knew the twins were gone but as of yet, as was his King, the only one who knew exactly what happened, the full and complete story, was Arra herself.

Arra decided to speak and ask a question that had bothered her to no end. "Why . . . why didn't you tell me it was Zedar all along? We could have been spared—_I_ could have been spared a lot of pain."

He sighed. "I didn't know that things would turn out this way. I didn't know you would lose so much. But if you could not think on your own, you would make a pitiful Queen. I had to be sure. If you didn't come to the right conclusions, then our future would have been doomed. Doomed if you failed."

"Why would you take that risk?"

"The way I saw it, Zedar would have destroyed Karucia anyways what had we to lose?" Andy explained.

Arra sighed not really in the mood to become angry. "You think in an odd way." She said. "I've been meaning to ask you something though. We are currently without a Commander for the army. The space does need to be filled."

"And you want me." Andy seemed slightly surprised.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I trust you." Arra said simply. "More than the rest of them at this point. You were the only one who stood against Zedar, even if it was in a subtle way, where no one else dared. That proves something to me."

Andy thought for a moment. "I'll do it."

Arra smiled thankfully at him. Feran had not been seen since that night but she already had search troops out for him. Duties had been given to her that she hadn't been ready for but she was dealing with them. She'd have to since she was about to become Queen.

**oOo**

Arra sat in the garden that her balcony overlooked. It was peaceful here, maybe she could learn to tend it. She would have to ask someone to teach her, she had never known much about plant lore. Arra heard the same combinations of slide and then a soft thump coming up from her side but did not turn.

"The servants told me where you were." Andy explained and took a seat on the stone bench that was at her back as she herself sat on the ground. "I would sit next to you, as is required, but I'm not sure I'd be able to get back up."

"Why would you need to sit next to me?" Arra asked.

"Because, you are Crown Princess now and no one can sit higher than your level." Arra gave him a look that meant wouldn't that be hard because of her height? Andy laughed. "Same _level_ or lower. Not height. It has nothing to do with height."

Arra swatted her hand as if she wanted to throw away that idea, finding it stupid. They sat in silence but Arra knew Andy was getting ready to say something. He always took his time if he was going to say something important as opposed to if he were trying to make you smile.

"You love him don't you?" His voice finally sounded.

Arra had not expected him to say that. She blinked, once, twice. "You worry about having to sit at the same level as me but you don't care if you ask personal questions or not."

Andy shrugged and flashed a grin. Arra just shook her head. He certainly was odd.

**oOo**

Arra hadn't thought she would miss seeing him that much. But Joel came and she realized she had, in the way a friend misses another friend who has been angry at them for too long. He had come, he said, to visit Damien's grave.

"So, its true then." Joel said as he looked upon Damien's grave. "He's really gone."

Arra nodded solemnly she had told him somewhat about what had happened and he'd accepted it and accepted he was a hero. She waited a few moments before finally spitting out her question: "Joel would you like to stay here? In Karucia? I could set up a position for you."

But he shook his head. "Arra, I'm just not ready. Not yet." His eyes were bright. "I think I always knew you never loved me the way I did you. But I held on to hope. I can't stay here, I might hurt someone. Whoever you choose to love that is. I'll visit from time to time but I can't stay, it hurts too much."

Arra nodded again, this time in understanding. She had wanted him there because he was the only person left from her past and she needed someone here. She had hoped he would stay but she would never force him to do something. Never. _I can not keep him tied to my side forever, that would be unfair for the both of us._

**oOo**

Arra walked, somewhat aimlessly, down the hall. She felt a pull, not anything physical but from her own curiosity. So she walked on if only to rid her mind for only a moment of the impending duties falling to her.

She knew where she was going. To see the sword that had once belonged to King Vincent the First.

Arra sat in front of the glass encased sword on a conveniently placed stack of books. _This was the last place I spent with my father alone._ Arra thought after a moment of mindless stare.

Then a jolt ran up her back and she realized what it was she felt. She had the sudden urge to touch the milk-white blade.

She reached up and when her fingers came close to the glass a sound Arra couldn't really describe as a voice, spoke. It seemed more a combination of thick sounds that somehow she came to understand.

"_Not the one. Close . . ."_

Arra stepped back from the glass, that sudden urge quelled. She couldn't make heads or tails of the situation and was most confused by the voice, if it could be called that. Close? Close to what?

**oOo**

That morning Arra had visited Damien's grave alone. She'd cried and wished he were not gone. But he was, and she couldn't change it. In Karucia, bodies were burned to set the soul free and then the ashes were buried in remembrance. Arra thought it had been fitting for him since he had been the Shang Phoenix. He still felt lost to her though.

_Two, _she reminded herself. _One who raised me, and the other who wished he had. Both parental figures and I lost them both._

To rid herself of excess feeling she went to the practice grounds. The men were nicer, but she didn't trust them. They could very well be trying to suck up to the next powerful thing that waltzed through Karucia. She would decide for herself when she trusted them or not, but until then she stayed on guard.

Arra was in them middle of practice with a bow when the messenger came.

"Princess," He gasped for air. "H-He is waking up."

Arra knew there was only one 'he' they would be bothering her about and she left for the palace at a dead run. Was he really waking up? Or was it just another twitch here and a fluttering eyelash there?

The room was crowded with healers when she reached it.

"OUT! NOW!" Arra roared over the multitude of voices. They stopped and immediately left in a neat line all except for Ilandere.

"I sent the message." Ilan said. "I think this might be it, Princess."

"Arra." She corrected absently. She went to stand by his side. Arra touched his hand lightly hoping, praying, he would open his eyes and they would stay open.

Liam's fingers twitched against hers. His eyes fluttered slightly. _Please,_ Arra begged tears already forming at the thought that this might not really be it. It could just be like the other times. But Liam's eyes continued to flutter and finally they opened to reveal hazel eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes Arra had missed looking at.

Liam stared into nothingness for a while, then he turned his head slightly, ever so slightly, until Arra came into view. His hand twitched again and he grabbed her hand. The threatening tears spilled over.

"What's the matter, beautiful? Don't cry." Liam whispered. And at the sound of his voice Arra couldn't help but cry harder.

Ilan gave him a small check up to make sure he was alright, passing her hand in front of his eyes to make sure he could follow them and then checking with her Gift that the back of his head was doing fine. And then Ilan somehow left the room too quietly for Arra to notice.

Liam was staring into nothingness again when he spoke, "So it wasn't a dream was it?"

Arra knelt by his bed and pressed his hand to her cheek. She shook her head. Liam looked at her and then tried to move over on the bed. "Come next to me. You look tired."

Did she really? The gods knew she got sleep even if they were littered with nightmares. But she slept.

Arra crawled in next to him and clung to him. He was awake, he was talking. Someone was not gone from that horrible night.

"Arra," Liam's voice broke her thoughts. "Say something, anything."

She thought for a moment then said, "I'm sorry," The tears came harder, "I'm so sorry."

Suddenly she stood and backed away from the bed. She bowed, "I'm sorry, Liam." And then ran out of the room. Why, exactly, she was running escaped her. But she ran and ran. _Because that's what I'm good at_, she thought bitterly_, running._ Arra's legs stopped moving. _I can't tell him now. I can't. I have to inform Tortall and he has to go home. I can't give him a reason to stay._

Arra shook her head. She would give him time to rest, time for her to get her emotions and thoughts more under control, and then she'd visit him again.

It was two days later when she decided she had to see him again. This time he was sitting up in a comfortable chair away from the infirmary beds. When she approached him he seemed to be deep in thought but he spared her one glance before returning to that state.

So he would be like that. She couldn't blame him. She had run away and not said a word to him for two days after her _only_ words to him being, "I'm sorry."

Arra didn't try to touch him, to reach for his hand or get close to him. Instead she bowed again. Had he been more open she would not have settled to be so formal. "Prince Liam," Her voice was soft, "While your welcome here is never ending I'm sure your family will want to be informed of your condition and where you are."

Liam shot her a look, "And I thought we had passed the formalities long ago, Arra."

Arra nodded once but didn't let that stop her, "Would you like us to inform your family as soon as possible?"

Liam shook his head. "No, I'd like to impose on your hospitality a while longer. Or at least until you stop being so much like a princess with me."

She walked over carefully to him and sighed. She reached out her hand and carefully skimmed the back of his head. He winced slightly. Ilandere had healed it as best as she could but she said it had magical residue and needed time more than anything. "I did that to you, you know." She paused. "I had lost control of my Gift and it hurt you. And it still hard for me to control it now." Arra opened her hand and immediately there was fire there to meet her, where before she had to concentrate much harder than that to make it appear. The ball of fire was still blue but instead of the exact shade of crystal blue as her eyes it was one shade darker.

"I'm so--" Arra tried to begin but Liam snapped around and gave her a hard look.

"Stop saying that to me." She had never heard Liam's voice hold such a commanding tone. "Arra have you told anyone what happened that night in that room?"

Arra shook her head.

"Then I'm right, I know more about what happened than everyone else—yes, I remember." He looked her straight in the eye. "And I think I know better than everyone else how much you really lost. You lost the man who raised you your whole life, I know you loved him. And not only that but you lost your father."

"And then, Liam, I almost lost you, too." She tried not to let the growing tears bother her. "I don't want to lose more people but you've got to go home back to Tortall."

"Then come with me."

Arra shook her head. She knelt down at his feet and looked up at him. "Liam, I can't. Karucia needs me. I am the only one left who can rule without there having to be some huge war to decide who would."

"Then let me stay here with you."

Arra shook her head again.

"Why not?" His voice was calming as he gently prodded.

"Because you have to go back to Tortall." She said stubbornly. But he waited. She gave him no other answer.

"Why are you pushing me away?" There was the slightest edge of frustration to his voice. "Why are you pushing me away back to Tortall? I came here when you said you needed me and now your trying to push me away."

The words left her mouth before she could think about them. "Because I love you."

At the sound of her own voice saying that Arra flinched and averted her eyes.

Liam reached out and grabbed her chin and made her look at him. His hazel eyes were full with emotions she didn't want to notice. Compassion, understanding, love. She almost didn't catch his whisper. "Is it hard to love me? Is it really that hard?"

Arra shook her head signaling a 'no'. Of course it wasn't! He made it too easy to love him with little everything he did. How could she _not _love him?

Words were tumbling from her mouth before she knew what to do. "I want you here with me, always. I don't want you to leave. I _need_ you here with me. I want you to be my King."

Arra clamped her mouth shut. She had gone too far.

But Liam did not seem to think so. "Then why don't you ask?"

This time she was the one who was frustrated. "It's more confusing that that, that's why! You are _tied_ to Tortall. You are Tortall's knight, bound to that land. You are their prince. That would be going backwards wouldn't it? To bring the prince to the princess's Kingdom? And if we were to m-marry my Kingdom would not find it acceptable to change my name from 'Silver Crest' to 'Conte'. Silver Crest has ruled too long over Karucia for them to accept that. And I can't go back to Tortall, I belong here. Liam, there's so much that still keeps us apart."

"We could work through it, strike up a deal with Tortall."

Arra shook her head, "Chances that that would work are slim. Kingdom's hardly ever want to give up their prince's where they'll give up their princesses."

Liam made Arra look at him again. "I don't want to go back. All that really awaits me there is a title I don't want. Duke of Conte. I was told long ago that it would fall to me. I don't want it, Jasson can take it."

But Arra was still shaking her head. "I ask too much."

"No," Liam corrected. "You haven't asked anything. You've talked, but you haven't asked anything. Ask. Now."

There was not the commanding tone from before but it was firm. "Liam will you stay here with me? In Karucia? Will you be my King? I will give you anything you want, anything that will make you happy. You can have you woman in the land, and all the land you want, anything to make you happy if you stay here with me."

"Arra," Liam warned. "Don't you dare start that. Don't you _dare_. You should know by now that the only woman that could ever make me happy is you. You should know that land could not possibly make me happy seeing as how I turned down the Duke of Conte title. You should _know _that all I want, the only thing that could ever make me happy, is you. I don't know when, though I'm sure no body ever does, but fell in love with you. And I think I've loved you for a long time."

Arra rested her head on his knee from her kneeling position next to him. "Liam, there's is still something you don't know about me, about my life. If your going to consider staying here with me I think you need to know about it."

Arra explained about Fate. She tried to tell it completely and fully so that he understood everything. She told him about the seer who had come to seal her fate and explained to him that's why her three year old self fell into the depression in the first place. She told him that the seer said she would marry a Tortallan prince that, when she came to Tortall, she feared was him. She revealed the times Fate had visited her and what Fate had said. She told Liam everything, the complete story of her life. The Story of the Nameless Shang. For that was what she would always be.

"And I think after I became Shang my fear of fate wasn't helped. No Shang likes being tied down and fate is the ultimate rope to be tied down with." Arra finished.

For a while neither of them spoke but Liam's hand continued to stroke her hair. Liam broke the silence. "That . . . explains a lot." He said simply. Then he laughed. "I'm glad someone was on my side, gods know you were fighting me tooth and nail."

Arra's head snapped up. "You don't _care_? You don't care that you may only love me because it was your fate?"

"Arra," His tone was infinitely patient. "That only makes me more _sure_. And not only does it explain why you were sort of . . . cold towards me sometimes. It explains the way I felt, too." He smiled. "I didn't know why but I saw you and I was attracted, by something more than your looks, I was sure. I didn't know why, but I was. Don't get me wrong there is plenty to love about you but I couldn't understand why I would feel so strongly just by seeing you. Its like something was pulling me towards you."

"That's exactly what I feared when I came to Corus, you know. Exactly that." Arra said.

Liam shrugged. "Nothing you can do about it now. I love you and you told me you loved me so I'm never letting you go now." Arra blushed, Liam was the only one who ever had that effect on her. "I might as well fulfill what Fate had in store for me."

Why didn't he want to fight it? Arra wondered. Why was he perfectly fine with it? Arra stood and before she knew it Liam pulled her into his lap.

"Besides, I want to know what its like being married to the Shang Firebird." He nuzzled her neck and wrapped his other arm around her waist.

"I'm not the Shang Firebird. That is what I _could have been_. I will always be the Nameless Shang, Liam." Arra said.

"That works, too." Liam said chuckling against the tender skin on her neck. "Either way it's you that I want."

He turned her head so he could kiss her. And this kiss was different from any of the other ones he'd ever given her. This one was full of wanting and hunger. Arra gasped and Liam smiled against her lips using her open mouth from the gasp as an advantage.

Arra was sure this was what she wanted—no, what she _needed_. If Liam had died that night she knew a part of her would have gone too. The important part of her that made her live. If he had died, she would have died too. She needed Liam here and not just for her emotions but to help her rule.

Arra smiled and kissed him back with just as much fervor but she avoided touching the back of his head. She wouldn't let him go. Let Tortall try.

**oOo**

_Arra stood back in that gray plane, the one belonging to Fate, and she knew she was asleep. Or rather her body was and Fate had pulled her to her Domain._

"_You've done well, girlie." The voice Fate used was not the cracked old voice she had to use in the mortal realm but the powerful yet soft voice that hurt dimly in Arra's ears._

"_Does this mean your done with me?" Arra asked._

_She could hear Fate laugh. "If only the both of us were so lucky. No, you're still able to cross where ever you wish on the Paths and as long as you have that _ability_ every choice you make will affect everyone around you. That Mark is going to be there until the day you die. And I'm going to be somewhere in your life until that time too."_

_Arra sighed. Somewhere inside she had expected that. _

"_And being Queen of Karucia, you will affect a lot of people." Fate added._

"_I'm not Queen yet." _

"_But you will be." Fate said and there was satisfaction in her words. "You will be."_

**x...:...x**

A/N: I have got to tell you. This is an odd feeling. I have never finished writing a story before, I always get distracted with the possibility of another story idea or lose interest but there you are. I finally finished one.

The prequel . . . probably not going to happen. Sorry!

Now, some of you may be confused as to certain open ends I have left. Like Joel and Lianne (which one reviewer pointed out. I'm glad someone caught that!) And like the sword. There were really two endings I had in mind for this story and because so many of you wanted a sequel I had to leave _some_ open ends. This doesn't mean I've decided to actually post the sequel, but if I do, I can now.

I don't think it is as appealing as this story (to be expected I guess, sequels are hardly ever better), it will probably be shorter, and it will most definitely be a spin-off. So keep that in mind.

The story would be about Arra's daughter, mostly. Her and two of her brothers. I'm actually kind intimidated by what I have planned . . . I don't know if I'll do the storyline justice but i can try! The POV will change a lot. I think you might even be surprised at how many sub-plots ( I hope) will be in the story that aren't even important. lol. AND I haven't decided but it might be tragedy . . . probably not because I'll just make myself sad! So keep in touch with my bio page. I have the first chapter ready, I'll probably spend a couple of weeks writing a few more chapters and then I'll post it. So there you are.


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